Esoteric Unconditional acceptance during come-up as related to trip strength

[Listening]

I appreciate that I would not be saying anything new to suggest that your (mind)set going into a trip will affect said trip. However, during my most recent trip, during the come-up, I had the intuition that there is more to this than just what is commonly understood and repeated.

I assert that an open mental posture, grounded in unconditional welcoming and acceptance, will not just affect the the trip qualitatively, but will also have a direct effect on the intensity of every aspect of the trip. I am not, of course, suggesting that this is the only thing that affects the strength of the trip effects, but it's one factor.

Since a large part of a psychedelic come-up is necessarily uncomfortable (at least for me), a mental posture of unconditional welcoming typically requires a stance infused with steadfast bravery and unwavering conviction. In the past I've tended to vacillate between accepting the effects of the come-up, or else trying to distract myself from them until they passed. For example, I would do physical activity (ride a spin bike, move around and tidy the house, or whatever), or just try to wait it out, or else I would get lost in thoughts about life the universe and everything. The latter, while seemingly appropriate for a trip, is nonetheless a defensive posture: Another clever distraction from being here right now; another way of ignoring what we don't like and reinforcing our unexamined belief that we are not able to handle reality as it is, when said reality does not match our preference.

I'm sure the required posture comes automatically and intuitively to some people (maybe even to most psychonauts) even if not thought about explicitly. Certainly my first trips were like this: I accepted and opened some, not because I wanted to experience the discomfort (I didn't), but because I felt like there was little choice. Still, there was always an element of resistance to what I don't like, and a desire for what I like. I believe that this has (at best) a muting effect on the whole trip.

I've written before about the first trip for my partner and I, which was about 15 years ago. We each took the same dose of mushrooms. I tripped balls. She had exactly zero effects. She might as well have eaten a tic tac. This happened a second time when we tried again. In later years she tripped just fine (we have had a bunch of great trips together) and these two original experiences of complete impotence remained entirely unexplained. My partner is an amazing and shockingly intelligent person, but know this: she is (or was) the most heavily defended and neurotic individual I've ever encountered. She has a shield of armor in her psyche. I now believe that she was unable to open up that little bit that would have been required to "trip over the edge" and let go into all that is.

Of course I could be wrong. I'm biased in my assertion of the non-bias of all that is. This is, as of late, part of my unconditional practice, whether tripping or not. Every moment is one of feeling and seeing everything that's there. Nothing is ignored. If I love it, I will feel it fully. If I hate it, I will feel it fully. If I'm indifferent to it, still I will feel it fully. There is nothing to defend against, because nothing outside of me is about me. Perhaps nothing inside of me is about me either. Perhaps me isn't even about me. It's all quite interesting.

 

[Buzz Lightbeer]

Great post, thanks.

a mental posture of unconditional welcoming typically requires a stance infused with steadfast bravery and unwavering conviction

I think that in principle there isn't that much inherent difference between complete acceptance during the come up and after the come up. Disregarding the potential effect on trip strength, very similar problems just arise.

I have always experienced some sort of resistance, part of it is physical, the majority is mental. I think I realize now that I have always accepted it as unavoidable (lol) and my plan and instant reaction is indeed getting defensive, until all is good but some defense remains. Maybe the key is, as you say, starting clean, but I think that for me it'd come down to solving the exact issues from after the come up.

 

[Freeotrope]

I think the most common theme i've experienced with psychedelics is the revelation of something I've resisted, its emergence into consciousness and the cathartic release that comes from acceptance. Once something that appeared difficult to accept is accepted, I find there is a deeper connection with my body, emotions and ability to see myself unbiasedly, and this facilitates seeing others and connecting to others more deeply. Visuals are rare for me and acceptance doesn't seem to play a role in that aspect.

The quality of mind that I find that increases the intensity or depth of the trip is concentration.

 

[brokedownpalace10]

The best way to handle the somewhat uncomfortable tenseness of an LSD comeup is exercise. Hit the gym if you do that, chop wood, whatever. You will have a sense of accomplishing something and feel more grounded and able physically as you enter the trip as a bonus.

 

[Ballz_Trippington]

Being totally serious here....I've found blacklight table hockey to be the most dramatic reducer for coming up on any psychedelic but especially acid....there's something about the distraction from the blacklights and the hyper focus and the fact thst it's its a "no stakes" game that just consistently dispelles the come up .
I swear to God table hockey or even better glow or blacklight table hockey completely takes your mind off of the come up on pretty much every psychedelic I've ever tried!
It's consistently produced the smoothest transition into tripping by a long shot.
I think it has something to do with being in a dark room (sensory deprivation ( and hyper focus distracting from the come up)
And just being in a relaxed jovial mood that creates a really good setting for coming up on psychedelics.
EDIT
I think this would work bestcat hone in a basement with your own equipment....I don't know how well dropping acid and going to a table hockey place would play out!

 

[Listening]

Great post, thanks.

I think that in principle there isn't that much inherent difference between complete acceptance during the come up and after the come up. Disregarding the potential effect on trip strength, very similar problems just arise.

I have always experienced some sort of resistance, part of it is physical, the majority is mental. I think I realize now that I have always accepted it as unavoidable (lol) and my plan and instant reaction is indeed getting defensive, until all is good but some defense remains. Maybe the key is, as you say, starting clean, but I think that for me it'd come down to solving the exact issues from after the come up.

I agree that this attitude is just as important during the trip as the come-up. For the rest, I would have said the same previously, but consider this:

The physical resistance we encounter may be impossible to disentangle from the mental resistance. They maybe two sides of a coin. Psychedelics give us (among other things) brief glimpses of the glory of being fully awake to the present. Some of us are then left with the deep, painful longing: "if only I could get me some of that throughout my sober moments..." However, if your attitude is to wait until the uncomfortable part passes, and then jump in, you may find much of your life to be in the "just wait until it's over" category. Maybe that's just my problem though.

 

[Buzz Lightbeer]

I agree that this attitude is just as important during the trip as the come-up. For the rest, I would have said the same previously, but consider this:

The physical resistance we encounter may be impossible to disentangle from the mental resistance. They maybe two sides of a coin. Psychedelics give us (among other things) brief glimpses of the glory of being fully awake to the present. Some of us are then left with the deep, painful longing: "if only I could get me some of that throughout my sober moments..." However, if your attitude is to wait until the uncomfortable part passes, and then jump in, you may find much of your life to be in the "just wait until it's over" category. Maybe that's just my problem though.

Yeah but I don't see the come up as the uncomfortable part, the whole experience is uncomfortable on some level, it depends a lot on the drug too, but it's always there.
That's why I don't distinguish between the two, as it comes down to the same thing for me. I am very good at hiding and avoiding however. I think it happens almost entirely subconsciously, and often it is quite minor, but still.

It's difficult to explain, but I think to fully accept what is gonna happen and be brave and whatnot, it requires some level of comfortableness with yourself and all the context. And that has never been there for me, it's a chicken and egg kind of situation too as this is pretty much the problem you're trying to tackle initially.

It was mainly ETH-LAD that made me realize this, at the time I concluded it was probably a lack of experience, in psychedelica and in life. I'm also extremely hyperactive mentally and physically so pretty much anything I do at any moment is some sort of defence mechanism against not being uncomfortable. Tough nuts to crack.

 

[Listening]

It's difficult to explain, but I think to fully accept what is gonna happen and be brave and whatnot, it requires some level of comfortableness with yourself and all the context...

I think this attitude works for a lot of people. It's the typical goal of western psychotherapy: Bring into conscious awareness that which was previously rejected in oneself (during early childhood) and pushed out of conscious awareness. Through this re-owning of these hitherto unconscious energies, we gradually become more comfortable in our own skin. We get to know ourselves a bit.

It's a worthy pursuit, and I am at it myself, but go and get Freud's opinion about where and when it ends. It troubled him much.

There is another parallel path whose goal has much in common with the above, but doesn't require any sufficient comfort with self, and doesn't necessarily require making conscious all those things that we may anyway never be able to fully excavate from the lost city of our early childhood. It's this other path that I'm talking about here.

 

[Buzz Lightbeer]

I think this attitude works for a lot of people. It's the typical goal of western psychotherapy: Bring into conscious awareness that which was previously rejected in oneself (during early childhood) and pushed out of conscious awareness. Through this re-owning of these hitherto unconscious energies, we gradually become more comfortable in our own skin. We get to know ourselves a bit.

It's a worthy pursuit, and I am at it myself, but go and get Freud's opinion about where and when it ends. It troubled him much.

There is another parallel path whose goal has much in common with the above, but doesn't require any sufficient comfort with self, and doesn't necessarily require making conscious all those things that we may anyway never be able to fully excavate from the lost city of our early childhood. It's this other path that I'm talking about here.

I see, thanks, I'll keep that in mind as I continue to just... do...

But my original point, which I did word quite poorly is still there I think. How can I consciously put myself in such an open stance while my "unconsciousness" (I guess) wants to avoid at all costs. Not simply because of everything that happens during the come up, because I run into the same issues mid trip as well. Like not being able to fully relax, accept, recognize and stop the very subtle deflections. I haven't mastered that at all, and since this is the whole premise I just assumed it was, uhmm, too hard, since it feels much easier when tripping because I'm more aware. I think I know what I need to know though, and it'll just take time and some effort.
Anyway, sorry for hijacking the thread with this, I've never been able to say these things out loud hence... By all means people, keep going

 

[Listening]

How can I consciously put myself in such an open stance while my "unconsciousness" (I guess) wants to avoid at all costs. Not simply because of everything that happens during the come up, because I run into the same issues mid trip as well. Like not being able to fully relax, accept, recognize and stop the very subtle deflections. I haven't mastered that at all...

"How," is a good question and I admit that I haven't said anything in that regard here. I'm sure there are 100s (or more) very different spiritual practices that aim for a similar target, but I can tell you a bit about my own. I'm following a particular variation of vajrayana buddhism as suggested in the book Already Free. (I've had various meditation practices over many years and had always been intrigued by the teachings of Chogyam Trungpa, but it is this book that has recently resonated with me most.)

In short (and only very partially): We start with the premise that neurosis/neuroses (including defenses of any sort) are a substitute for having to feel certain intense embodied feelings that we (perhaps unconsciously) think we can't handle and don't want to feel. Therefor the first part of the how, is to cozy up with all these bodily feelings; To feel them all completely and without exception; To examine our belief that it's "too hard" to feel that stuff, or that those feelings are even a problem at all. So when you say you are, "not being able to fully relax," the practice is to look into your body and stay with whatever body feelings you find there. Your automatic reaction is to jump away from this: to unconsciously distract yourself via some neurotic thoughts or behavior (or consciously do so in some other way). Is it actually a problem that you're not relaxed or is it just not your preference? The suggestion is that there is a way to welcome and accept those feelings in your body (even if we still might prefer not to have them), and thereby reconnect with some until-now disowned part of ourselves. Taken to the extreme, we learn to welcome all body feelings, rather than reacting unconsciously by jumping elsewhere. In so doing we reconnect with ourselves, one moment at a time, until we can no longer pretend to find any problem inside ourselves at all.

Anyway, sorry for hijacking the thread with this, I've never been able to say these things out loud

Funny you apologize for hijacking as I wanted to apologize for picking on you. If I do so it's mostly because I've had many of those same thoughts & feelings and I'm looking to bounce this stuff off people. Very much appreciate all of the honest and relevant discussion.