Too numb to feel drugs?

Since I've been so fucking stressed lately, I've noticed it takes much more drugs than usual for me to even feel them. I drank 151 last night and smoked pot. Didn't really feel drunk. On new years eve, I was so numb it took alot to get me fucked up. I take a ton of benadryl regularily now to take the edge off, cause I can't afford to be buying benzos and can't get a script yet. I'm on 2 darvocet, 3 benadryl, small dose of dxm, 2 energy drinks, and I'm sleep deprived. A month ago before I became homeless I would be fucked up right now. But no, I feel normal. On dxm now, I feel normal. On everything almost, I feel normal. I hate being so fucking stressed to the point I can't even feel emotion the way I used to. I guess its a defense, coping mechanism....but shit. It sucks at the same time. I don't know where "I" went. I have my days where I'm paranoid and anxious as fuck, then I have my "fuck everything, I don't care what you think of me" days. I like those. Like now. I've been so numb on days like this...I don't even know why I'm still alive. I guess its my body's way of dealing.