Well I've exhausted the thread I started in TDS forum. It has fallen far out of site so I well post my first blog. Its 1am right now and I can't sleep to well. I'm coming off of an SSRI right now, and it sucks ass. My life is a total fucking mess right now. I am experiencing withdraws from the SSRIs which is somewhat unexpected. Once I started withdrawing I got suspicious and looked it up on this site, google and wiki. Sure enough it's withdraw. That's funny too because I've spent most of my grown life chasing one chemical or another and have never until now experienced any kind of withdraw. It sucks too. I'm getting constant brain zaps. They are far more extreme then any brain zaps I have ever had from any MDMA binge. What the fuck right? This chemical that a Doctor prescribed me has fucked me up worse than any illegal substance I ever put in my body has!
Back track a month or so. I found my self emotionally out of control. Really I always have been and probably still will be till the day I die. Around a month ago I started to care about it though. I tried to get help and it seems to have been in vein. As of the start of my depressed suicidal rant I have found out that things are not as they seemed to be for me and my wife. She didn't cheat or nothing like that. We just have some things that we don't seem the same and it has been effecting us for awhile and now she and I have fallen apart. I could have sworn that this would never happen but it has. The kids left with her. I am so empty and lonely inside right now. I'm not sleeping at night, I cry all the time, and to make things worse I can not stand crying.
I'm falling apart fast. At times Im starting to scare myself. My depression becomes overwhelming. The only thing I can do that seems to be positive is dance in my living room. Fuck Im starting to cry right now! What the fuck! I hate this. Well at least I have met someone through this site that has taken the time to actually listen to me whine through text messaging. Thanks homie it means a lot.
Right now as my personal quote says I just want to dance until all the pain disappears. I want to go to an event and dance all night. I want to get lost in the music and the spectacle. I want to be immersed in the whole psychedelic techno world. There is an event in my area on Saturday, but the car was in my wife's name. Fuck another knife in my heart.
Well then my peeps, I think I'm done with this, my first blog. I'm glad that I found this site though. Really its the only life I have right now HAHA sucks to be me
See y'all on the other side when I make it through.
Much Love,
Rollz
Back track a month or so. I found my self emotionally out of control. Really I always have been and probably still will be till the day I die. Around a month ago I started to care about it though. I tried to get help and it seems to have been in vein. As of the start of my depressed suicidal rant I have found out that things are not as they seemed to be for me and my wife. She didn't cheat or nothing like that. We just have some things that we don't seem the same and it has been effecting us for awhile and now she and I have fallen apart. I could have sworn that this would never happen but it has. The kids left with her. I am so empty and lonely inside right now. I'm not sleeping at night, I cry all the time, and to make things worse I can not stand crying.
I'm falling apart fast. At times Im starting to scare myself. My depression becomes overwhelming. The only thing I can do that seems to be positive is dance in my living room. Fuck Im starting to cry right now! What the fuck! I hate this. Well at least I have met someone through this site that has taken the time to actually listen to me whine through text messaging. Thanks homie it means a lot.
Right now as my personal quote says I just want to dance until all the pain disappears. I want to go to an event and dance all night. I want to get lost in the music and the spectacle. I want to be immersed in the whole psychedelic techno world. There is an event in my area on Saturday, but the car was in my wife's name. Fuck another knife in my heart.
Well then my peeps, I think I'm done with this, my first blog. I'm glad that I found this site though. Really its the only life I have right now HAHA sucks to be me
See y'all on the other side when I make it through.Much Love,
Rollz
