Things in childhood leading to drugs

[rez]

I remember crushing chalk up, racking a line and pretending to snort it, when I was, I dunno, ten years old. Probably saw it in a movie.

Oh, I just remembered trying to smoke actual lawn grass, at around the same age.

I think I must have had a deep down urge to do drugs all along and all I needed was a little bit of peer pressure for me to start using various drugs.
My upbringing seemed normal to me. My parents were anti drug.

If I never came into contact with people/drugs I probably would be totally drug free today. But this is an impossibility in todays society. I remember however, looking FOREWARD to smoking my first joint at age 15, when a friend got hooked up with some weed by chance.

Drugs I've used often, and at different times since then: pot, amphetamines, codeine, ecstacy. I'm 27 now. Now I only do E every month or two, and codeine on the odd occasion. Oh and I usually have some weed when on E. But never at any other time. As daily pot smoking over about a four year period slowly made me become a very anxious person, so I quit.

Though I believe certain drugs have made me become more of a depressed/anxious type person:
But maybe I've kinda subconsciously been this way all along and discovered that drugs seemed to provide a temporary escape from this? Self-medicating? Looking for some kind of answer to some undefined problem?

Or maybe I just wanted to/liked experiencing the different states of conscoiusness that drugs provided.

Who knows. I don't.

 

[Khadijah]

when i was like 7 and 8 i got this need to see what a crack pipe looks like since by that time I was still goin back down to paterson and around there alot but didnt live there anymore. My ma didnt like goin into the worse parts too much after she had me since my there was alot of carjackings out there . Well everytime we went down I would be lookin all over the sstreets for pipes or needles that people threw away for some reaason it was fascinating to me..

But since I didnt know what to look for so wouldnt see a stem, (also since it was a part commerciial area with stores and busineesses and shit= less crac houses=less shit lyin on the ground) I 'never' did see one... even though now I know I did.

.....When I was 8, I was tryin to figure out what a crack pipe looked like. Give me another 8 years here (16) and by that time I already smoked crack. hahahahahahaha

I think kidds wanna see and have that creepy stalker shit over the drugs (you know sielntly wishing to see a drug, know someone who did a drug, or see a needle/whatever, even better when someones usin it. and ggoin to school and checkin out the library books about drugs when youre in 2nd grade.....) becase they are curious about it, the same way they are about magic and ghosts and all, cause of the secret ritual type vibe it has. Aint drugs like that, esp. the "hard" ones? To some kids drugs is a scarzy idea. But to other kids its like the secret club that you gotta be like ultra cool or badass to get in, cuz at that age it seems mad daring to go and be a "outlaw" like that you know. Then when u get older it aint necessarily like you a dumbass 12 year old, cz by that time u know that u aint doin it to be "cool" or anything but still wana do it case the thrill of it and then u start to really enjoy it and do more.

 

[gugglebum]

like what? every hobby I have tried is boring/costs too much/unavailable to me at this time.

I'll be very clear:

Nobody should ever grow up without one of these.
Get interested in music, it's almost free (with mp3) and I'm sure your parents would gladly buy you a 150 dollar guitar.

Or maybe sports, but I don't recommend that.

 

[miss elle]

i'm one of those people that i wouldn't understand if i were someone else... growing up in a relatively stable household, although always clouded by debt, attending catholic school all my life, being pushed as this intelligent child. my parents expected way too much out of me as a child, but basically i had the youth some would consider idyllic.
when i was fourteen, everything went downhill. i am clinically depressed, bipolar and basically emotionally unstable. i attempted suicide about 3 times, and nearly succeeded until i was found, bleeding from my wrists and rushed to the hospital.
after hospitalization and therapy, i left that self-destruction for sexual abuse on myself. i had a lot of casual, unprotected sex with a lot of people, at a very young age. it was more a way to hurt myself than a way to satisfy myself sexually.
i started getting bored with that, so i found myself interested in drugs, only a new way to hurt myself.

i came from a "nice place" only to those on the outside, i guess. my head and my self have always been a very ugly place, and i can't ever seem to find what i am searching for... and i certainly didn't find it in coke, but now it's hooked.

 

[Distortion]

I use drugs now to escape my clinical depression. I've been depressed since I was a small child and getting high is a liberating experience for me.

How I started, well I was never an outcast and pretty much just pretended to be normal for most of my life. However my depression really made me not care about consequences so I'd do crazy shit for the small thrill I'd get from doing something "bad" and for the recognition and acceptance it garnered from my peers. That's what first pulled me in, that and a nagging curiousity. Once I tried weed I was like "wow, this is awesome! I wonder what XXX would be like!".

And my family also had an influence on me.

 

[glitterbizkit]

I've always been somewhat of an escapist. I used to read a lot when I was a kid, especially fantasy books, and always used to long for a reality that was a little more magical than this one.

I guess my childhood was pretty 'normal' though, well my dad was an alcoholic and my parents divorced and there was a lot of drama from that at a certain point, otherwise I was just this shy little mommy's girl with her nose in a book all the time.

And well... I don't do much drugs these days.. that's more because of a lack of opportunity though... but whenever I do, it's still to get away from this dreadful reality to a more magical one...