neverwas
Bluelighter
i sat there giggling, it was around mid afternoon. i smoked a ciggarette and drank some beer. strained me ears to hear the music from the speakers. something funky house, all most commercial. i danced in my seat and laughed. totally forgot where i was meant to be. wondering how your day was. if you had slept alright. whether i was gonna stumble drunk home alone. or if someone would come and meet me. i sighed and told myself not to worry. i can make it on my own. the one thing ive realised lately is...i can make it on my own!!!i downed another beer, had another smoke and made faces across the table as we decided whos turn it was for the next round.
i held my phone cause i knew you would call soon. i didnt realise it but it was always in my hand. the guys said to the girl sitting next to me 'one drink and she's anybodys'. we laughed...i poked one of em just for fun as i continued to flirt with them both more and more. why? i DONT know...but me being me...im all innocent looking of course, but with a real mischevious part.
its funny rediscovering ones self and along the way inserting a lil bit of fun. this was way over due. its not all that hard. cause ive learnt a lot along the way. it doesnt bore me. it keeps my mind going. full of questions with no answers. i stand up and go to the toilet. i actually hurry so i dont miss a call.
you strolled in as confident as you always are. baggy jeans and nicely fitting black top. the hair that i love and an arse to die for. still looking to me like your really fucking hot. i realised that all of my friends are so good looking. i laughed as i remember how when i use to go out clubbing, me and my girl would case the dance floor to see who we would place bets on to go and pick up. a mere attempt at yet another score.
some of the shit we use to pull was so insaine. my dad had a heart attack the first night i spent out of home. which was the navy base. oh my god. that took weeks to explain!!!
i stumbled through the tables and squeezed you tightly. tryin not to look like to much of an ass. i still get butterflies like the day we met. i still like to make a fool of myself around you. why? well i guess, just because i can. i do so well at that to.
while trying not to fall. i whispered to you how drunk i already was, how little beer i had had. but how i was glad that you were there becase i like spending time with you. cause your great. i tell you this every opportunity i have. i giggle and tell you how much fun these people are. sat you at the beer soaked table, as you hardly had finished saying hello and id already had you a beer poured.
jug after jug went by. more beer then more beer. toilet run after toilet run. but then i swung past the bar on the way back and picked up a couple of shots. yay for tequila!!! i looked at my phone and nearlly died when i saw how long i already been there for.
i pretended not to look to smashed as i swung on the edge of the bar. grinding my hips to the music, joking with the bar man while puffing my chest out to accentuate my female parts. theres a trick that i picked up while working in Kings Cross, to get served quickly there is an art. all one has to do is draw attention to yourself. be it flirting, be it flauting anything for a female goes. so i stood there and moved a little bit to the music as i waited for our drinks to be poured. i dropped $2 into his tip jar.
i said to the guy 'i will be back for more'.
after more beer and rounds of tequila i was drunk, happy, wanting to dance, wanting to do anything...so i whispered...i wana go down southbank and play i didnt want the night to end.
i mucked around on the footpath while trying to stop my continuous smile. twirled circles on the tram tracks. hopeing someone was looking for trams cause i couldnt really focus, so i skipped in circles going around and around. then fell into the arms of a friend and cuddled you and laughed because thats what friends are for.
so many memories came flashing back last night. there was something in the air. i dont know what it was. but in my heart, i knew i would be alright. lately ive come to realise that life is what you make it. so if im gonna die, it may aswell be doing something i enjoy. i still cry. i still shed tears. i still miss things that have come to pass. i miss my friends i dont see. i miss you and you havent even gone yet. but i love the fact that with my friends who see my life...with them i can be me. i can be silly, crazy, moody, sad, happy. i can dance in the middle of a bar and laugh and sing and be weird and no one cares...
this is me.
i held my phone cause i knew you would call soon. i didnt realise it but it was always in my hand. the guys said to the girl sitting next to me 'one drink and she's anybodys'. we laughed...i poked one of em just for fun as i continued to flirt with them both more and more. why? i DONT know...but me being me...im all innocent looking of course, but with a real mischevious part.
its funny rediscovering ones self and along the way inserting a lil bit of fun. this was way over due. its not all that hard. cause ive learnt a lot along the way. it doesnt bore me. it keeps my mind going. full of questions with no answers. i stand up and go to the toilet. i actually hurry so i dont miss a call.
you strolled in as confident as you always are. baggy jeans and nicely fitting black top. the hair that i love and an arse to die for. still looking to me like your really fucking hot. i realised that all of my friends are so good looking. i laughed as i remember how when i use to go out clubbing, me and my girl would case the dance floor to see who we would place bets on to go and pick up. a mere attempt at yet another score.
some of the shit we use to pull was so insaine. my dad had a heart attack the first night i spent out of home. which was the navy base. oh my god. that took weeks to explain!!!
i stumbled through the tables and squeezed you tightly. tryin not to look like to much of an ass. i still get butterflies like the day we met. i still like to make a fool of myself around you. why? well i guess, just because i can. i do so well at that to.
while trying not to fall. i whispered to you how drunk i already was, how little beer i had had. but how i was glad that you were there becase i like spending time with you. cause your great. i tell you this every opportunity i have. i giggle and tell you how much fun these people are. sat you at the beer soaked table, as you hardly had finished saying hello and id already had you a beer poured.
jug after jug went by. more beer then more beer. toilet run after toilet run. but then i swung past the bar on the way back and picked up a couple of shots. yay for tequila!!! i looked at my phone and nearlly died when i saw how long i already been there for.
i pretended not to look to smashed as i swung on the edge of the bar. grinding my hips to the music, joking with the bar man while puffing my chest out to accentuate my female parts. theres a trick that i picked up while working in Kings Cross, to get served quickly there is an art. all one has to do is draw attention to yourself. be it flirting, be it flauting anything for a female goes. so i stood there and moved a little bit to the music as i waited for our drinks to be poured. i dropped $2 into his tip jar.
i said to the guy 'i will be back for more'.
after more beer and rounds of tequila i was drunk, happy, wanting to dance, wanting to do anything...so i whispered...i wana go down southbank and play i didnt want the night to end.
i mucked around on the footpath while trying to stop my continuous smile. twirled circles on the tram tracks. hopeing someone was looking for trams cause i couldnt really focus, so i skipped in circles going around and around. then fell into the arms of a friend and cuddled you and laughed because thats what friends are for.
so many memories came flashing back last night. there was something in the air. i dont know what it was. but in my heart, i knew i would be alright. lately ive come to realise that life is what you make it. so if im gonna die, it may aswell be doing something i enjoy. i still cry. i still shed tears. i still miss things that have come to pass. i miss my friends i dont see. i miss you and you havent even gone yet. but i love the fact that with my friends who see my life...with them i can be me. i can be silly, crazy, moody, sad, happy. i can dance in the middle of a bar and laugh and sing and be weird and no one cares...
this is me.
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