What was it?
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2010
- Messages
- 581
I'm new to BL and the reason I've joined is my frascinating acquaintance with a drug when I was 15, but which I have never ever come across again and which I don't know what it even was (but I suspect heroin or opium).
I grew up in Germany and started drugs with 13, in the following order. Weed, Alcohol, Hashish....and then this mystery drug. After that ephedrine and kava kava, diazepam and that's pretty much it. I mostly did alcohol and weed up until 17 when I quit all the illegal drugs as my grades were going down the drain. I never ever binged on any drugs, but when you are young and your mind is developing I reckon weed can really mess with you. Personally, I've done weed only once since as it started making me paranoid-almost schizophrenic. So it was basically reasonably controlled drinking on and off....'socially acceptable'. I came to Australia when I was 20, and now am 29. Over th last year or so I keep on thinking more and more about this drug I cam across once when I was 15 and which I smoked...the following is what I remember:
My friend X and I (or rather acquaintance) sat opposite the local McDonalds in front of a sausage stand. I had received some black hashish from a female school friend whose boyfriend was a local Spanish dealer. Little did I know that the hashish was something else (suspect heroin or opium)
We took a tiny piece of it and rolled it into small sausages of about 1cm length which we popped into some tobacco rolling papers together with tobacco to form a joint. As the amount seemed tiny in hashish proportions (less than 0.25g) we smoked it in deep tokes and kept the smoke in our lungs for 30 seconds before exhaling. Towards the end of the joint we exchanged ‘shots’ to make the most of it. (reversing the joint, sticking it in your mouth with the lit side without burning yourself and blowing, for the other person to inhale at the other end)
As expected, we thought the hash had been too little to get us high and we couldn’t feel anything except for a mild buzz from all the nicotine so we decided to get some burgers.
We wandered over to the other side of the main street to McDonalds.
Once I stepped into the chain I stood at the counter and suddenly it came out of the depths of my soul, body and heart. I felt a deep, physical wave of energy coming from the centre of my chest. Initially I was surprised - adrenaline rushed through my veins. I had no idea what was going on with me but it was very powerful. Then the tiles below my feet started circling, smoothly and gently.
X had gone to the gents. I followed him in and asked: “Can you feel it?” He replied: ‘Yes, it’s amazing. I’ve never felt anything like this before.” We wandered outside the Maccas, ecstatic, in a cocoon, speechless – in another world.
I walked down the stairs onto the pavement in front of the building. It was a sunny summer evening – I was blinded by the sun. The sensation reached its peak-an amazing rush. I could feel liquid, warm, soft gold emanating from the centre of my chest and flowing outwards into my extremities, down towards my feet and dripping out of my toes-liquid waves flushing through my head causing a warm, euphoric and unimaginable sensation of ecstasy and bliss in my brain.
I met a friend and jumped in the air, telling her I had never felt better in my life. After perhaps 20 minutes the energy started to slowly fade and I fell into a half dream-like state, in a cocoon, aware of things around me, but disconnected and distant - in a very pleasant and peaceful way. Things seemed like they were miles away, even thought they were happening a few feet away from me.
From here on I sat on the ground in this state for a few hours without much recollection of events. I remember seeing a mad drunk running onto the street trying to kick cars and my friends laughing – then I faded away again. The day had past and it had become dark when I had ‘come back’ from dream land. My extremities were very heavy and I was very slow for the rest of the night. The next day I felt somewhat tired, like after having smoked pot. Noteworthy was the fact that I was scratching my chest strongly throughout the first 30 minutes after having taken the drug. The next day I noticed that the centre of my chest was all scratched up to the extent of almost being bloody. Of course I didn’t feel any pain on the evening. To this day I still wonder how strong the dosage of heroin in that hashish was, and to what extent there was a crossover effect between the hashish and heroin that possibly potentiated the heroin’s effect.
This experience was very memorable and I will never ever forget it. I feel privileged to have taken heroin and not have gotten addicted. I have never taken it since, but even after 15 years still think about this experience quite regularly. This goes to show how powerful and essentially addictive this substance is. I cannot say I hate heroin – in fact I love it more than anything else except for my family and my own life. Nothing can replace life.
But I deeply fear and respect heroin. It is too powerful to take on a regular basis, or for that fact, even occasionally or with any form of regularity. Heroin is the most potent, charming and unassuming killer in disguise.
Somebody who has never experienced heroin will never be able to fully understand the meaning of its effect. Looking at other drugs like cocaine, LSD, cannabis, MDMA, and amphetamine, people might describe what they experienced with these drugs as, happiness, excitement, hallucinations, sociability, love and closeness to others (MDMA), spirituality and enlightenment (cannabis and LSD), relaxation and so forth.
The main difference is that it is an experience and some people get hooked, but it usually is only a habit which can be broken. I feel heroin is the only drug one can be truly addicted to. The reason is the following: If you ask anybody that has taken heroin what the happiest moment in their life was each and every one of them will tell you it was the first time they took heroin. (if they felt it the way I did)
I have never ever heard anybody say…”Oh, when I snorted that line of cocaine it was the happiest moment of my life.” Or “When I had those 3 glasses of wine I was in complete bliss, I’ve never felt better.”
SO for all those people out there considering trying heroin, never forget that you are about to have the happiest moment in your life but that a DRUG will give you this moment. You will never ever be able to turn this around…..so maybe think twice about what you are about to do.
1. Couple of question s though - do you think this was heroin?
2. didnt have a tar like smell as described on other threads
3. wasnt rockhard, but rather moldable
4. I can now, after not having done any opioide for 15 years take 20mg Oxycodone (i broke a bone and got a scrip) and feel basically nothing except for a bit of a giggle after 2mins and some dizziness, inertia, and then being relaxed for 5 hours....do I have a tolerance?
5. I think I must have been close to an OD first time round...it was so powerful.
6. How the hell can people do anything on H after the inital rush is gone??????I was off this planet.
Anyways, any commentary deeply appreciated.
I grew up in Germany and started drugs with 13, in the following order. Weed, Alcohol, Hashish....and then this mystery drug. After that ephedrine and kava kava, diazepam and that's pretty much it. I mostly did alcohol and weed up until 17 when I quit all the illegal drugs as my grades were going down the drain. I never ever binged on any drugs, but when you are young and your mind is developing I reckon weed can really mess with you. Personally, I've done weed only once since as it started making me paranoid-almost schizophrenic. So it was basically reasonably controlled drinking on and off....'socially acceptable'. I came to Australia when I was 20, and now am 29. Over th last year or so I keep on thinking more and more about this drug I cam across once when I was 15 and which I smoked...the following is what I remember:
My friend X and I (or rather acquaintance) sat opposite the local McDonalds in front of a sausage stand. I had received some black hashish from a female school friend whose boyfriend was a local Spanish dealer. Little did I know that the hashish was something else (suspect heroin or opium)
We took a tiny piece of it and rolled it into small sausages of about 1cm length which we popped into some tobacco rolling papers together with tobacco to form a joint. As the amount seemed tiny in hashish proportions (less than 0.25g) we smoked it in deep tokes and kept the smoke in our lungs for 30 seconds before exhaling. Towards the end of the joint we exchanged ‘shots’ to make the most of it. (reversing the joint, sticking it in your mouth with the lit side without burning yourself and blowing, for the other person to inhale at the other end)
As expected, we thought the hash had been too little to get us high and we couldn’t feel anything except for a mild buzz from all the nicotine so we decided to get some burgers.
We wandered over to the other side of the main street to McDonalds.
Once I stepped into the chain I stood at the counter and suddenly it came out of the depths of my soul, body and heart. I felt a deep, physical wave of energy coming from the centre of my chest. Initially I was surprised - adrenaline rushed through my veins. I had no idea what was going on with me but it was very powerful. Then the tiles below my feet started circling, smoothly and gently.
X had gone to the gents. I followed him in and asked: “Can you feel it?” He replied: ‘Yes, it’s amazing. I’ve never felt anything like this before.” We wandered outside the Maccas, ecstatic, in a cocoon, speechless – in another world.
I walked down the stairs onto the pavement in front of the building. It was a sunny summer evening – I was blinded by the sun. The sensation reached its peak-an amazing rush. I could feel liquid, warm, soft gold emanating from the centre of my chest and flowing outwards into my extremities, down towards my feet and dripping out of my toes-liquid waves flushing through my head causing a warm, euphoric and unimaginable sensation of ecstasy and bliss in my brain.
I met a friend and jumped in the air, telling her I had never felt better in my life. After perhaps 20 minutes the energy started to slowly fade and I fell into a half dream-like state, in a cocoon, aware of things around me, but disconnected and distant - in a very pleasant and peaceful way. Things seemed like they were miles away, even thought they were happening a few feet away from me.
From here on I sat on the ground in this state for a few hours without much recollection of events. I remember seeing a mad drunk running onto the street trying to kick cars and my friends laughing – then I faded away again. The day had past and it had become dark when I had ‘come back’ from dream land. My extremities were very heavy and I was very slow for the rest of the night. The next day I felt somewhat tired, like after having smoked pot. Noteworthy was the fact that I was scratching my chest strongly throughout the first 30 minutes after having taken the drug. The next day I noticed that the centre of my chest was all scratched up to the extent of almost being bloody. Of course I didn’t feel any pain on the evening. To this day I still wonder how strong the dosage of heroin in that hashish was, and to what extent there was a crossover effect between the hashish and heroin that possibly potentiated the heroin’s effect.
This experience was very memorable and I will never ever forget it. I feel privileged to have taken heroin and not have gotten addicted. I have never taken it since, but even after 15 years still think about this experience quite regularly. This goes to show how powerful and essentially addictive this substance is. I cannot say I hate heroin – in fact I love it more than anything else except for my family and my own life. Nothing can replace life.
But I deeply fear and respect heroin. It is too powerful to take on a regular basis, or for that fact, even occasionally or with any form of regularity. Heroin is the most potent, charming and unassuming killer in disguise.
Somebody who has never experienced heroin will never be able to fully understand the meaning of its effect. Looking at other drugs like cocaine, LSD, cannabis, MDMA, and amphetamine, people might describe what they experienced with these drugs as, happiness, excitement, hallucinations, sociability, love and closeness to others (MDMA), spirituality and enlightenment (cannabis and LSD), relaxation and so forth.
The main difference is that it is an experience and some people get hooked, but it usually is only a habit which can be broken. I feel heroin is the only drug one can be truly addicted to. The reason is the following: If you ask anybody that has taken heroin what the happiest moment in their life was each and every one of them will tell you it was the first time they took heroin. (if they felt it the way I did)
I have never ever heard anybody say…”Oh, when I snorted that line of cocaine it was the happiest moment of my life.” Or “When I had those 3 glasses of wine I was in complete bliss, I’ve never felt better.”
SO for all those people out there considering trying heroin, never forget that you are about to have the happiest moment in your life but that a DRUG will give you this moment. You will never ever be able to turn this around…..so maybe think twice about what you are about to do.
1. Couple of question s though - do you think this was heroin?
2. didnt have a tar like smell as described on other threads
3. wasnt rockhard, but rather moldable
4. I can now, after not having done any opioide for 15 years take 20mg Oxycodone (i broke a bone and got a scrip) and feel basically nothing except for a bit of a giggle after 2mins and some dizziness, inertia, and then being relaxed for 5 hours....do I have a tolerance?
5. I think I must have been close to an OD first time round...it was so powerful.
6. How the hell can people do anything on H after the inital rush is gone??????I was off this planet.
Anyways, any commentary deeply appreciated.
Not sure about the questions............I am still feeling the w/d of getting off opiates that I used everyday for 5 years....attention span is like a child 
