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To anyone struggling with opiate addiction right now

Yeah I remember right before I quit I was thinking “wow I really fucked myself for life and I’ll never be the same ..” I just wanted to feel normal again , not wake up feeling sick , not need something to feel happy or have energy..
It’s a process but it does get better . I got off pills but I’m still doing Kratom so not totally clean but I don’t feel like I’m living a double life or feel ashamed from the stigma of being a “drug addict “ anymore . Only my husband knew about the pills but the weight and shame of it always made me feel like a liar around friends and family ..
 
Larimar said:
Yeah I remember right before I quit I was thinking “wow I really fucked myself for life and I’ll never be the same ..” I just wanted to feel normal again , not wake up feeling sick , not need something to feel happy or have energy..
It’s a process but it does get better . I got off pills but I’m still doing Kratom so not totally clean but I don’t feel like I’m living a double life or feel ashamed from the stigma of being a “drug addict “ anymore . Only my husband knew about the pills but the weight and shame of it always made me feel like a liar around friends and family ..
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Opiates make you feel like crap about yourself. Once the euphoria dies away you're just left with basically nothing lol. Even if your life is great the depression seems to never go away. Some of that is mental and physical as well.. I couldn't figure out how to cope anymore with it in my life. Tapering off kratom too.

I don't think I would have been able to stop if the quarantine did not raise the price of oxy to double/triple what it used to be. I'd rather be clean (with some chemical assist here and there from other stuff). It is the loneliest drug you'll ever meet. You'll be surrounded by people who love you but not even notice them. They really did help me through some impossible times but the price is never going down, so it'll always be the good ole days ;)
 
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