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unattractive if girl has had more sex partners than you?

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WOLTERP

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 24, 2003
Messages
95
Location
So Cal
this question is for the guys.... would it bother you if your girlfriend had more partners than you in the past? say you only had sex with 1 person b4 you met your girlfriend and she's had sex with 3 for example.

not trying to sound chovanistic but i know a lot of guys who have issues with this.

be honest

only a very few people have made it to the top of mount everest for example. the more people that make it to the top, the less special and accomplished it is to make it if people have done it b4 you. that's how i catch myself feeling sometimes about my girl, and i know its fucked up.

sorry if anyone is offended.
 
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it really depends on how you feel about her.....

If I loved her, it wouldn't bother me. Would I be somewhat insecure that maybe one of her guys was better than me? Of course.....

but as they say....practice makes perfect, if you and her are vocal with eachother, she will cum every time you have sex with her......Guarenteed.

Tell her this.....hey baby, I am about to make you cum like a volcano. When she gets through laughing.....it is on son.
 
That can be a bit of a turnoff for me, but as dbighead2 said "it really depends on how you feel about her..."

Sometimes if a girl has had a lot of partners or a lot of experience I can get intimidated; I think in the back of my mind that maybe I won't be able to satisfy her..but I guess that's another issue.
 
I found all thoughts of the nature you speak of disappeared once I had like 20 or so. ;)

Seriously, it's a thought pattern that - in the end - you will look back and go "What was I thinking! She was gorgeous and she loved me!" Don't fuck a relationship up because of this issue. Life is to enjoy!
 
we look at it like this, but I am sure girls feel the same way about guys with more experience than they have.

It's natural to feel intimidated by someone that is "better" at something than you are.
 
^^ Oh, I agree..

It's just about keeping perspective on the issue: The 1st 2nd 3rd time you have sex with your new woman won't be your last if you are in a relationship.

You should get BETTER at sex with her DURING the relationship - not simply arrive at the relationship with "All the skill necessary".
 
WOLTERP said:
not trying to sound chovanistic but i know a lot of guys who have issues with this....that's how i catch myself feeling sometimes about my girl, and i know its fucked up.
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This is why some women will tell those l'il white lies about their sexual past.

It shouldn't matter but it does to some men, get over it.
 
lifeisforliving said:
You should get BETTER at sex with her DURING the relationship - not simply arrive at the relationship with "All the skill necessary".
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exactly
 
Absolutely. I couldn't handle it. Hearing that my precious girlfriend had existed before me would destroy my sense of all that is right and correct in the world.How could I subject myself to some slut who had the temerity to defile herself with other men before she met me? The concept is horrifying I tell you!

...
 
WOLTERP said:


only a very few people have made it to the top of mount everest for example. the more people that make it to the top, the less special and accomplished it is to make it if people have done it b4 you. that's how i catch myself feeling sometimes about my girl, and i know its fucked up.
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You know, I bet nobody really cares who the eleventh person to climb Mount Everest was, because it's just not that special anymore.

But it's still pretty special to that eleventh person.

Anyway, please remember that girls/women are people, not conquests. And even is women were conquests (because some men do like to think that way), it's much better to be the guy to win her heart, not her body.
 
I personally find it a huge turn off when a guy has issues with this.... talk about insecure and needy. Yuk. If they had an issue with something like this, id be happy to call it off. No one needs that crap, and to be punished for their past.
 
Guilty as charged, and fairnymph, dont judge us guys too harshly, its not in our heads its seriously something that cant be controlled.

You refer to is as bigotry but lets face it, I am yet to have found myself attracted to a black girl, much as in the same way the appeal is lost when I find out that they have "done the rounds" more than me. I dont think less of these people just as i dont think any less of someone because of the colour of their skin, just something inside switches off and i loose interest.

Bigotry is the wrong word, by a long shot, I'm yet to hear of a descrimination claim of any nature where someone refused to have a relationship based on the colour of their skin. At the end of the day, who someone is attracted to is totally of their own choosing, requires no justification and is generally a subconcious decision.

As far as I am concerned your just going to haveta accept that some of us guys think like this, and I can tell you now that amoungst my group of friends, it has been discussed and all the guys admit that this has some bearing on how attractive they find a girl and i'd guess about 3/4 would rule a girl out based on it. I think deep down its a natural instinct that kicks in and makes us think if a girl has been around before then she probably isnt going to stop going around just for you.
 
It's just because guys like this are cowardly. They're too busy justifying to themselves "oh.. it's because she's a slut" or "she'll just cheat on me" or "she'll think I've got a small dick or am a shit root".

Instead of jumping to conclusions, that are possibly quite far-fetched assumptions of an indivudual, they should look at themselves:

* I feel inferior
* I feel intimidated
* I feel threatened

Ask yourself why? It's YOUR issue! Seriously! Maybe it's to do with pride? Pride may be cold comfort - but it's comfort!!! Recognise these things, it's not wrong to have insecurities within yourself... it's wrong to blame other people for them.

btw... none of my close male friends think like this. Although, we are a faily strong-minded, confident crowd, who have been through a lot of shit. There's much more worthy causes to dedicate your concerns to, than what someone did before they even met you... :p Have fun dwelling, *trying* your hearts out to make yourselves feel good about things - you're weak and until you stop blaming others, you will remain weak.

Suffer in hell fools!
 
KandyRaverChick, i think your way off the mark, if you spoke to anyone who knows me they'd say, I'm up myself, im arogant, very little intimidates me and im far to cocky for my own good. Ive been out with one girl who slept with more people than me, and it felt dirty at first and i didnt like it, we lasted for two years before i got bored of her for other reasons.

Its not my issue, not in the slightest, because currently I have a a gorgeous girlfriend and although we are currently getting over our first set of issues its typically been a very healthy relationship.

I really think its instinct, something inbuilt that was meant to stop guys settling down with girls that are likely to have children with other people. it doesnt bother me in the slightest that i have this feeling.

Also, ask your male friends what they would prefere, it might not be a deal breaker, but like i said almost all guys will factor this in to some degree.
 
if you spoke to anyone who knows me they'd say, I'm up myself, im arogant, very little intimidates me and im far to cocky for my own good
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That's generally the case with people who are covering up some sort of feeling of inadequacy. Confident, secure people are not arrogant, they are calm pleasant people because they have nothing they feel thay have to prove to the outside world.

As far as I am concerned your just going to haveta accept that some of us guys think like this, and I can tell you now that amoungst my group of friends, it has been discussed and all the guys admit that this has some bearing on how attractive they find a girl and i'd guess about 3/4 would rule a girl out based on it.
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Lot's of equally arrogant, cock-shure friends? What's the phrase 'birds of a feather, flock together'?

Ive been out with one girl who slept with more people than me, and it felt dirty at first and i didnt like it, we lasted for two years before i got bored of her for other reasons.
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It felt 'dirty'... you didn't like it... before you got bored with her for other reasons?

Listen to yourself, it sounds like a walking parody of what it is to be 'a manly man'! You just toyed with her until you became 'bored' with her as a plaything.

it doesnt bother me in the slightest that i have this feeling.
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And that doesn't surprise me. Sorry to say this, but you sound like a cliche of what it is to be 'a man' (like something out of a 50's western). My first long term relationship was with a woman who'd slept with more people than me, but it didn't matter. What does matter is that they are a loving person who cares for you as much as you care for them. All the issues you have are rooted in the pre 60's sexual enlightenment (and god knows they had some fucked up issues due to too much testosterone and not enough communication
 
I think each persons own personal perspective is right on this one. If you are turned off by someone who is vastly more (or less) sexual than you, it's probably in your best interests to end it.

I can see this is a touchy subject for most people. Let me say you are not doing yourself any favours when attacking others. :|
 
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