This wasn’t supposed to be my life

[Stimfreak2234]

Once you start using meth at 17 can your brain even ever recover and return to normal.? 18 now, been sober since October 4th save for getting drunk just one time. Is my brain ever going to heal? At my worst point i was extremely paranoid that my death was around the corner and I would be the victim of some random attack. The paranoia has settled down but I’m experiencing some severe depression and depersonalization. I wish I would’ve studied and went to college, I can’t enjoy anything now, even sex, I had sex last week with this girl, but I still felt like killing myself, this wasn’t supposed to be my life. I feel like I’ll always have these demon on my back that I’ll use again. I feel like the biggest loser in the world for using, like I’ll always be a loser who disappoints everyone and himself, I haven’t accomplished anything in life, and still continue not to. All I do is wake up and think about stuff from the past all day, while other kids my age are dreaming of the future.

 

[acklac7]

First things first: Meth use in and of itself doesn’t necessarily destroy the Brain. Meth is not Neurotoxic. It’s Meth abuse that destroys the Brain. It’s Meth abuse that results in Neurotoxicity. Typically, people that suffer extensive brain-damage issues from Meth have been using/abusing heavily for years. I suspect you might be hyper-focusing on the wrong issues and making a mountain out of a molehill. I suspect Meth may not be the culprit of your underlying issues at the moment. Basically, what I’m trying to say is try not to be so doom-and-gloom about your Meth use, at least not yet, there’s hope, trust me.

Let me ask you, how much were you using in day? And how frequently were you using? Everyday? Every three days?

 

[arrall]

You are only 18 and have your whole life ahead of you. Your brain will heal and things will slowly get better for you. Just stay off of stimulants and give it time. Many people have been able to recover from meth abuse at twice or even 3x your age, so there's no reason why you can't do the same at 18.

 

[acklac7]

You are only 18 and have your whole life ahead of you. Your brain will heal and things will slowly get better for you. Just stay off of stimulants and give it time. Many people have been able to recover from meth abuse at twice or even 3x your age, so there's no reason why you can't do the same at 18.

First we need to determine if he even abused Meth in the first place. Just because he used Meth for a year doesn’t mean it caused brain damage.

Meth does not necessarily = brain damage. A lot of people think that, and it’s just not true.

 

[arrall]

First we need to determine if he even abused Meth in the first place. Just because you used Meth for a year doesn’t mean it caused brain damage.

Meth does not = brain damage. A lot of people think that, and it’s just not true.

Acklac, the vast majority of cases of long-term non-prescribed methamphetamine usage will result in brain damage. And more importantly, the OP has indicated that they are suffering from severe anhedonia, depression, hopelessness, and depersonalization which they attribute to their meth usage. It is extremely invalidating and usually also incorrect to tell somebody that you know their issues and the causes of them better than they do. Especially when they are straight up telling us that the issues began following and directly due to methamphetamine use.

 

[acklac7]

Acklac, the vast majority of cases of long-term non-prescribed methamphetamine usage will result in brain damage.

I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with that statement, although I think it’s a stretch to say a year of use is “long-term”?

It is extremely invalidating and usually also incorrect to tell somebody that you know their issues and the causes of them better than they do. Especially when they are straight up telling us that the issues began following and directly due to methamphetamine use.

I suspect a fair amount of his issues may be based on the worry that Meth has irreversibly damaged his brain, because that’s what we’ve all been taught: Meth Kills. If you’re repeatedly told you’ve taken something that will cause death, your predisposed outlook on life probably won’t be the greatest, regardless of whether the something you’ve taken actually causes death, no?

 

[arrall]

I suspect a fair amount of his issues may be based on the worry that Meth has irreversibly damaged his brain

100%, but they also are clearly manifesting through effects that are typical following meth abuse.

@Stimfreak2234, you certainly do not have irreversible damage. But it does sound like the mental health issues you are experiencing are due to meth if they were not at all present prior to the meth use. Some amount of mental health/life struggles usually precludes meth use, but it sounds like you believe that these issues were caused by the methamphetamine.

Even exercise, sleeping well, getting on a decent diet, getting outside every day, etc. will help your brain repair itself. Some people like using risky research chemicals such as 9-Me-BC to regenerate neurons, but the drugs-to-fix-issues-from-drugs route is quite risky and require extensive research + preparation. These compounds probably work quite effectively when used correctly. But there are major risks to consider, and improper use can worsen the problem.

 

[Stimfreak2234]

100%, but they also are clearly manifesting through effects that are typical following meth abuse.

@Stimfreak2234, you certainly do not have irreversible damage. But it does sound like the mental health issues you are experiencing are due to meth if they were not at all present prior to the meth use. Some amount of mental health/life struggles usually precludes meth use, but it sounds like you believe that these issues were caused by the methamphetamine.

Even exercise, sleeping well, getting on a decent diet, getting outside every day, etc. will help your brain repair itself. Some people like using risky research chemicals such as 9-Me-BC to regenerate neurons, but the drugs-to-fix-issues-from-drugs route is quite risky and require extensive research + preparation. These compounds probably work quite effectively when used correctly. But there are major risks to consider, and improper use can worsen the problem.

Looking into getting cerebrolysin, taking a lot of minor nootropics in the meantime

I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with that statement, although I think it’s a stretch to say a year of use is “long-term”?

I suspect a fair amount of his issues may be based on the worry that Meth has irreversibly damaged his brain, because that’s what we’ve all been taught: Meth Kills. If you’re repeatedly told you’ve taken something that will cause death, your predisposed outlook on life probably won’t be the greatest, regardless of whether the something you’ve taken actually causes death, no?

It’s true I had mental health issues like ocd, and anxiety,depression before meth, but meth caused the anxiety and depression to skyrocket, now it’s even worse, I could manage it before meth a lot better, now sometimes it feels too hard to handle

 

[acklac7]

Looking into getting cerebrolysin, taking a lot of minor nootropics in the meantime
It’s true I had mental health issues like ocd, and anxiety,depression before meth, but meth caused the anxiety and depression to skyrocket, now it’s even worse, I could manage it before meth a lot better, now sometimes it feels too hard to handle

Meth use will do that, but it’s temporary.

I think I asked this before, but are you seeing a Psychiatrist?

 

[Stimfreak2234]

Meth use will do that, but it’s temporary.

I think I asked this before, but are you seeing a Psychiatrist?

Yes, taking gabapentin and starting a mood stabilizer, lamictal. Almost at 5 months sober. Maybe it’s all in my head, the reason I started using meth was a suicidal grab, I felt like life was over and I decided I wanted to go out with a bang and do meth till I die, but then a few months later things started to look up. Now I’m so angry and regretful I did meth

 

[HxC MADxMAN]

Your brain is still developing until you’re 25ish, so yes, you can get completely back to normal, or so close you won’t be able to tell the difference. Just give it time, it takes a while to get back to normal, but the important thing is to give your brain the chance to continue developing like normal over the next 7 years or so. Or as much as possible.

 

[puddle_down]

Perhaps you could speak with a medical professional about low dose Bupropion. You can even skip the part about the meth use, if you’re uncomfortable talking about that. Just explain your symptoms of depression and fatigue and see if they will start you on 50 or 100mg, once daily. I would start out low and titrate if the dosage isn‘t working/too weak. I personally won’t take a break from using without it. It helps me with everything from
depression, hopelessness, irritability and anhedonia - maybe it can help you, too?

 

[puddle_down]

Also, Gabapentin can be habit forming. Lamictal pairs well with Bupropion. It’s a popular combo for many people, with little to no negative side-effects, not to mention a complete life changer. Many people once struggling to succeed in life are now highly successful, content individuals because of those two drugs. But don’t take my word for it, research for yourself and discuss with your doc. And good luck!

 

[Crowbone]

Once you start using meth at 17 can your brain even ever recover and return to normal.? 18 now, been sober since October 4th save for getting drunk just one time. Is my brain ever going to heal? At my worst point i was extremely paranoid that my death was around the corner and I would be the victim of some random attack. The paranoia has settled down but I’m experiencing some severe depression and depersonalization. I wish I would’ve studied and went to college, I can’t enjoy anything now, even sex, I had sex last week with this girl, but I still felt like killing myself, this wasn’t supposed to be my life. I feel like I’ll always have these demon on my back that I’ll use again. I feel like the biggest loser in the world for using, like I’ll always be a loser who disappoints everyone and himself, I haven’t accomplished anything in life, and still continue not to. All I do is wake up and think about stuff from the past all day, while other kids my age are dreaming of the future.

Yea u will recover. I've dealt with this same thing with extreme intensity, you just need to stay the he'll away from meth and everyone who does it. The psychosis and fear will get worse everytime u do it.