B
---BONDING---
Guest
A couple of months ago SWIM went camping with friends for a couple of nights. On the second night SWIM was on mephedrone and got talking to one of his female friends, who was not on anything, and started feeling a bond. This friend wasn't a particularly close friend, not one SWIM would talk about personal issues with. This bond didn't bother SWIM because he knew it was the drug. The following morning SWIM had week long anxiety more-or-less centered around the female friend (worried if he did anything inappropriate and so on, SWIM was drinking as well and doesn't remember the whole night). After the week of anxiety SWIM still had the bond with the friend but thought nothing of it because he was still half certain it was just the drug and the bond began to fade. It wasn't a sexual/romantic bond, but more like a caring/sibling bond.
A few weeks later SWIM felt fairly A-OK but on the friend's birthday a lot of alcohol was drank and she tried to kiss SWIM. SWIM wouldn't kiss her because he still sort of thought of her as a sister, SWIM also wasn't/isn't attracted to her. Unfortunately the bond crept up again, this time SWIM wasn't sure if it was the "drug bond" or a genuine crush that had developed as a result of it. In an attempt to take the bull by the horns SWIM asked her out knowing he'd get shut down and hoping he could move on. It kind of worked and the bond faded.
But SWIM is a moron and thought it was all in the past and so decided to take ecstasy while out with the girl (once again she wasn't on anything) a few weeks later.
Guess what happened?
Now the only thing SWIM can think to do is avoid her until things go back to normal, but unfortunately the friendship has definitely been strained by what she, and all of SWIM's friends, think is SWIM being a love-sick idiot who can't get over her (SWIM is incapable of not making stupid remarks when drinking). The friend doesn't do drugs and so probably wouldn't understand. None of SWIM's friends that do drugs have a had similar experiences (as far as SWIM is aware) and so he's not sure if they'd understand either.
SWIM has been doing ecstasy for a couple of years and has never bonded with someone who wasn't on ecstasy. SWIM also didn't think mephedrone would cause bonding but evidently it does (Wikipedia tells SWIM it too is a Empathogen, and Google tells him it releases Oxytocin).
Has anyone else ever had similar experiences and how did you move on? SWIM isn't really looking for advice, he just thinks he'd feel better to know he's not alone in this.
A few weeks later SWIM felt fairly A-OK but on the friend's birthday a lot of alcohol was drank and she tried to kiss SWIM. SWIM wouldn't kiss her because he still sort of thought of her as a sister, SWIM also wasn't/isn't attracted to her. Unfortunately the bond crept up again, this time SWIM wasn't sure if it was the "drug bond" or a genuine crush that had developed as a result of it. In an attempt to take the bull by the horns SWIM asked her out knowing he'd get shut down and hoping he could move on. It kind of worked and the bond faded.
But SWIM is a moron and thought it was all in the past and so decided to take ecstasy while out with the girl (once again she wasn't on anything) a few weeks later.
Guess what happened?
Now the only thing SWIM can think to do is avoid her until things go back to normal, but unfortunately the friendship has definitely been strained by what she, and all of SWIM's friends, think is SWIM being a love-sick idiot who can't get over her (SWIM is incapable of not making stupid remarks when drinking). The friend doesn't do drugs and so probably wouldn't understand. None of SWIM's friends that do drugs have a had similar experiences (as far as SWIM is aware) and so he's not sure if they'd understand either.
SWIM has been doing ecstasy for a couple of years and has never bonded with someone who wasn't on ecstasy. SWIM also didn't think mephedrone would cause bonding but evidently it does (Wikipedia tells SWIM it too is a Empathogen, and Google tells him it releases Oxytocin).
Has anyone else ever had similar experiences and how did you move on? SWIM isn't really looking for advice, he just thinks he'd feel better to know he's not alone in this.