captainballs
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2004
- Messages
- 9,954
About 4 months ago I went into an inpatient rehab program for opiates and xanax, mostly because for the first time in my nearly decade long addiction I was spending easily every penny I had and more on being constantly floaty and nice.
So I always kept a lot of trams, which during the busy cycle at work would just sit there as a rarely used backup due to the fact that I usually had enough money to buy real drugs. During tough times when business is slow, which this year was from January to May, I found that I simply had to revert to the opposite schedule: tramadol as the daily dose to keep from getting sick and real drugs only when I saved up enough to buy at a reasonable price. Throwing myself into a self-managed opiate roller coaster is what basically landed me in the hospital with very poor health.
So now, things have been looking a lot better financially because I only take 300 mg of tramadol per day and nothing else - not even weed or alcohol. Still: it is a retarded waste of money considering that trams don't give me a buzz. That money could be saved, spent on a ridiculous cable tv package, used to buy prostitutes, etc.
But whenever I try to quit or even lower my dose I am literally overwhelmed by dizziness and nausea. It's not that typical opiate withdrawal where everything is real intense and bright, it's more like my body not asking my permission but just telling me that I am going to be non-functional and weak for quite a while. It reminds me of SSRI withdrawals, to be honest - the overwhelming nausea and dizziness.
I honestly don't know how to quit, and this is coming from someone who has cold turkeyed xanax from a heavy habit (twice) and sweated out many toilet sessions thanks to the big bag od oc's suddenly being empty.
So I always kept a lot of trams, which during the busy cycle at work would just sit there as a rarely used backup due to the fact that I usually had enough money to buy real drugs. During tough times when business is slow, which this year was from January to May, I found that I simply had to revert to the opposite schedule: tramadol as the daily dose to keep from getting sick and real drugs only when I saved up enough to buy at a reasonable price. Throwing myself into a self-managed opiate roller coaster is what basically landed me in the hospital with very poor health.
So now, things have been looking a lot better financially because I only take 300 mg of tramadol per day and nothing else - not even weed or alcohol. Still: it is a retarded waste of money considering that trams don't give me a buzz. That money could be saved, spent on a ridiculous cable tv package, used to buy prostitutes, etc.
But whenever I try to quit or even lower my dose I am literally overwhelmed by dizziness and nausea. It's not that typical opiate withdrawal where everything is real intense and bright, it's more like my body not asking my permission but just telling me that I am going to be non-functional and weak for quite a while. It reminds me of SSRI withdrawals, to be honest - the overwhelming nausea and dizziness.
I honestly don't know how to quit, and this is coming from someone who has cold turkeyed xanax from a heavy habit (twice) and sweated out many toilet sessions thanks to the big bag od oc's suddenly being empty.
