So I'm finally going to enroll myself into college for this up and coming fall. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm kind of thinking its too soon even though I did take a year off. I'm just mainly afraid that I'm not stable enough to take this back on or either I'm just afraid. I guess I'll see how this goes. I was always a smart kid but other things have overtaken my life.. No, I'm still intelligent but my depression and drug use can easily set me up to fail. Its not even the drug use that worries me the most but my depression. Its always been my depression. Its the main deciding factor on whether I succeed or crash and burn. If only I was happy and not for once but for the rest of my life. I hate being on this neverending rollercoaster and I just want to get better but sometimes I feel as if that is never going to happen. For years I felt this way and the depression has only gotten worse. I keep having to switch medications and up my doses because they never work. Ugh, if things could only be easier. I guess only time will tell.
time will tell.
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Leaving the discussion in The Lounge where it is, I wish you the best of luck in school.
Do you have plans on maintaining sobriety while in school? That can be the key to sinking or swimming, for while some can manage weekend binges on top of essays and exams, others cannot.
If you wait until your ready, you will never go, i waited ten years then said "I am just going" and now I am so thankful for the education I have aquired over the past two years, I cannot believe it has been that long already!
@addictivepersona: I'm not even serious in the lounge so don't take it personally. Anyways I haven't thought about whether not not I will try to remain sober. I know its the best thing to do and I would feel much better but sometimes I don't think I can do it.... Even though in all actuality I can. I was sober for a few months and ended up relapsing again and have yet to stop using. Again I will say only time will tell.
@craven... You're probably right to be honest. I think if I don't go soon I'm probably never going to go.
@craven... You're probably right to be honest. I think if I don't go soon I'm probably never going to go.
Hey xstayfadedx,
I can relate a lot to what you wrote, and I think it was wise that you took a year off before deciding to go to college, I wish I had done that (perhaps I would not have become addicted to heroin). Im twenty four now, and have dropped out of college so many times it's not funny. I eventually transferes schools last year, and for the first time (drug habit and all) it really worked for me. Depression can be crippling for me as well, it sucks, but the thing I like about college is that it gives me less time to sit around in my own head tormenting myself, as I have to study, complete projects and go to class.
To not be hesitant would be foolish, but I think if you just try and get the most out of it, even if you don't like some of your classes, that you will have a positive experience.
I can relate a lot to what you wrote, and I think it was wise that you took a year off before deciding to go to college, I wish I had done that (perhaps I would not have become addicted to heroin). Im twenty four now, and have dropped out of college so many times it's not funny. I eventually transferes schools last year, and for the first time (drug habit and all) it really worked for me. Depression can be crippling for me as well, it sucks, but the thing I like about college is that it gives me less time to sit around in my own head tormenting myself, as I have to study, complete projects and go to class.
To not be hesitant would be foolish, but I think if you just try and get the most out of it, even if you don't like some of your classes, that you will have a positive experience.