We masters at this. every one of us was born to wait. we waited on phone calls, waited for the streets to cool down, for the block to get less hot. we waited for the brick man to come, always 15 minutes away, always comin around the corner right now. " I just turned the corner nigga I see you! im right here yo, I see you right now ight Ill be right there!"
we waited for the d boy to get to our car, parked in line waitin to be served. roll down the window, quick, hand it off and go, make a clean getaway, waited til we made sure nobody was on us before we let ourselves feel safe.
we waited for payday, we waited for sisters and moms and to get home to borrow their credit card, for grandmas to need help with yard work, anxiously waitin for the pocketbook to open, hoping against hope we would get handed a few bills and the checkbook wouldnt come out to pay us instead.
we waited for the 45 minute drive to the only store that allows cash back when you buy shit with a check to end. we waited to finally be on our way to the dope and not just on the way to another one of the 500 things a hour out of the way that we had to do to get the money to get the dope before we could even begin.
we waited to find someone who would trade bundles for phone cards, for GPS's n ipods and electronic equipment, we waited for checks in the mail from somethin or other, birthdays, christmas, unemployment. we waited for our rides to get out of work to take us down, or back from coppin our shit while we waited at home. we waited for our connects to get out of jail, to get back from the city, to be done at probation, to get up in the mornin, we waited for them to put more minutes on their phones, sweatin n twisting in our seats, sittin in our car in some fast food parking lot hoping theyd remember that they told us to come up in 10 minutes and that theyd notice they hadnt got a call since then. hopin they didnt turn off the phone on purpose, that the jump out boys hadnt came thru, that they wasnt up there pushin everybody against the wall, hopin that they didnt run out and waitin to find out if they did.
we waited for court to end so we could take our hot-n-cold, sweatin, chill-shiverin asses a few blocks away and get right at 9:30 in the mornin, pushin the memory of wooden benches and the smell of munincipal carpeting to the back of our minds, ignoring the seriousness we felt just ten minutes ago while we stood in the defendant box and swore up and down we were done with that mess, waited for our mindsets go back to normal after keepin those reformed'n'redeemed fronts up for the judge, shakin off the sudden spell of confusion, of "is this really worth it anymore?" that washed over us while we stood listenin to the mess we'd be into if we didnt stop this shit before the sentencing date came up.
we waited to get to the pharmacy to get a pack of needles, cussin ourselves for only bringin one old ass set that clogged the second we tried to draw up water for the shot. we waited on line behind sniffling bronchitis-hackin babies n fat old heffas with toe fungus who waited for cough syrup antibiotics n foot cream. we waited for the pharmacist to look us up and down with that disapproving, slit-eye look , same as a cat does when its ears get all flat cuz it dont like somethin youre doin. we waited those fateful few minutes while she decided if they were just gonna happen to be all out of insulin syringes today, or give us the brown bag with the blue "i know exactly wat you up to" needle safety pamphlet inside.
we waited for a safe, or not so safe place to boot up, we waited for everyone to leave the bathroom, we waited for the people parked next to us to get out of their cars and go inside and stop staring at us. we waited for our hands to stop shaking while we unwrapped the rubber band, we waited for the stupid tape to rip open when they used the shitty shiny kind thats a bitch to slice thru to pack up the bags. we waited for the dope to pour out of the bag, we waited for it to come unstuck from the wax paper while we flicked it a million times tryin to get every last flake out into our bottle cap. we waited for it to dissolve into the water while we mixed it feelin like we were in slow motion, waited for the dope to slowly fill the syringe barrell as we drew it up, finally so close and time is going slower than it has all day in those last few seconds before liftoff.
we waited to find a vein, slappin at our arm, flexing it, squeezin our fists , prayin for one to show enough to hit it, we waited to see blood feather out into the barrel as we stuck ourselves over and over into one ruined, collapsed, scarred-ass vein after another, and finally pushed down the plunger, and then we waited, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, daaammnn..............for the rush to hit......
And after makin it thru one more day, we waited to wake up and do it all over again, the hustle, the phone calls, the drive and the tense-ass 10 minutes that could make or break us. we waited to make it off the block and back to the fringe of the city, the downtown, the area for people just passin thru, we waited for the light to change, nervously tappin our fingers on the wheel , eyeing the rearview for any of those blue and red stripes on a long white body with letters that spelled out trouble, and if we saw them we waited for em to pass, waited to see their blinker signal the opposite turn than we were making before we sighed with relief.
when we drove up the on ramp for the highway we drove careful, cautious, anxious waitin to get out of the danger zone where the hondas and fords and dodges with full black, deep tinted windows always lurking, always following a few cars behind their target, actin casual till theyd zoom in for the takedown. we waited to just get far enough away, to get back into neutral territory, to cross the invisible line somewhere up the road that would turn us from suspects into regular people just goin about our days. we felt our hearts skip a beat n go a little faster when we passed by that old enemy, the black on black charger, black rims black tints black grill, and it pulled out behind us.
and as it gained on us, not changin lanes, not goin around us, not just coincidentally headin off to some call that it got dispatched to at the same time we drove by, we waited again. Only this time it was the bad kind of waiting, the kind where you wish you could just cut to the end and spare yourself all the trouble in between, but instead you gotta sit thru it like a movie you seen a hundred times before, and tell yourself i told you so, and all you can do is wait.
So we waited for the inevitable, playing out in slow motion, knowing more than we ever knew anything in our lives up to that moment wat was coming next n not being able to do one damn thing about it, waited for the lights to flip on, red n blue light bursting off our mirrors like a explosion of fireworks set off by the TNT squad to celebrate "youre fucked" day.
when the stiff blue suit in shiny black boots stepped up to our window we reached for our papers, trying to stop our hands from shakin, handed them over almost guilty-like, feelin like a child giving back something he swore he didnt steal. and then we waited for the computer to run our plates, our licenses, our names, our records, knowing the things that would appear on the screen would turn our situation from a "lets just have a little look here and see wats going on" into a painfully simple "2+2=?" type problem for the officer. we waited for the other patrol car to show up and for the second or third cop to appear at the window on the other side, surveying the floor, the back seat, shining flashlights, and we waited for the questions we could count on coming next, the why are you here, wat you doing, where did you go, and do you mind if i look around the car a little bit.
we sat on the side of the road, or with our hands on the hood while cigarette packs and used up match books n water bottles n q tips with the tops pulled off n magazines n mcdonalds wrappers got stirred to the top of the piles in the backs of our cars by the quick, efficient pink-knuckle sausage hands of the state police, inspecting everything in the car til they found wat they knew was there somewhere in all that mess, waited for them to stop for a second and call to the other officers to come over and stand as witnesses while they read our rights, cuffed us up and led us to the back of the cruiser.
we waited for the ride to the station to be over, for papers to get processed , for the mug shots and fingerprints to get done, and behind closed eyes we waited n schemed on how to cop another couple bundles before we got home for the night. got released with some papers and a court date n went back to the spot, knowin the odds are that gettin caught twice in one day is almost never gonna happen, and copped right this time, in and out, quick and clean. and even though it killed us, this time we played it safe for once, waited til we got back home to hit the dope. we waited til we stepped inside, kicked off our shoes, down the stairs, shut the door, and unwrapped our sweet escape, got higher than high before we passed into a deep, dreamless unconsciousness, lights on, shoes on, feet hanging off the bed, door locked and a needle laying half under us on the blanket, surrounded all over by half burnt cigarette butts dropped by fingers that lost their grip halfway thru, and a orange safety cap printed into the skin of our back the next morning.
we waited for the d boy to get to our car, parked in line waitin to be served. roll down the window, quick, hand it off and go, make a clean getaway, waited til we made sure nobody was on us before we let ourselves feel safe.
we waited for payday, we waited for sisters and moms and to get home to borrow their credit card, for grandmas to need help with yard work, anxiously waitin for the pocketbook to open, hoping against hope we would get handed a few bills and the checkbook wouldnt come out to pay us instead.
we waited for the 45 minute drive to the only store that allows cash back when you buy shit with a check to end. we waited to finally be on our way to the dope and not just on the way to another one of the 500 things a hour out of the way that we had to do to get the money to get the dope before we could even begin.
we waited to find someone who would trade bundles for phone cards, for GPS's n ipods and electronic equipment, we waited for checks in the mail from somethin or other, birthdays, christmas, unemployment. we waited for our rides to get out of work to take us down, or back from coppin our shit while we waited at home. we waited for our connects to get out of jail, to get back from the city, to be done at probation, to get up in the mornin, we waited for them to put more minutes on their phones, sweatin n twisting in our seats, sittin in our car in some fast food parking lot hoping theyd remember that they told us to come up in 10 minutes and that theyd notice they hadnt got a call since then. hopin they didnt turn off the phone on purpose, that the jump out boys hadnt came thru, that they wasnt up there pushin everybody against the wall, hopin that they didnt run out and waitin to find out if they did.
we waited for court to end so we could take our hot-n-cold, sweatin, chill-shiverin asses a few blocks away and get right at 9:30 in the mornin, pushin the memory of wooden benches and the smell of munincipal carpeting to the back of our minds, ignoring the seriousness we felt just ten minutes ago while we stood in the defendant box and swore up and down we were done with that mess, waited for our mindsets go back to normal after keepin those reformed'n'redeemed fronts up for the judge, shakin off the sudden spell of confusion, of "is this really worth it anymore?" that washed over us while we stood listenin to the mess we'd be into if we didnt stop this shit before the sentencing date came up.
we waited to get to the pharmacy to get a pack of needles, cussin ourselves for only bringin one old ass set that clogged the second we tried to draw up water for the shot. we waited on line behind sniffling bronchitis-hackin babies n fat old heffas with toe fungus who waited for cough syrup antibiotics n foot cream. we waited for the pharmacist to look us up and down with that disapproving, slit-eye look , same as a cat does when its ears get all flat cuz it dont like somethin youre doin. we waited those fateful few minutes while she decided if they were just gonna happen to be all out of insulin syringes today, or give us the brown bag with the blue "i know exactly wat you up to" needle safety pamphlet inside.
we waited for a safe, or not so safe place to boot up, we waited for everyone to leave the bathroom, we waited for the people parked next to us to get out of their cars and go inside and stop staring at us. we waited for our hands to stop shaking while we unwrapped the rubber band, we waited for the stupid tape to rip open when they used the shitty shiny kind thats a bitch to slice thru to pack up the bags. we waited for the dope to pour out of the bag, we waited for it to come unstuck from the wax paper while we flicked it a million times tryin to get every last flake out into our bottle cap. we waited for it to dissolve into the water while we mixed it feelin like we were in slow motion, waited for the dope to slowly fill the syringe barrell as we drew it up, finally so close and time is going slower than it has all day in those last few seconds before liftoff.
we waited to find a vein, slappin at our arm, flexing it, squeezin our fists , prayin for one to show enough to hit it, we waited to see blood feather out into the barrel as we stuck ourselves over and over into one ruined, collapsed, scarred-ass vein after another, and finally pushed down the plunger, and then we waited, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, daaammnn..............for the rush to hit......
And after makin it thru one more day, we waited to wake up and do it all over again, the hustle, the phone calls, the drive and the tense-ass 10 minutes that could make or break us. we waited to make it off the block and back to the fringe of the city, the downtown, the area for people just passin thru, we waited for the light to change, nervously tappin our fingers on the wheel , eyeing the rearview for any of those blue and red stripes on a long white body with letters that spelled out trouble, and if we saw them we waited for em to pass, waited to see their blinker signal the opposite turn than we were making before we sighed with relief.
when we drove up the on ramp for the highway we drove careful, cautious, anxious waitin to get out of the danger zone where the hondas and fords and dodges with full black, deep tinted windows always lurking, always following a few cars behind their target, actin casual till theyd zoom in for the takedown. we waited to just get far enough away, to get back into neutral territory, to cross the invisible line somewhere up the road that would turn us from suspects into regular people just goin about our days. we felt our hearts skip a beat n go a little faster when we passed by that old enemy, the black on black charger, black rims black tints black grill, and it pulled out behind us.
and as it gained on us, not changin lanes, not goin around us, not just coincidentally headin off to some call that it got dispatched to at the same time we drove by, we waited again. Only this time it was the bad kind of waiting, the kind where you wish you could just cut to the end and spare yourself all the trouble in between, but instead you gotta sit thru it like a movie you seen a hundred times before, and tell yourself i told you so, and all you can do is wait.
So we waited for the inevitable, playing out in slow motion, knowing more than we ever knew anything in our lives up to that moment wat was coming next n not being able to do one damn thing about it, waited for the lights to flip on, red n blue light bursting off our mirrors like a explosion of fireworks set off by the TNT squad to celebrate "youre fucked" day.
when the stiff blue suit in shiny black boots stepped up to our window we reached for our papers, trying to stop our hands from shakin, handed them over almost guilty-like, feelin like a child giving back something he swore he didnt steal. and then we waited for the computer to run our plates, our licenses, our names, our records, knowing the things that would appear on the screen would turn our situation from a "lets just have a little look here and see wats going on" into a painfully simple "2+2=?" type problem for the officer. we waited for the other patrol car to show up and for the second or third cop to appear at the window on the other side, surveying the floor, the back seat, shining flashlights, and we waited for the questions we could count on coming next, the why are you here, wat you doing, where did you go, and do you mind if i look around the car a little bit.
we sat on the side of the road, or with our hands on the hood while cigarette packs and used up match books n water bottles n q tips with the tops pulled off n magazines n mcdonalds wrappers got stirred to the top of the piles in the backs of our cars by the quick, efficient pink-knuckle sausage hands of the state police, inspecting everything in the car til they found wat they knew was there somewhere in all that mess, waited for them to stop for a second and call to the other officers to come over and stand as witnesses while they read our rights, cuffed us up and led us to the back of the cruiser.
we waited for the ride to the station to be over, for papers to get processed , for the mug shots and fingerprints to get done, and behind closed eyes we waited n schemed on how to cop another couple bundles before we got home for the night. got released with some papers and a court date n went back to the spot, knowin the odds are that gettin caught twice in one day is almost never gonna happen, and copped right this time, in and out, quick and clean. and even though it killed us, this time we played it safe for once, waited til we got back home to hit the dope. we waited til we stepped inside, kicked off our shoes, down the stairs, shut the door, and unwrapped our sweet escape, got higher than high before we passed into a deep, dreamless unconsciousness, lights on, shoes on, feet hanging off the bed, door locked and a needle laying half under us on the blanket, surrounded all over by half burnt cigarette butts dropped by fingers that lost their grip halfway thru, and a orange safety cap printed into the skin of our back the next morning.
