gordonliddy
Bluelighter
I am asking your opinions. When I first got here I thought I knew a lot about drugs. Surprise? I actually know a below average amount about drugs compared to the regulars. This was so refreshing for me because it was fun to be the new guy and everything seemed really sparkly.
I was very hesitant to help opiate addicts (and to a lesser extent, meth addicts or whatever) because I had been humbled. And here is something else - tough love.
I am a firm believer in tough love, but here is the thing about it. You have to use it sparingly. I have seen people (the word for them is sadists) who love picking on others, and when confronted they will say something along the lines of, "Hey, you have no right to confront me, I am giving out tough love!"
"Beware of those in whom the will to punish is strong" --Friedrich Nietzshe
So I rarely end up giving out tough love because it's rarely warranted. I'm also of the opinion that it's tough for me to tell what you guys need over the internet. Experience has made me cautious. (william friedkin reference)
But nonetheless when I pop in to the dark side, I see two traits more than most others that - on their face should stop you not only from being successful at sobriety, it should stop you from being successful at about anything. What that means is that if this applies to you and you think that it's something that you would rather worry about later in life, I'm here to warn you that you probably won't be successful (even at learning to ride a skateboard) until you can spend time on these things and move past them. That's what fundamentalism is. If you build your house on a pile of sand, next time that it rains your house will end up a pile of rubble.
After much pre-amble:
Inferiority Complex - Competitive people are tough in general, both on themselves and those around them. But those who have an inferiority complex will struggle in particular because you are losing 20 to 22% of your brain power worrying that someone is better than you or someone is laughing at you. How can you kick drugs without giving 100%. I'm sorry but you will struggle if you let other people in your head.
Thin Skin - We live in a curious age where sensitive people are lauded, instead of shamed. Taking offense isn't a sign that you're better than those around you, it's a sign that you've lost control over your temper. If you're sensitive, you're bypassing the opportunity to toughen up. This is a mistake because as you toughen up you not only become better at ignoring nuisances, but also at dealing with all inconveniences. It is not my advice to ignore insults, but if you take that kind of stuff personally you are already letting people into your head. Why not become tough? Tough people are the salt of the earth and can be there for those around them. On the other hand, if harsh words upset you then you will be a burden to everyone else as you become outraged and cease functioning like an adult.
Now I did ask for advice so what I want to know is, is there a way that I should be approaching addicts? Generally I feel more comfortable letting those who have been there do the preaching because that's what someone suffering seems to want to hear. I'm happier as a cheerleader for you when you start to make it and achieve lift off. I am generally happy when I see one of the gang here hit a week or a month of sobriety. May not seem like much to you, but it does something possible for me.
dedicated to @pixies+
offtopic - holy cow! Just realized I haven't vaped anything in a week! Go me!
I was very hesitant to help opiate addicts (and to a lesser extent, meth addicts or whatever) because I had been humbled. And here is something else - tough love.
I am a firm believer in tough love, but here is the thing about it. You have to use it sparingly. I have seen people (the word for them is sadists) who love picking on others, and when confronted they will say something along the lines of, "Hey, you have no right to confront me, I am giving out tough love!"
"Beware of those in whom the will to punish is strong" --Friedrich Nietzshe
So I rarely end up giving out tough love because it's rarely warranted. I'm also of the opinion that it's tough for me to tell what you guys need over the internet. Experience has made me cautious. (william friedkin reference)
But nonetheless when I pop in to the dark side, I see two traits more than most others that - on their face should stop you not only from being successful at sobriety, it should stop you from being successful at about anything. What that means is that if this applies to you and you think that it's something that you would rather worry about later in life, I'm here to warn you that you probably won't be successful (even at learning to ride a skateboard) until you can spend time on these things and move past them. That's what fundamentalism is. If you build your house on a pile of sand, next time that it rains your house will end up a pile of rubble.
After much pre-amble:
Inferiority Complex - Competitive people are tough in general, both on themselves and those around them. But those who have an inferiority complex will struggle in particular because you are losing 20 to 22% of your brain power worrying that someone is better than you or someone is laughing at you. How can you kick drugs without giving 100%. I'm sorry but you will struggle if you let other people in your head.
Thin Skin - We live in a curious age where sensitive people are lauded, instead of shamed. Taking offense isn't a sign that you're better than those around you, it's a sign that you've lost control over your temper. If you're sensitive, you're bypassing the opportunity to toughen up. This is a mistake because as you toughen up you not only become better at ignoring nuisances, but also at dealing with all inconveniences. It is not my advice to ignore insults, but if you take that kind of stuff personally you are already letting people into your head. Why not become tough? Tough people are the salt of the earth and can be there for those around them. On the other hand, if harsh words upset you then you will be a burden to everyone else as you become outraged and cease functioning like an adult.
Now I did ask for advice so what I want to know is, is there a way that I should be approaching addicts? Generally I feel more comfortable letting those who have been there do the preaching because that's what someone suffering seems to want to hear. I'm happier as a cheerleader for you when you start to make it and achieve lift off. I am generally happy when I see one of the gang here hit a week or a month of sobriety. May not seem like much to you, but it does something possible for me.
dedicated to @pixies+
offtopic - holy cow! Just realized I haven't vaped anything in a week! Go me!
