Benzos Trying to figure out just how addicted I am

[Amelya]

I've been taking diazepam for several years. I'm prescribed to take up to three 10mg a day. Over the years sometimes I only took one sometimes more. Lately one pill isn't helping at all. I've been taking 6 to 9 through the week and only 1 on weekend when I'm at home.
Anyway, I'm starting to get scared after reading about awful withdrawals and seizures. I know I can't stop taking them so because I really ned them for anxiety. I'm trying to figure a way to ask my doctor for more without seeming like a drug seeker. and I don't want him to take me off. I'm getting off track here sorry. It's hard on my phone too keep up with what I'm typing.
Would it be reasonable to tell my doctor I ned double what he is prescribing? And I'm in no danger in lowering to only 1 p pill on weekend right? I also have chronic pain and through the week I mainly use ibuprofen and hydrocodone on weekend wich also helps take edge off not having diazepam. I hope I made sense. Sorry so long, I understand if you see tyre length and just move on but any advice appreciated.

 

[f33lg00d]

Don't ask your doctor to double your dose, just see him and say it isn't working anymore since you've been on it for several years tolerance is expected and he'll probably up your dose. You're in no danger taking only one on the weekend, if your uncomfortably with the frequency you use taper down and take a break. Taking a break will lower your tolerance also. But I have no first hand experience with this so I'm just speculating.

 

[aveoturbo]

Pill holidays can be marvelous when you come back to said drugs you are taking a break from. Just tell your doctor that its no longer working as it should be and he may up your dose or add/change the med. If you do a proper taper down then you will be fine more than likely.
Im not sure what kind of pain you have, but if its neurological related, you may benefit from the addition of gabapentin or lyrica which also can sometimes have anti-anxiety and antidepressant properties. Just a thought. Discuss it with your doctor tho.

 

[Amelya]

Pill holidays are getting harder to take. I'm having a hard time making my script last. Right though I shouldn't go in asking for double. I think I'll be able to get one more pill a day. I think the diazepam is affecting my memory. I'm meshing up a lot at work. Ihave so much anxiety without it though that I wouldn't be able to show rio work without it. I went wrong with other doctor last week when I told him I was concerned about the hydrocodone making me worry because of the tylenol causing liver damage. I was going for oxycodone..i knew he wouldn't just change me to hydro with ib because I already take ib a lot. He just looked at me suspicious and said don't take more than prescribed. And he gives me tramadol also but I like the hydro better. I am drug seeking I guess but I'm really in a lot of pain and anxiety.

 

[aveoturbo]

They can be difficult for sure. Since he gave you tramadol, why not try to go without the hydro and diaz? Try it on a day when you dont have to work and will just be at home chillin'. Just try to get by on the tramadol, just dont go over 400-500 mgs/day. If you feel you need something stronger just flat out say that the current meds are no longer working for you. I still stand by thinking about asking for some gabapentin/lyrica just to see if it helps. Good luck!

 

[Amelya]

Thanks Chi-town. that's what I've been doing a long thing. Taking diazepam break on weekend though and upping hydro and/or tramadol and it's getti.g harder not to take them. I'll look more into the lyrica I hear about it but don't know much about it. I'll see if out strikes me tight and may ask for it.

 

[aveoturbo]

Your first day on Lyrica might be a kick in the pants. I remember my first dose that I took at work. I couldnt stay awake and it was only 75 mgs. Good luck!

 

[DressedInBlack]

6 to 9 per day seems to be quite a big amount, but if you are able to restrict it to one per weekend (or do you mean one per day on weekends?), your physical addiction might be not so strong. Taking only 10mg per weekend shouldn't be dangerous at all if you don't feel any symptoms of severe withdrawal. Otherwise, I know diazepam has a considerable halflife (~30h for people of middle age), so perhaps you don't feel withdrawals because it stays in your system for so long. There should be ~180mg left in your system from weekday-consumption corresponding to about 60 mg at the end of your weekend. An additional 10mg (or 20mg) should not make a huge difference physically, as it only increases your residual amount by 4mg (or 7mg). Hydrocodone is also very likely to mask withdrawals, so it is sure, that it is a combination of both.

Since withdrawal symptoms and their intensity vary from person to person, I will give you a strategy to approximate the severity of your physical addiction. Altough you do not want to decrease your dose, this unfortunately includes tapering partially, but only to the point, where you can stand your withdrawals. If you suffer too strongly, you will have to increase your dose again instantly until you reach an amount which fits you.

To judge your level of physical addiction, you might try to restrict yourself to Diazepam and ibuprofen on weekends or if impossible, reduce your hydrocodone gradually. The amount of your reduced dose depends on your recent hydrocodone dose and of course on your Diazepam dose. I would suggest 1/5 less per week, but I ain't a medic, so just go and ask a doctor, of course not the one who writes out your prescription , or any institution that deals with withdrawals about a plan for your current dose. If you experience major withdrawals when taking away the hydrocodone, you are most likely strongly addicted.

If this causes you no or only minor problems, try to reduce your diazepam dose gradually to the point where withdrawals are pronounced, but still tolerable. You should stick to a constant dose on weekdays, 75mg for example, every week reduce it by 10mg (my suggestion, do not hesitate to ask a doctor!). If you know your tolerable dose, you can roughly judge your level of physical addiction and stay on your level of meds or, in the case you can't stand your withdrawals anymore, increase it gradually by 10mg per week again, until you are fine with your dose, but not over your initial 75mg per day.

Another case is your psychological addiction, which is obviously very high, considering you need 6-9 pills per day in order to keep up with your anxiety. This is what makes me concerned, because it is what should REALLY make you think about lowering your dose.

Maybe another substance will help you with anxiety, try a SSRI or example.

Just in case you are not at all able to cope with withdrawals and need to increase your dose, you can visit another doctor, while having taken less than the usual amount in order to be in a rather anxious mood, and ask him for a prescription.

 

[Amelya]

I meant I take one saturday and one sunday. And yes the hydro definitely helps take the edge off. I know a lot is psychological though because just reading you talk about tapering made my heart start racing and heading for my bottle. I know there is some physical too because I had surgery a few months ago and I was loaded with pain meds but on day 4 I sick couldn't relax just felt very twitchy and strange paranoid type feeling. I couldn't keep my arms still and had to keep moving my head back and forth. It got my mind of pain but was a scary experience. I had my diazepam brought to me because the nurse bad already told me the doctor wanted to lower my pain med so I didn't want to ask for it. I hate the treatment after they decide in their mind you only want drugs. Anyway the diazepam made those crazy symptoms go away.
I've read up on lyrica and I don't think it's for me.