I dont know what it is about their music, but it hits me in a way like no other music ever has. I've been listening to them for years, first found them in 1996 for their unplugged; then starting to learn more about them, more about their lead singer Layne Staley, his life style, how he was addicted to dope, etc.
listen to these guys throughout my life has helped/ruin/recovery my life in many ways. in some SICK/TWISTED ways its Layne who always made me think of what dope felt like; then again, my friends were using anyway, so I cant just blame Layne. but seeing how sick he was and hearing how he wants out but cant get out, made me think the same many time.
I always remember using in my finals months and getting my "fix" on and NOT FEELING HAPPY even after I just shot what I did. most people get that sudden rush, or euphoria but I would blast away and just feel miserable because the made I spent to "get by" and knowing I needed more later on, or maybe the next morning. sick thinking of the lies, things I've done, ways I fucked up my own life, all to feed this dope addiction. I never thought it would grab me by the balls the way it did.
Well, here I am at 5 months clean (bupe) and I look back in just awe about my life and how I lived something like that. 5 months is NOT LONG, I understand, but it still blows my mind thinking of what I was doing this time last year. This time last year I approaching my worst grabbing 2 bundles/grams a day and blasting away... taking xanny, ambien, trazadone, and whatever pills I could get my hands on. sometimes I'd get coke if I could; it became just be being a drug cabinet, but I didnt keep the drugs long, I always did EVERYTHING I had ASAP! its why id buy 1G even if I had the money for 2G's. I know I'd use the 2 asap and nod out at work; so I kept it to 1 and 1 for after. sick, right?
blows my mind thinking about my life as I listen to Layne struggles on this unplugged set.
This guy has the money for all the drugs; so they must have just completely sank him. It's not just about money, the dope truly does fuck you up. I just look at pics of many times over the years when I know I was fucked up and I can just see it in my face; it's an awkward sideways smile. my eyes PINNED SHUT and my face just look droopy. def. not a "normal" looking guy. so why would I want unlimited supply if I had the cash? I wouldnt.
listen to these guys throughout my life has helped/ruin/recovery my life in many ways. in some SICK/TWISTED ways its Layne who always made me think of what dope felt like; then again, my friends were using anyway, so I cant just blame Layne. but seeing how sick he was and hearing how he wants out but cant get out, made me think the same many time.
I always remember using in my finals months and getting my "fix" on and NOT FEELING HAPPY even after I just shot what I did. most people get that sudden rush, or euphoria but I would blast away and just feel miserable because the made I spent to "get by" and knowing I needed more later on, or maybe the next morning. sick thinking of the lies, things I've done, ways I fucked up my own life, all to feed this dope addiction. I never thought it would grab me by the balls the way it did.
Well, here I am at 5 months clean (bupe) and I look back in just awe about my life and how I lived something like that. 5 months is NOT LONG, I understand, but it still blows my mind thinking of what I was doing this time last year. This time last year I approaching my worst grabbing 2 bundles/grams a day and blasting away... taking xanny, ambien, trazadone, and whatever pills I could get my hands on. sometimes I'd get coke if I could; it became just be being a drug cabinet, but I didnt keep the drugs long, I always did EVERYTHING I had ASAP! its why id buy 1G even if I had the money for 2G's. I know I'd use the 2 asap and nod out at work; so I kept it to 1 and 1 for after. sick, right?
blows my mind thinking about my life as I listen to Layne struggles on this unplugged set.
This guy has the money for all the drugs; so they must have just completely sank him. It's not just about money, the dope truly does fuck you up. I just look at pics of many times over the years when I know I was fucked up and I can just see it in my face; it's an awkward sideways smile. my eyes PINNED SHUT and my face just look droopy. def. not a "normal" looking guy. so why would I want unlimited supply if I had the cash? I wouldnt.