plazma
Bluelighter
Nobody’s quite sure where they’re going… but one day you wake up in his world… Who is he? Nobody knows… but from that day forth you’re pursued, driven… haunted. He’s the nameless impulse of panic you have when you’re robbed of self-assurance, left naked. Fucked with… I don’t know when I woke up in this world… but you know it’s a game… everyone knows it’s a game… He’s just one step behind you… lurking in that dark alley of your soul… teeth gleaming in the moonlight.
There is no escape from him…
Once he has you in his grip… you can’t get away… never… while those white fingers dig deeper into your flesh, tearing shreds out of the very being of you… he knows you… and he is moulded from the air you breathe… your own personal demon, set to destroy you… Oh he toys with you, pushing you from here… but you will play his games whether you want to or not… But one day you’ll wake up in his world… that’s for sure… there’s something about his world that fucks with your mind, it’s almost like the real world… but then he shows you why it’s different… Subtlety… it’s changed from that which you knew… not the same… just the flicker in the corner of your eye… the subtle change in the air, taste, smell, touch… you can’t escape from his world… Nobody escapes from his world… harsher… more metallic… less forgiving… but it knows when you’re trapped… locked within its essence…
Death is nothing to this living hell, if there’s a hell maybe this is what it’s like… the touch of a loved one is false… fake… LIARS… you can see the glint in their eyes when they look straight through you… nothing can help you now… Maybe you’ll wake up the next morning, maybe not… where can you turn… psychologists would lock you up… They cannot understand the slow torture that is life within his games… you are a plaything… he reminds you of that… when you feel you have the strength to confront it… him… you’re torn away again… Sowing your soul with the seeds of hatred… evil… imprisoned within your own mind for the eternity of life… There is no happiness… just falsehood and pain…
Everything looks flat, like a moving circle of scenery… it changes, people walk past, you can’t really touch them… he ensures that comfort is denied… Scorching your nerve-endings with ice… you seethe inside… as you die… gradually… you try to avoid the inevitable… you are his creature… and you become like him… as the last aspects of your humanity are ripped away… you become one with him… You cannot understand what it is to BE hatred… to be grief… rage… nothing will free you now… and he lets you see… in glimpses just to tease you… what he has made you… what your life is… is not… will never be…
The touch of someone you loved… there’s something that stops them from realising that you are gone… torn from them… see the glaze in your own eyes… but when they touch you… it’s hollow… there’s no emotion… can’t you feel it? The grey space of deadened pain… agony… killed by yourself but still alive… his world changed… or are you changed?
How can you escape something so complex as a world that you live in… if you die… it furthers his purpose… Every way you come down… every ending that you arrive at… is a victory for him… and if he tires of you… there is nothing… Just the continued blank hell of what is not your life… what is the greying and dulling of senses… removal of emotion… disassociation of what? Your soul no longer exists, or maybe you are your soul? Do you exist? You don’t know if anything exists… this complex reality of stupidity… day… after day… after day… he shows you no remorse… and you are greeted at the dawning of every false flat grey day of torture by him… his power is absolute…
When he first begins to grip your soul… you feel nothing… no worry… no struggle… it’s a thing which creeps, monstrous in its invisibility… Into the deepest recesses of your psyche… you don’t notice… that’s the way he works… you don’t see what happens to you… as your fall further from your life… the walls of time streaking past as you fall faster yet into his world…
Then you wake up… and the horror begins… the second that you awake… something isn’t right… you feel the air moving in your throat… tasting flat… bitter… metallic… and the touch of your bed feels muted and removed of any warmth… it’s cold and metallic… his world… You open your eyes and the scream begins… everything is flat… shapes are still shapes… but everything that you found interesting is gone… appreciation… gone… enjoyment… gone… Everything is changed… different and ugly… dislocated from reality… but he hasn’t finished yet…
You can’t feel happiness or any joy… those emotions don’t exist in his world… the subtle pain of small deaths… guilty as charged… no way to fight… only continue forwards… He lets you know just how far you have slid… flashbacks of your life to torture you… and those you loved… not really there… but their copies… dull… joyless…
Eternal torment… now… for I have become his creature forever… no longer his toy… but I am one with him… his evil face is mine… mirrored in my torment of existence… Hate me… kill me… fuck me… raped from what I was… nothing left but my twisted shell… and he shows me things still… because for eternity… I am doomed to repeat your sins upon you… I am torment… I am hatred… I am suffering… I am grief… I am greed… I am you… and you will be me… but not until I say so… you will suffer first… and then… then… we will be one… forever…
-------------- The End ---------------
I wrote this at 3am in the morning... yes... i'm better now...
------------------
[ C E N S O R E D ]
There is no escape from him…
Once he has you in his grip… you can’t get away… never… while those white fingers dig deeper into your flesh, tearing shreds out of the very being of you… he knows you… and he is moulded from the air you breathe… your own personal demon, set to destroy you… Oh he toys with you, pushing you from here… but you will play his games whether you want to or not… But one day you’ll wake up in his world… that’s for sure… there’s something about his world that fucks with your mind, it’s almost like the real world… but then he shows you why it’s different… Subtlety… it’s changed from that which you knew… not the same… just the flicker in the corner of your eye… the subtle change in the air, taste, smell, touch… you can’t escape from his world… Nobody escapes from his world… harsher… more metallic… less forgiving… but it knows when you’re trapped… locked within its essence…
Death is nothing to this living hell, if there’s a hell maybe this is what it’s like… the touch of a loved one is false… fake… LIARS… you can see the glint in their eyes when they look straight through you… nothing can help you now… Maybe you’ll wake up the next morning, maybe not… where can you turn… psychologists would lock you up… They cannot understand the slow torture that is life within his games… you are a plaything… he reminds you of that… when you feel you have the strength to confront it… him… you’re torn away again… Sowing your soul with the seeds of hatred… evil… imprisoned within your own mind for the eternity of life… There is no happiness… just falsehood and pain…
Everything looks flat, like a moving circle of scenery… it changes, people walk past, you can’t really touch them… he ensures that comfort is denied… Scorching your nerve-endings with ice… you seethe inside… as you die… gradually… you try to avoid the inevitable… you are his creature… and you become like him… as the last aspects of your humanity are ripped away… you become one with him… You cannot understand what it is to BE hatred… to be grief… rage… nothing will free you now… and he lets you see… in glimpses just to tease you… what he has made you… what your life is… is not… will never be…
The touch of someone you loved… there’s something that stops them from realising that you are gone… torn from them… see the glaze in your own eyes… but when they touch you… it’s hollow… there’s no emotion… can’t you feel it? The grey space of deadened pain… agony… killed by yourself but still alive… his world changed… or are you changed?
How can you escape something so complex as a world that you live in… if you die… it furthers his purpose… Every way you come down… every ending that you arrive at… is a victory for him… and if he tires of you… there is nothing… Just the continued blank hell of what is not your life… what is the greying and dulling of senses… removal of emotion… disassociation of what? Your soul no longer exists, or maybe you are your soul? Do you exist? You don’t know if anything exists… this complex reality of stupidity… day… after day… after day… he shows you no remorse… and you are greeted at the dawning of every false flat grey day of torture by him… his power is absolute…
When he first begins to grip your soul… you feel nothing… no worry… no struggle… it’s a thing which creeps, monstrous in its invisibility… Into the deepest recesses of your psyche… you don’t notice… that’s the way he works… you don’t see what happens to you… as your fall further from your life… the walls of time streaking past as you fall faster yet into his world…
Then you wake up… and the horror begins… the second that you awake… something isn’t right… you feel the air moving in your throat… tasting flat… bitter… metallic… and the touch of your bed feels muted and removed of any warmth… it’s cold and metallic… his world… You open your eyes and the scream begins… everything is flat… shapes are still shapes… but everything that you found interesting is gone… appreciation… gone… enjoyment… gone… Everything is changed… different and ugly… dislocated from reality… but he hasn’t finished yet…
You can’t feel happiness or any joy… those emotions don’t exist in his world… the subtle pain of small deaths… guilty as charged… no way to fight… only continue forwards… He lets you know just how far you have slid… flashbacks of your life to torture you… and those you loved… not really there… but their copies… dull… joyless…
Eternal torment… now… for I have become his creature forever… no longer his toy… but I am one with him… his evil face is mine… mirrored in my torment of existence… Hate me… kill me… fuck me… raped from what I was… nothing left but my twisted shell… and he shows me things still… because for eternity… I am doomed to repeat your sins upon you… I am torment… I am hatred… I am suffering… I am grief… I am greed… I am you… and you will be me… but not until I say so… you will suffer first… and then… then… we will be one… forever…
-------------- The End ---------------
I wrote this at 3am in the morning... yes... i'm better now...
------------------
[ C E N S O R E D ]
