Sirena Oscura
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2020
- Messages
- 1,510
Mmm... Look, no contest verbally berating someone or being passive aggressive (which make no mistake, “taking the piss” the way you have described it is just passive aggressive) is below physically damaging property or harming someone/physical assault. It doesn’t mean it’s “good” healthy or constructive though. Humour is indeed a defence mechanism but when used in this way to mock and shame a person is not right.
Not trying to tell you what to do- by all means, that is YOUR way of dealing with situations. Just saying what a psychologist would say about that behaviour and what they consider to be “healthy and constructive” is assertive communication (not aggression or passive aggression). No one is perfect, not having a go at you, mate. Just saying.
I get that it’s hard to tell people how their behaviour makes you feel and having a serious conversation with them- it makes you vulnerable, they could mock you, and humour is a good way to deflect the seriousness that nobody likes and bonus by mocking them first they’re less likely to mock you. Especially in some circles this is the most and often ONLY way of communicating with others. It makes sense. It’s just not what a trained professional would call healthy and constructive. (Passive aggression rarely works)
Not trying to tell you what to do- by all means, that is YOUR way of dealing with situations. Just saying what a psychologist would say about that behaviour and what they consider to be “healthy and constructive” is assertive communication (not aggression or passive aggression). No one is perfect, not having a go at you, mate. Just saying.
I get that it’s hard to tell people how their behaviour makes you feel and having a serious conversation with them- it makes you vulnerable, they could mock you, and humour is a good way to deflect the seriousness that nobody likes and bonus by mocking them first they’re less likely to mock you. Especially in some circles this is the most and often ONLY way of communicating with others. It makes sense. It’s just not what a trained professional would call healthy and constructive. (Passive aggression rarely works)