rt
I appreciate all the sincere replies. This has been a diffult time, harder than quiting a GRAM of heroin a day COLD-TURKEY. I am detoxing along at 10 percent or less a week. The withdrawals are harsh, but i have not experienced temporary psychosis (a phobia of mine, given my genetics, but i havent fallen pray to pyschosis despite at the MASSIVE doses of psychedelics i have used, 2-ct-4 with 4-ho-dipt was close but i still had a sense of reality).
The VERY closest to true insanity, occured suddenely the night of last december 25 (i dont give stigma to that date), where for a short and isolated time i did loose touch with reality for almost exactly 2 hours, having quit my gram a day of good heroin a day cold-turkey. I was too out of it to dose myself with resiradol, zyorexa or IM thorazine, which is rare in and of itself. At this time, I had visions of the future, of apocolypse,, was not in my bed, and felt as though i was levitating to my bed, and visions of the post-apocoloypictic future, clock flashing 666, the temple of the anti-christ on the rock of gibralter ( odd, given not being a very religious person to being with) crucifix upside, all that and coincidentallu VIVID very awake visions of the eathquake that hit tunia 10.0 richter + that hit tunisa only half an hour after the visions ended (i am making no assuasions that i predicted anything, and i chalk it up to normal pschyotic breaks that occur when quiting heroin at the dose and abruptly as i did). It simply started and stopped completely, with no residual psyhotic epidoses to speak of (other than apocolyptic dreams, and other vivid dreams of the near/distant future). I can easily disguish reality from what is not real, which im thankfull of, as i had quite a scare. I still did had some residue mania, sort of like waking up from a DEEP sleep, which start wanning (as exibited by my unintelligable threads i made near that time). All this, aside from its intensity and detail, has not repeated since those vivid and unforgetable (I wrote a suprisingly coherent book out of fervor recently after this vision, some 400 somewhat pages, yet another symptom of residual mania, which is very uncharacteristic of me, and obviously a result of my cold turkey HIGH dose IV heroin ceasation. Such symptoms are very common of SEVERE intravenous high dose herion withdrawal, but still jaw dropping. Nevertheless (i experienced virtually every other symtom of severe IV heroin withdrawal)_
The physical heroin and quite abit of the psychological WD's are over since the past december 18, but certainly not completely over.
To stop digressing, what worries me now in my current diazepam detox, is that I know psychosis can be and element in benzo withdrawal (particularly given the shere magnitude of the dose from which i am detoxing) Any ex-benzo veterns or struggling addicts have any more insight. I know 10 percent a week DOES work, but it comes with a painfull price. I have yet to experience benzo related pyschosis, but as i continue my decent, i feel it becomes a more real possibility, and i fear the cognitive impairment of anti-psychotics (unforunately, you dont know when to use them when the time comes, as occured during my heroin detox psyhosis).
It would seem like an oxymoron, but would marijuana of aid at all or does it simply exacerbate the twitching/phsychological element (as cannabis has caused swastic reactions in the past, abset of benzo use)? Does ex-benzo veterans have insight on this? I am looking for a non--physically dependent drug too take regularly to aid the withdrawal, as well as possibly a short acting barbituate to treate accute symptomology. Any aid would be of valuable, because although the withdrawal isnt as intentse as cold turkey high dose IV smack, it is without question worse. Any ideas would be of value.....
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
