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This is the neeewwwwws!

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monstanoodle

monstanoodle

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Just thought I'd create a news thread.

First one: FUCKlgesia...

Study at Keele University shows that swearing can lessen pain

Swearing can actually lessen pain, according to scientists at Keele University. They asked 66 volunteers to submerge a hand into iced water while repeating one swear word out of a list of "five words you might use after hitting yourself on the thumb with a hammer". The experiment was carried out again, but with one of "five words to describe a table". Volunteers were able to keep their hands in longer when they swore. Their heart rates also accelerated and their pain perception reduced. The scientists, writing in NeuroReport, believe swearing triggers a "fight-or-flight" response and heightens aggression.
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I can attest to this being true.
If I stub my toe or burn my hand a good round of FUCKING CUNTING BASTARDING ARSE RAPE CHRIST! Helps a lot more than OH GOSH THAT SMARTS!:D
 
True. I stubbed my toe at the weekend removing a thick layer of skin and in the process caused myself considerable pain. The subsequent expletives definitely worked better than any analgesic I know.
 
Rail staff face 'smile police'

A Japanese rail firm has introduced a system to check that staff are smiling enough at all times.

Computerised scanners around 15 Tokyo stations will measure the smile's curvature to ensure it is broad enough.

Those failing to measure up - literally - will be advised to look less serious and more cheerful.

The system will also be introduced at a hospital in Osaka to check staff friendliness and at a truck stop to measure the tiredness of drivers.

The BBC's Roland Buerk, in Tokyo, says that the Japanese highly value customer service.

It is standard practice, our correspondent explains, for smartly-dressed train conductors to bow as customers enter and leave train carriages.

The software has been developed by Japanese firm Omron.

They suggests that future applications may include shops - where they could be positioned to measure the reaction of customers to products on display.
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Saudi 'genie' sued for harassment

A family in Saudi Arabia is taking a "genie" to court, accusing it of theft and harassment, reports say.

They accuse the spirit of threatening them, throwing stones and stealing mobile phones, Al Watan newspaper said.

The family have lived in the same house near the city of Medina for 15 years but say they only recently became aware of the spirit. They have now moved out.

A local court is investigating. In Islamic theology, genies are spirits that can harass or possess humans.

'Get out of the house'

"We began to hear strange sounds," the head of the family, who come from Mahd Al Dahab, told the Saudi daily. He did not want to be named.

"At first we did not take it seriously, but then stranger things started to happen and the children got particularly scared when the genie started throwing stones."

He added: "A woman spoke to me first, and then a man. They said we should get out of the house."

A local court says it is trying to verify the truthfulness of the claims "despite the difficulty" of doing so.

Many Westerners know the term genie from the tale of Aladdin and the magic lamp, or the 1960s American sitcom, I Dream of Jeannie.

But the BBC's Sebastian Usher says genies, or jinn, in Islamic theology can be a lot more sinister.

They are believed to be normally invisible but with the ability to assume human or animal form, and are often said to be motivated by revenge or jealousy.

There is a lingering belief in genies in the Muslim world that predates Islam, our correspondent says.
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Riveting stuff ;)
 
The first one is fascism in action:|Who the fuck smiles all day?I'd need much druggage for that shit.
The second one is absolute horseshit.Only a deeply religious culture could get away with discussing cobblers like that.Anyway its a poltergeist:D
 
I definitely know it feels better to swear. Saying words with cacophonous letters like "k", "d", and "t" can be quite relieving, though I don't do it too often. :P
 
Monkey Moves Robot Using Mind Control

15336553.jpg


A monkey fitted with a hi-tech brain chip has learned to move a complex robotic arm using mind control.

The animal can operate the robot with such dexterity that it can reach out to grab, and turn a handle.

The mechanical arm has an arm, elbow, wrist and simple hand, which the monkey controls with the power of thought.

Sky News was given exclusive access to the laboratory at Pittsburgh University in the United States.

The research is progressing so rapidly that scientists hope to start trials on paralysed patients within a year.

Neurobiologist Dr Andy Schwartz said: "What we're trying to do is go to a very dextrous hand - where the functionality is very similar to the human hand. If we could help stroke patients there would be a huge market for this kind of device."

They also hope to help patients who have been paralysed by spinal chord injuries or degenerative diseases of the nervous system.

Electrodes implanted in the monkey's motor cortex, the brain's movement control centre, pick up pulses within individual neurones.

The signals are relayed to a computer which analyses their pattern and strength to gauge what the monkey is trying to do. It then translates the signals to alter the speed and direction of the robotic arm.

The system is so quick that if the arm overshoots the monkey's intended target, it can rapidly correct the movement.

Dr Schwartz told Sky News: "It's pretty amazing because monkeys aren't used to moving tools.

"We use them all the time. Imagine you're moving your arm to get that piece of food. Conveying that to a monkey is pretty difficult, yet the monkey learns it fairly rapidly.

"As the days go by, you see the monkeys start using it as if it is part of their own body."

The monkey cannot feel the electrodes in its brain, and did not appear to be distressed by the wires leading from a socket on its head.

At Brown University in New England, scientists have just started the first clinical trials of a similar device. Braingate allows tetraplegic patients to control a computer cursor by thinking about moving their paralysed hand.

Matthew Nagel took part in the first tests of a prototype. Before he died of an unrelated infection, he described how the Braingate device gave him back some freedom.

"I can't put it into words. I just use my brain. I said: 'cursor go up to the top right' and it did. And now I can control it all over the screen. It's wild," he said.

The new trial will be on 15 patients. Scientists hope to prove that the technology is safe and effective enough to use on a wider scale.

Head of the research, Professor John Donoghue, said the ultimate aim is for patients to regain control of their own limbs, which are more sophisticated than any robotic arm.

He told Sky News: "Our goal with Braingate is to have a physical replacement for a broken biological nervous system.

"So we'd like to have a physical system that senses what's going on in the brain, takes those signals inside your body and routes them off to the muscles, so when you think, you move.

"That's just what you or I do, so one day you could be sitting here with a person and you wouldn't know if they had the system or not."
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Pretty interesting.
 
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Was on the news earlier that now the monkey has made the machine scratch its own arse and peel a banana.
 
Wow, this is some of the first successful Nano-Technology of this kind. Wonder where it'll go next..
Dead interesting :)
 
World's oldest man dies at 113

World's oldest man and one of the last surviving World War I veteran, Henry Allingham, has died at the age of 113.

He died on Saturday morning at the St Dunstan's care home, in Ovingdean near Brighton, where he spent his last years.

Born in 1896 to an ironmonger in north-east London, Allingham was the last surviving original member of the Royal Air Force, which was formed in 1918, The Guardian reported.

A mechanic in the Royal Naval Air Service, he also took part in the naval Battle of Jutland in 1916.

Allingham was 14 when the war broke out. He spent the war's first months refitting trucks for military use as his mother asked him not to join the military. But a year after his mother's death he decided to sign up.

Allingham, whose life spanned three centuries and six monarchs, spent his final years reminding Britain about the 9 million soldiers killed during the conflict.

He had become the world's oldest man on June 17 when the previous holder, Tomoji Tanabe of Japan, died aged 113. Allingham had marked his 113th birthday on June 6.

He had two explanations for his longevity. The first was "cigarettes, whisky and wild women".

According to him, the second was, "How have I lived so long? I never worried. In the 20s there were millions of men out of work. You couldn't get a job anywhere. I wasn't worried. I'm not worried now."

The world's oldest man is now a 112-year-old American, Walter Breuning, who was born on September 21, 1896.
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What a guy :) He said his longevity was down to Whiskey, Cigarettes, song and wild women =D
 
Nano technology scares the shit out of me, the potential for things to go wrong or for it to be used wrong is incredable
 
Theft of letters baffles police

Theft of letters baffles police

Police were lost for words after thieves stole letters from four city-centre shop signs.

Officers say vandals targeted four signs in Norwich on two nights in June and took letters including: "N, N, I, N, G, L, O and A".

PC Rob Whiting, who is investigating, appealed for anyone who could solve the conundrum to get in touch.

He said three men were thought to be responsible and two had been caught on closed circuit television cameras.
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I reckon it's scrabble players on drugs.
 
parttime crackhead said:
why would they build a robotic arm that big for the monkey to control.
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It's probably just a standard robotic arm taken from the manufactoring industry. A monkey sized arm would have been better but i'm guessing their budget didn't cover the custom build.

I wonder if there are any one armed members of these forums that feel like they would prefer to have an industrial sized robotic arm instead of a luke skywalker style jobby? Might be useful in some situations...
 
Joking aside if this technology was worked well it could work wonders for the disabled world, people who have had their limbs chopped off or paralysed people could have, as MrM said a Luke Skywalker type arme.

It begs the question then though that would people with other disabilities, such as cerebral palsy, like myself, end up having their natural limbs taken off so they can have machanical limbs that work correctly....and then even further, they could creat organs that the brain could control meaning that we would be able to live until our brain died as everything else ould be replaced....I know I have taken it to the extreme but I bet that this is what the scientist type people are thinking!
 
Wahslab said:
It begs the question then though that would people with other disabilities, such as cerebral palsy, like myself, end up having their natural limbs taken off so they can have machanical limbs that work correctly....and then even further, they could creat organs that the brain could control meaning that we would be able to live until our brain died as everything else ould be replaced....I know I have taken it to the extreme but I bet that this is what the scientist type people are thinking!
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I think if (when?) it gets to the stage that the artificial limbs are better than the real ones you'll get able bodied people wanting 'upgrades'.

Assuming we had the tech i'd stick my brain in a box with arms and legs if it meant i could carry on living indefinitely. In fact i'm pretty sure that's a major theme in the anime 'Ghost in the shell'.

I often wonder if you could keep a human brain alive on it's own today. If you supplied it with blood containing oxygen and nutrients in the right amounts would it continue living? Would it be conscious?


There was a famous experiment a russian guy did where he grafted the head of one dog onto the body of another so the dog had two heads. One head was completely paralised from the neck downwards and the other had normal control of the body (i.e. the original head still connected to the spine was dominant). The point was that the other dog head stayed alive without it's own body as it was recieving blood and oxygen from the body of the original dog. This suggests you could do the same with a human (although i'd prefer a machine to do the blood oxygenation and such than have to be grafted onto someone else)

I suspect that when this happens it will be quite unpopular amongst certain religious crouds. Fortunately by then I'll be able to subdue them with my superhuman strength.
 
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