Hello to all! I have been around for awhile but this is my first post. I feel as if I know some of you after reading so much here at BL!
I am a female from the Southwestern United States (well that is my location but I am actually from the Gulf Coast which I miss a lot, this landlocked shit sucks!!). I have been in the medical profession for about 19 years but have not been working for the past year and a half due to several reasons, one of which is chronic pain and all it ensues--including much opiate usage! My DOC has been and probably always will be oxy...though lately I have been plagued with thoughts of heroin due to the high financial burden of being under medicated. I am a closet opiate junky with heroin probably being one of the few I have not tried. I have been on many prescribed (and non-prescribed as well) controlled substances for about 9 years. The only time I have gotten off was when I became unexpectedly pregnant. I pride myself on being an awesome parent. Without drugs I would be a not as good of a parent (and I dont give a damn what the government, medical field or any "non" user says or thinks). As a teen and early twenties I partied a lot with alcohol and much cannabis and a few other things here and there but it has been a long time since. I would be lying to myself and all if I said that I dont love the euphoria that comes with it but I use in order to get through my day physically and because oxy gives me that boost to accomplish all that comes with my very busy life. I dont like to nod and hardly ever use any downers because I need to feel that energy that comes with that perfect dose of opiates. My tolerance has varied over the years and maybe at an all time high right now. As many of you know when you start with a new doctor (due to moving to a new state) it is sometimes like starting all over with your medication dosages. It is so very hard to find a new doc that is not terrified of prescribing narcotics. This has led to what is probably my biggest regret over the years, the money that has been spent buying on the street.
I have come to BL for many years for knowledge. I am here now seeking more knowledge (not meaning the "book" kind of learning though I have experienced a lot of that here too) and to connect with others who experience the same things I do by being an addicted drug user and all that goes with it. Since I am so careful to guard my secrets in "real life" it will be so awesome to share the most important thing in my life right behind my children (though some of them are pretty much grown). I think that this is the first time I have ever actually said what I have lied to myself (and definitely everyone else) about most of the time over the years, that I am an addict.
Ok, damn, that being said so seriously, I also love to laugh and have a naughty sense of humor and absolutely get a kick out of many of the posts and post-ers here. So I am also here for the laughs. I look forward to officially "meeting" many of you I have admired for quite a while and for the opportunity to express my opinion and thoughts on others and to now be able to call bullshit where appropriate!! Everyday that I am here I learn something new and am excited to continue this journey with all in this awesome community of acceptance and true caring. Hopefully along the way some of my knowledge (this includes some knowledge and experience as a nurse for so many years and as a user) will help someone else physically be safe and mentally and emotionally feel better.
Miss
Damn, sorry that ended up being long!!
I am a female from the Southwestern United States (well that is my location but I am actually from the Gulf Coast which I miss a lot, this landlocked shit sucks!!). I have been in the medical profession for about 19 years but have not been working for the past year and a half due to several reasons, one of which is chronic pain and all it ensues--including much opiate usage! My DOC has been and probably always will be oxy...though lately I have been plagued with thoughts of heroin due to the high financial burden of being under medicated. I am a closet opiate junky with heroin probably being one of the few I have not tried. I have been on many prescribed (and non-prescribed as well) controlled substances for about 9 years. The only time I have gotten off was when I became unexpectedly pregnant. I pride myself on being an awesome parent. Without drugs I would be a not as good of a parent (and I dont give a damn what the government, medical field or any "non" user says or thinks). As a teen and early twenties I partied a lot with alcohol and much cannabis and a few other things here and there but it has been a long time since. I would be lying to myself and all if I said that I dont love the euphoria that comes with it but I use in order to get through my day physically and because oxy gives me that boost to accomplish all that comes with my very busy life. I dont like to nod and hardly ever use any downers because I need to feel that energy that comes with that perfect dose of opiates. My tolerance has varied over the years and maybe at an all time high right now. As many of you know when you start with a new doctor (due to moving to a new state) it is sometimes like starting all over with your medication dosages. It is so very hard to find a new doc that is not terrified of prescribing narcotics. This has led to what is probably my biggest regret over the years, the money that has been spent buying on the street.
I have come to BL for many years for knowledge. I am here now seeking more knowledge (not meaning the "book" kind of learning though I have experienced a lot of that here too) and to connect with others who experience the same things I do by being an addicted drug user and all that goes with it. Since I am so careful to guard my secrets in "real life" it will be so awesome to share the most important thing in my life right behind my children (though some of them are pretty much grown). I think that this is the first time I have ever actually said what I have lied to myself (and definitely everyone else) about most of the time over the years, that I am an addict.
Ok, damn, that being said so seriously, I also love to laugh and have a naughty sense of humor and absolutely get a kick out of many of the posts and post-ers here. So I am also here for the laughs. I look forward to officially "meeting" many of you I have admired for quite a while and for the opportunity to express my opinion and thoughts on others and to now be able to call bullshit where appropriate!! Everyday that I am here I learn something new and am excited to continue this journey with all in this awesome community of acceptance and true caring. Hopefully along the way some of my knowledge (this includes some knowledge and experience as a nurse for so many years and as a user) will help someone else physically be safe and mentally and emotionally feel better.
Miss
Damn, sorry that ended up being long!!
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")