LorDHaZarD
Bluelighter
This is my first work. I wrote it to vent some really strong emotions I’ve had recently. Hope you enjoy it.
Torn-
My first love.
Sweet, beautiful, caring, and understanding.
She was the first person I have truly loved
Things couldn’t have been more perfect.
The thought of seeing her filled my stomach with butterflies
Just thinking of her made me so happy.
I would have done anything to be with her
As our story unfolded, and time passed,
We grew distant, I could never figure out why.
We both knew that it would be a long distance relationship
I thought our love would keep us together
She was so young; Did she ever understand how I felt for her?
Why was her faith in our love so thing,
That she would stop caring for me over such a short time.
After two weeks of loneliness,
After two weeks of trying to talk to her,
After two weeks of dreaming about seeing her.
Tears, crying harder than I ever had before
It was finally over… “I don’t know if I still love you”
Hoping for the day when I could come home to see her
And everything would be perfect again.
Then I met her,
Someone, whom from the day we met,
Showered me with love and affection.
She knew about you and what we had,
And knew I would have to make a choice,
Yet still her love for me was unwavering.
I wished that I could return the same amount of love.
I progressed with caution,
I still had faith in what we had, and that everything would be ok.
As you continued to push me away,
I got more and more attached to her.
Always holding back,
Always remembering what we had
Always loving you.
Through another heartfelt conversation with you
I knew it was true, I had to move on,
But why was I still so attached?
I started to focus my love on her more and more
We did so many things together, had so much fun.
I was scared of her commitment at first
But in time I began to feel the same way
I am just now starting to love her in the way that she loves me
Why did it take me so long to see her true beauty?
Our bond is one that will stand the test of time
I know that she will never leave me
I know I mean more than the world to her
I know that she will Always be there for me, and never doubt us
I know she will never hurt me.
Just when I thought I had almost gotten over you,
We talked again on Friday.
We both wanted to see each other.
I needed to see you, to get some closure
Not having seen you for 10 weeks now,
Never having the chance to see the look in your eyes,
One last time… Give you one last chance to say you love me.
What were you trying to do?
What happened to just being friends
Why are you trying to tear me away from her?
You know I’m not the kind of person who would cheat
Do you realize how scared I was when you said that?
Scared, because I wasn’t sure what I would have done.
Why would you do that to me?
If you want me back.
If you weren’t trying to ruin what her and I have.
You and I both know that we would have to be friends first.
You know that I fear it will be the same story again,
Once I go back to school… will you still love me?
I need to have proof that you wont hurt me again
I need to hear you say, “I love you”, and mean it.
Do you realize how torn I am right now?
On one hand there is you,
My fist love, so passionate, so perfect, so beautiful
If it could only be as great as it was in the beginning
If you and your ability to love could only mature.
However you don’t realize how you hurt me.
I am so frightened it will end up like that again.
On the other hand there is her,
Why cant I find her as beautiful and free willed as you?
However I know I need to look past this small flaw
Because I know things can be better for me with her
She will never hurt me as you had,
I do not want to hurt her as you did me.
Because I love her.
Torn…
To be with the woman who stole my heart
But who has and would tear my heart emotionally
And whom I could never see
Or,
To be with the woman whom my love is still growing for
Who would never hurt me, and would do anything for me.
-Dave
----------------
*sigh… * I’m not sure I really know what to do. My heart resides with my first, and probably always will. But I know I will be happier in the long run with the second. The fact that she tried to tear me away from her like she did proves it. I don’t know… I think I am fearful of commitment. I wish I could have the best of both worlds, but I know that will never happen. I just need to stick with it on the second because we love each other, and be friends with the first because she is a wonderful person, but I know that wont jive too well with either of them. *Sigh…. * … anyway... one damn long poem for my first. I kind of like this though, clears the mind. I’m sure there will be more to come.
-Dave
Torn-
My first love.
Sweet, beautiful, caring, and understanding.
She was the first person I have truly loved
Things couldn’t have been more perfect.
The thought of seeing her filled my stomach with butterflies
Just thinking of her made me so happy.
I would have done anything to be with her
As our story unfolded, and time passed,
We grew distant, I could never figure out why.
We both knew that it would be a long distance relationship
I thought our love would keep us together
She was so young; Did she ever understand how I felt for her?
Why was her faith in our love so thing,
That she would stop caring for me over such a short time.
After two weeks of loneliness,
After two weeks of trying to talk to her,
After two weeks of dreaming about seeing her.
Tears, crying harder than I ever had before
It was finally over… “I don’t know if I still love you”
Hoping for the day when I could come home to see her
And everything would be perfect again.
Then I met her,
Someone, whom from the day we met,
Showered me with love and affection.
She knew about you and what we had,
And knew I would have to make a choice,
Yet still her love for me was unwavering.
I wished that I could return the same amount of love.
I progressed with caution,
I still had faith in what we had, and that everything would be ok.
As you continued to push me away,
I got more and more attached to her.
Always holding back,
Always remembering what we had
Always loving you.
Through another heartfelt conversation with you
I knew it was true, I had to move on,
But why was I still so attached?
I started to focus my love on her more and more
We did so many things together, had so much fun.
I was scared of her commitment at first
But in time I began to feel the same way
I am just now starting to love her in the way that she loves me
Why did it take me so long to see her true beauty?
Our bond is one that will stand the test of time
I know that she will never leave me
I know I mean more than the world to her
I know that she will Always be there for me, and never doubt us
I know she will never hurt me.
Just when I thought I had almost gotten over you,
We talked again on Friday.
We both wanted to see each other.
I needed to see you, to get some closure
Not having seen you for 10 weeks now,
Never having the chance to see the look in your eyes,
One last time… Give you one last chance to say you love me.
What were you trying to do?
What happened to just being friends
Why are you trying to tear me away from her?
You know I’m not the kind of person who would cheat
Do you realize how scared I was when you said that?
Scared, because I wasn’t sure what I would have done.
Why would you do that to me?
If you want me back.
If you weren’t trying to ruin what her and I have.
You and I both know that we would have to be friends first.
You know that I fear it will be the same story again,
Once I go back to school… will you still love me?
I need to have proof that you wont hurt me again
I need to hear you say, “I love you”, and mean it.
Do you realize how torn I am right now?
On one hand there is you,
My fist love, so passionate, so perfect, so beautiful
If it could only be as great as it was in the beginning
If you and your ability to love could only mature.
However you don’t realize how you hurt me.
I am so frightened it will end up like that again.
On the other hand there is her,
Why cant I find her as beautiful and free willed as you?
However I know I need to look past this small flaw
Because I know things can be better for me with her
She will never hurt me as you had,
I do not want to hurt her as you did me.
Because I love her.
Torn…
To be with the woman who stole my heart
But who has and would tear my heart emotionally
And whom I could never see
Or,
To be with the woman whom my love is still growing for
Who would never hurt me, and would do anything for me.
-Dave
----------------
*sigh… * I’m not sure I really know what to do. My heart resides with my first, and probably always will. But I know I will be happier in the long run with the second. The fact that she tried to tear me away from her like she did proves it. I don’t know… I think I am fearful of commitment. I wish I could have the best of both worlds, but I know that will never happen. I just need to stick with it on the second because we love each other, and be friends with the first because she is a wonderful person, but I know that wont jive too well with either of them. *Sigh…. * … anyway... one damn long poem for my first. I kind of like this though, clears the mind. I’m sure there will be more to come.
-Dave
