Tips & tipping general discussion

[michael]

What if you can tell that it was the servers fault your order turned out wrong?

Say you made an easy deletion, like no cheese on a burger that typically comes with cheese. You order the burger, she writes it all down, then you say "without cheese," and you can tell she jotted it all the way at the bottom in the corner. Lo and behold, your burger comes with cheese. And it's not a matter of preference--It's a matter of allergy. Sure, you could've ordered a burger that doesn't typically come with cheese, but you wanted the other fixin's. What then? Or, ultimately, was it your fault for saying the "no cheese" bit last?

it has happened to me often - i would never, ever order a cheeseburger and plenty of times i have gotten one with cheese. sometimes i write it off as an honest mistake, depending on the server's reaction to me asking for a new burger. arguing with me that i ordered a cheeseburger or bringing me back a burger that i can tell the cheese was just scraped off is a pretty clear indication to me that you don't deserve a decent tip.

 

[alasdairm]

i have learned that people who are shitty, tight-wad tippers won't be swayed by discussion and, very generally speaking, don't give a shit about anybody but themselves....

that's fine. if stiffing a server a few bucks makes them feel great, it's their money and they're entitled to spend (or not spend) it however they like.

i console myself with the fact that they will surely be reincarnated as a server who earns $3.00 an hour, depends on tips to live and, in the next life, has to serve only people (like themselves) who don't tip

alasdair

 

[captainballs]

I'm a sucker for attractive male servers, just because I like the idea of a man serving me food and giving me his entire person. I'm likely to tip a maladjusted male waiter more just because I like to pretend that they get pain out of serving me, or that they are pretending to be in pain for my enjoyment which is even more satisfying because the dishonesty takes more energy. I find female waiters to be good sports - typically I tip 20% flat because I respect the hustle. Get it, girl. But if the girl is totally off and hates her job, and starts taking it out on a gangster with that attitude, I will absolutely stiff the entire bill. I've done it before and I'll do it again. Getting out of the restaurant, into the car, and disappearing into the shadows is a pretty powerful rush and is worth a barrel of belly-laughs in the afterglow.

 

[michael]

i have learned that people who are shitty, tight-wad tippers won't be swayed by discussion and, very generally speaking, don't give a shit about anybody but themselves....

on the flip side, i have learned that the people who believe that servers are entitled to exorbitant tips no matter how poorly they treat their customers or perform their duties will also will not be swayed by discussion, and very generally speaking, will assume an air of moral condescension on those who disagree with them.

 

[xstayfadedx]

I don't tip for bad service... Haha I just leave. Don't even care. If you wanted my tip then you should of tried harder. And I don't care about its not always the servers fault jazz.... If they suck then I pay for my shit and then leave.

 

[Pander Bear]

asshole

 

[xstayfadedx]

Not when the waiter is not doing anything right for our table. Yet they're next to it all the time and are serving the other people well... Making sure their drinks are filled or even right but then when you try to get them over they always never walk over. So that deserves no tip. Lol I don't care if some bluelighter thinks I'm an asshole for that. I don't do that a lot but I will if the service truly sucked. I do tip 20 percent whenever I go to places though, except of course the really shitty waiters.

 

[Slappyfinklestein]

When im flush i definately tip well, only when its deserved though. In bar settings im amazed at how much people tip. I think if you have the paper dont be afraid to hook it up when someone is especially cool. On the other hand if someones an asshole you really dont have to give them shit. If you gotta a pissy attitude its not in your best intrest to let it show at work it makes every body else feel shity too. We work too hard for our money i think we deserve alot more than we get in alot of cases

 

[alasdairm]

on the flip side, i have learned that the people who believe that servers are entitled to exorbitant tips no matter how poorly they treat their customers or perform their duties will also will not be swayed by discussion, and very generally speaking, will assume an air of moral condescension on those who disagree with them.

i find that the people i described outnumber the people you describe considerably

what's your definition of an exorbitant tip?

alasdair

 

[Kenickie]

i will always tip excessively, no matter the service. i've never had service so bad where i didn't want to tip at all. as a waitress, if i'm given a 20$ tip, i'm expected to give 2$ (10%) to the kitchen, 2$(10%) to my runners and 2$(10%) to my bussers. that 20$ tip is suddenly 14$. and that's not even counting at the end of the night, when i have to tip out the bar, which is usually tabulated as 25% of total alcohol sales. waiting tables is a pretty incestuous biz, most everyone has worked everywhere with everyone else. i don't know another waiter who doesn't know another waiter. if you are consistently a shitty tipper, you can bet your ass that everyone will know about it soon enough. there is also a hierarchy. i always shoved my tables full of australians off on the new girl because i knew they wouldn't tip and i didn't want to be bothered wasting my time for nothing. my time is already only worth 2.15$ to begin with, no reason to spend a full hour waiting on someone when you know you'll come out negative (after paying out your bussers and runners). there would be couple of guys who would always come in, be rollin real hard and shit, run up a 500$ and leave 10$ as a tip. you can bet your ass that after a couple weekends no one would take their table. management would always listen to complaints of high bills and negligent tips and didn't penalize a waiter who skipped over a high bill/bad tipper. at some point it becomes incredibly offensive. if you wanna work up a 500$ bill and then not tip, you don't deserve my service, shitty or not.

a lot of this is also fought by auto gratuity, which is helpful, but doesn't cover everything all the time.
servers are expected to take a load of shit for the place -- be the face to complain to, even when it isn't your fault, pay for their own uniforms most of the time (which technically is illegal, but who stands up for waitresses?), and pay out of their own pocket for every skipped tab (which is incredibly fucked up, but who stands up for waitresses?), and have no sort of protection either in organization or by the people they work for. ON TOP OF THAT we're expected to declare our tips to the IRS when most service industry people can't prove their income to get any sort of assistance from the government or a school loan or a down payment on an apartment or anything like that.

someone who is a shitty tipper is a deal breaker for me in any sort of relationship -- friend, lover, whatever. it's like if you can't be compassionate to someone who you KNOW is working in a situation that's stacked to work against them, i don't want to be your friend, or even around you, in any way.

 

[michael]

what's your definition of an exorbitant tip?

for bad service, i think much past 10% is exorbitant. for good service, it's not something i worry about (although i probably would not tip much more than 25% anyway).

 

[michael]

i always shoved my tables full of australians off on the new girl because i knew they wouldn't tip and i didn't want to be bothered wasting my time for nothing.

it is interesting to me that americans often get bashed for not knowing about the culture of a foreign country that they are visiting, but people will give themselves a pass: "oh, we don't tip in our country! not going to tip here either!" as if that's any different.

 

[Kenickie]

it is interesting to me that americans often get bashed for not knowing about the culture of a foreign country that they are visiting, but people will give themselves a pass: "oh, we don't tip in our country! not going to tip here either!" as if that's any different.

as i haven't left the country, i can't say shit, but my friends who went abroad for school or "gap year" or whatever were absolutely terrified of appearing rude/inconsiderate about things like that, because of that very fucking stereotype, and took the time to find out from their host families/whatever on who to tip and who not to.

eta: i had a foreign exchange student from germany while i was in high school, and when we went out together she always asked discreetly if she should tip or not. i told her to always tip someone who does something for you. waitress, barber, cab driver, nail tech, etc.

eta part 2 : PB just told me i gave her terrible advice. "you don't tip the guy at the hospital who wheels you out to your car, do you?"
no, i guess not, but shit, i was a teenager, she was a teenager, i figured she'd understand what i meant from my examples.

 

[batmanplaybaseball]

I lived in Europe for a couple years. It took some time to get adjusted to not tipping. However, once I did, it was wonderful. You have a price set out for you, and you pay it. Also, there is none of that false and generally disturbing enthusiasm of eating in an American restaurant. "Is my meal ok", "Yes it is, that's why I'm eating it and not saying that it isn't", "Do you need anything else?", "No I do not, and I can politely call your attention if such a situation arises", "How is everything?", "Everything, the food and myself, was doing just fine until you came over and awkwardly interrupted me eating and conversing with my girlfriend."

Coming back to the USA, tipping was definitely a reverse culture-shock. It became incredibly irritating in fact. Why does the person making your coffee deserve a tip? I am already paying (probably too much) for the coffee. Your job involves standing in a ten by two foot area and moving two or three feet every few minutes. Am I simply paying you extra for the discomfort you experience from a lack of activity? I thought about taping a tip cup to a vending machine to see if anyone actually used it.

OK NOW, know that I perfectly understand why you need to tip servers, who are paid unbelievably low wages. Of course I tip these people but I don't like doing it. I don't like it only because I believe that servers should be paid a living wage. The reliance on tips only makes the experience more uncomfortable for both parties involved.

we're expected to declare our tips to the IRS when most service industry people can't prove their income to get any sort of assistance from the government or a school loan or a down payment on an apartment or anything like that.

And this would be an even more concrete example of why this culture of tipping benefits nobody.

 

[AmorRoark]

... Besides the IRS. Heh.

 

[axl blaze]

^ ... and my WALLET, LOL

as someone who just recently got back into the restaurant game I just want to announce that if you don't have enough money for a fair enough tip during your little night out - why don't you stay home and make your own dinner/drinks?

I take my job seriously on the weekends. I worked both Friday and Saturday night - and do you realize that servers/bartenders make around $3 dollars an hour? your State may vary, but I can tell you it is nowhere near your State's Minimum Wage

I take my job seriously, though. I work very hard, and usually get compliments from the patrons, but I also go out of my way and do bullshit nice things like a comp a beer or dessert here, if I like you. I worked around 6-7 hours on both Friday and Saturday night, and I made about $150 in tips alone both nights

 

[hiphophippy]

^ ... and my WALLET, LOL

as someone who just recently got back into the restaurant game I just want to announce that if you don't have enough money for a fair enough tip during your little night out - why don't you stay home and make your own dinner/drinks?

I take my job seriously on the weekends. I worked both Friday and Saturday night - and do you realize that servers/bartenders make around $3 dollars an hour? your State may vary, but I can tell you it is nowhere near your State's Minimum Wage

I take my job seriously, though. I work very hard, and usually get compliments from the patrons, but I also go out of my way and do bullshit nice things like a comp a beer or dessert here, if I like you. I worked around 6-7 hours on both Friday and Saturday night, and I made about $150 in tips alone both nights

My state pays full wage to servers.

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

I'm a sucker for attractive male servers, just because I like the idea of a man serving me food and giving me his entire person. I'm likely to tip a maladjusted male waiter more just because I like to pretend that they get pain out of serving me, or that they are pretending to be in pain for my enjoyment which is even more satisfying because the dishonesty takes more energy. I find female waiters to be good sports - typically I tip 20% flat because I respect the hustle. Get it, girl. But if the girl is totally off and hates her job, and starts taking it out on a gangster with that attitude, I will absolutely stiff the entire bill. I've done it before and I'll do it again. Getting out of the restaurant, into the car, and disappearing into the shadows is a pretty powerful rush and is worth a barrel of belly-laughs in the afterglow.

I guess calling you insane wouldn't be news, but....damn you're nuts....

servers are expected to take a load of shit for the place -- be the face to complain to, even when it isn't your fault, pay for their own uniforms most of the time (which technically is illegal, but who stands up for waitresses?), and pay out of their own pocket for every skipped tab (which is incredibly fucked up, but who stands up for waitresses?), and have no sort of protection either in organization or by the people they work for. ON TOP OF THAT we're expected to declare our tips to the IRS when most service industry people can't prove their income to get any sort of assistance from the government or a school loan or a down payment on an apartment or anything like that.

Waiters need a Lorax. Especially from people like captain, I'm not even going to try and imagine the sort of power-play scenarios he fantasizes about while waiting for a bit of soup.

 

[alasdairm]

how do people feel about the (pretty much universal) tip jar right by the register at, say, a coffee shop where the implication is that you drop your tip in the moment you get done ordering and paying for your drink?

what about pick-up orders? do people pay tips for those?

My state pays full wage to servers.

which state are you in?

alasdair

 

[michael]

how do people feel about the (pretty much universal) tip jar right by the register at, say, a coffee shop where the implication is that you drop your tip in the moment you get done ordering and paying for your drink?

they don't bother me, although i am generally put off by people actually asking for a tip.

what about pick-up orders? do people pay tips for those?

i will generally tip a dollar or two for pickup.