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Totally lost. Complete lack of love in my life slowly killing me.

LSDMDMA&AMP

LSDMDMA&AMP

Bluelighter
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Feb 6, 2010
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Hi, i am a 22 year old male. Ive only ever done anything with one female in my entire life. Shes the only girl i ever kissed, had sex with, dated, everything. I met her online, we met irl when i was 18 and we began dating. We were together for 2.5 years but it was kinda a distance relationship even though she lived only an hour and 15 mins away. She left me because of my heroin use 2 years ago. I was trying to win her back for the longest time but she moved on, and i am now accepting that she's gone. I havent had sex in 2 years. and its been 2 years since Ive really kissed anybody or cuddled with anybody, its been 2 years since ive had any kind of physical activity with the opposite sex at all is what i am trying to say.
I am really frustrated with my lack of love in my life. I also really struggle with having few friends/not getting out much, that and the lack of love are really putting me in a dark place as of late.
I struggle with the fact that my ex is the only female ive ever done anything with. It eats away at me and i feel so ashamed and embarassed about it and it makes me scared that i wont be able to have any success with women. Any thoughts anyone?
Theres also one other thing that really bothers me in my thoughts and that is being self conscious of my sexual abilities. I was terribly self conscious when id have sex with my ex, because i couldnt last very long a lot of the time, like it would be over super embarassingly quick and id beat myself up and feel ashamed and id always ask her if it bothered her that i came too quickly. She always said no, its fine, youre good enough, but i still always felt embarassed about it and id always feel down worried that she didnt get enough out of it.
Id always worry that i wasnt fucking her good enough and it would really bother me. How can i best reassure myself that if i find a partner, that i shouldnt be so self conscious?

This lack of love in my life is really bothering me and i cannot take it anymore. I really want to get to start having sex again and find a girlfriend and that but i need some imput from you guys on where i go from here. I feel so lost, and i dont even know where to begin with finding/meeting someone to ask out in the first place. My relationship/sex history being so small really gets me down and makes me feel inadequate/like a loser and idk how to deal with those feelings, could anyone help me with dealing with things like that? I just feel very depressed and lonely because its been so long and i am really self conscious in every aspect of dealing with girls. Im scared that i will be stuck like this forever.
Sorry for the long post, plz read and commemt.
 
I was a virgin until 24. It got me down for awhile too.. that's hormones and social expectations for you. Don't beat yourself up about it.. the body is just telling you that you need to fuck, or rather it wants to fuck..

Even the guys who are getting laid at your age, most of its bravado, bro talk and bullshit. You're barely out of your teenage years, and really I don't think anyone is an adult until at least 25! Cut yourself some slack and don't pressure yourself.. that will help you and it will also make you appear less needy to any prospective partner.

Forget about the sex for the moment. Get yourself some girl friends first and just immerse yourself in their presence (don't get roped into shopping though haha), and some dude friends too. Build your social scene first, then worry about the sex.. the more you get out and engage in that sphere the better you will feel about yourself, the more you will grow, and naturally by numbers eventually you'll get lucky or you'll get to the point where you are naturally confident enough that women will be attracted to your magnetism.

People get self-conscious during sex.. it happens and takes time to embrace. People I thought were confident (and appeared so) were just as self-conscious as others during sex, so say'eth my lady friends. Appearances can be deceiving. Point is, stop beating yourself up.. there's plenty of tards out there who will do that for you.. be your own support. Get angry, get motivated, and do something. Eat, sleep, exercise. Small steps. Build yourself up.

At 24 I felt similar to you probably. Was smoking lots and doing nothing except working a shit job. 4 years later, got a degree and masters, about to start working, had a long term relationship and some fun times besides.. a lot can happen in a short period of time, especially if you stop feeling sorry for yourself and start kicking some ass. Good luck :)
 
Don't sweat it bro, it happens to the best of us man. I've had the same problem in the past when I was just way too excited but I figured out a little trick, eat the bird buddy! Lol. Trust me brother, don't be afraid of that shit just get down there and do ur thing man. U can munch til the end of time, and she'll be very happy with that. Search online for some techniques and whatnot and you'll be good. It's not quite as simple as just going down and doing whatever but there a whole world of knowledge online bro so definitely check it out, you'll be very happy u did. Do everything SS said too, work out, put yourself in a position to meet women, make some new friends etc.
No need to be ashamed or embarrassed dude trust me.
Also there's always Viagra bro , that shit makes u into a fucking champion man, I promise. You can cum and still just keep going and going like the damn energizer bunny rabbit, before u know it you'll be a fuckin legend bro. I hope we were able to help u out a little bit partner. Your still young with the prime years coming up bro so don't sweat it man, good things happen to good people and u seem like a decent dude so I'm confident you'll score when the time is right. Good luck brother! Stay confident, even if ur acting, women love a confident man.
 
Im in a kind off similar situation myself. im 28 at the time. Been around a bit in the past but now that i should be in my prime im missing out on all the action. I also have no friend who go out or any other place were you naturaly meet girls. I been in a bar 3 times this year. This bothers me a lot becouse i used to be a very social and charismatic guy but i been so depressed over the last few years i have become very closed and dont like being around people so much anymore. Wish sucks! I compare to my old self all the time and feel im just a shadow of who i was. My confidence and self worth is totaly demolished after some shit that happend with a girl and im still trying to recover. To me, had it and lost it is worse then to never had it. But if you ask someone who never had it they probably say something like "at least you had it" and i cant really argue with that. Im sure i will get it back some day, i just have to let time heal my wounds. The worst thing you can do in any situation is to give up. Never let that happen! Im sure you going to experience a lot of great times in the future just hang in there ;)
 
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Love is the most important thing in life. Without it, life isn't worth living. Go out and find somebody.
 
if you're still using heroin then giving that up is by a fucking country lightyear the best thing you can do (you need to, seriously) if you wan't to get into another decent relationship.

sure, junkies get together, but it never ends well.

tell us a bit more about your heroin use.

heroin addicts are selfish (because they will do quite bad things to get their stuff), they lie, they either are too stoned to fuck or they ejaculate in seconds when in withdrawals, as well as having many MANY many other unattractive qualities.
 
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to quote trainspotting, most junkies are closet romantics.

if you're clean then i apologise and i'd like to help with other advice.
 
Statistically speaking, men handle breakups worse than women. Remember that next time you're giving a girl flowers.
 
I feel like she still holds some sort of feelings towards you, but I cannot say for sure. Keep your head up bro!
 
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smackydowners said:
if you're still using heroin then giving that up is by a fucking country lightyear the best thing you can do (you need to, seriously) if you wan't to get into another decent relationship.

sure, junkies get together, but it never ends well.

tell us a bit more about your heroin use.

heroin addicts are selfish (because they will do quite bad things to get their stuff), they lie, they either are too stoned to fuck or they ejaculate in seconds when in withdrawals, as well as having many MANY many other unattractive qualities.
Click to expand...

sounds like ur projecting.
 
I am sooo depressed. My bf is locked up and I cheated on him. It was an accident, plus it made me cry, cut myself, and stay high as one can. Like I have ran from law that wasn't even after me... I don't know what to do. He says he is done and doesn't want nothing else to do with me, but I was honest with him, and we have been together for a year, lost a baby. I don't know how to handle it
 
Im working on SF to give you another chance. Just hold on an Ill see what I can do brother.
 
Its fine you dont need to talk to her on my behalf. Appreciated though.
Ive been off heroin for a while now.
My problem is i really dont have friends to go out with.
I am working on getting a job so i can get a car when i get my license back but its very depressing. I dont know where to begin.
 
get a job, from the job comes some control over your life and money.

dates sometimes work and sometimes dont but they cost some amount of money nearly every time.

get the job sorted and focus on that and getting your mood better. get into excercise definitely best way to get over opiate blues/cravings for booze
 
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