Well I bailed after 28 hours. Was more worried about seizure risk than anything. Muscles felt tight. Strange feeling that derealization...it came with waves of happiness ...happy to be 'free'!? I have no real incentive to come it at the moment but think I can do with a taper. And at least I know I can do 24 hours in the case of emergencies.
I made it through a really stupid decision once. I was out of clonidine, valium and clonazepam, all 3 legit scripts, that I had with my methadone. But they were hardass about it, in a bout of stupidity I ate all 60 .5mg rivos (clonaz) in 3-4 days and my valium, which is used as the GAD med (I was actually tapering the clonaz away then, now i'm on 20mg of val a day for GAD and 1mg of xanax prn (i get 20 a month) for panic). I also ate my valium and it was coicinding that in 12 days only could I renew my script, same with clonidine. I survived on a huge bottle of DPH and Seroquel 25mg's, the generic kind that worked, not the shitty ones i have now but that something else.
Those 12 days, even if I had all my methadone takehomes, were hell on earth, thats why I easily proclaim benzo wd is worse than opi withdrawal by far. I even showed up at the pharmacy where the done and everything else is dispensed, there's like 2 teams there, one that hates me, one that likes. I walked all the way through the snow storm just to get some clonidine a bit early. I was scolded about not following indications and i said, I took more because someone took my valiums and put them down the toilet (stories i actually heard happening), so I just wanted something to calm down while I was going through this whole ordeal. It's kind of funny how I felt closer to what "normal" should be without too much panicking as long as I kept myself occupied, but for the best part of this forced wd, I was bed ridden from the wd AND from bronchitis. The ER doc who wouldn't help out my valium situation scripted me an antibiotic that is dangerous with methadone though...my pharmacist couldn't believe it.
Even after telling her that whenever I see my lung doctor (asthma, chronic bronchitis...which i dont feel too much since i fell into the tar pit trap...) was Cefzil (
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cefprozil) she insisted on that fucking dangerous fluoroquinolone, which was probably overkill.
Anyways, I made it, alone in my apartment, with no one to called to ( I live about 600 km from anybody I know since years now, job related), I just couldn't believe that I made it. Having those 60 10mg diazepams (which helped me get rid of the clonazepam althogether after that episode...)
Still, there was many times i felt like i was gonna die, another comfort med I used was home brand robaxacet, you can just cut out the APAP part from the methacarbamol, it gave me 2 nights of sleep at he beginning of the 12 days but after that it didnt do shit, which is normal i guess.
But if you really need help, my ex girlfriend was shooting up people on Versed (midaz) all the time for panic attacks and they didn't ask people to sit quietly in the triage zone when such a thing was impossible. I got help a couple times from scripts that were ending at the ER and that the ending of the script didn't coincide with my doc appointment, which was unfortunately true, they wouldn't give me clonaz or valium, it seems they have 1mg sublingual and 2mg ativan press in the back, it's what I was usually given until I could see my doc, except old school docs who are more than happy to script you diazepam until your appointment ).
If you have an online-only caused benzo tolerance withdrawal thing going on, all I can say is show up as you feel, if you don't feel extra panicked, don't nurses are good at detecting fakers, most of the time, go there, explain the situation, unlike somebody who would go to the ER and say he's an opi addict and he'd like a script to low dose morphine (15mg-10mg XR) orally or codeine pills (60mg then 30mg, something I pulled off once, cos I told her I couldn't afford not working and staying at an inpatient for a week before being released on the much stronger poison that is methadone. She agreed, got 30 15mg M-Eslons), didn't shoot them, then it was the Empracets 60's, which i then cut in two, and a month and a half later I was withdrawal free). uh...oh ok, I was saying there's nothing like that that can be done with someone on the edge while on benzo wd, you'll normally get a shot of Versed or Ativan, maybe Valium, then wait until you see the doctor so you can explain your whole ordeal. I know many people who did it, might be more complicated when you bring up etizolam, flubro, diclaz, pyrazolam etc. if it's all you ever take, but just pretend you had found a large bottle of Nitrazepams 10mg in your grandpa's stuff when he died cleaning up the house and you got hooked on that, plus some other benzos.
Even if you're american, it seems obamacare covers people who don't work too, in a much more complicated and hassling way, obviously, but thats all I can say. If you don't want to raise alarms (because you signed, or didn't because you weren't offered the "oppurtunity") to sign this thing that goes on in western countries lately, the Health Ministry of my Province wants to database everyone's med info. Which isn't too bad when you think of it, but it's like, doctor patient confidentiality takes a hike, every and every small pharmacy chain even (only the 2 big ones know what you get scripted at the other through their LANs) to nurses to doctors, all of them see your medication history. I signed no to the goddamn thing, which I guess puts me on a naughty list, but fuck it, I'm having eyes everywhere in my shit.
I wanted to say, if the system is like that where you live, try taking a drive to another city, a bigger one, with bigger better known names, these people laugh often and sometimes can't believe how crappy services are out of "big centers", my city is almsot 200 000 people, but yeah its kinda nowhere, nothing after it, first time I saw a neurologist, he asked me how come I was in Qc City for this "there's only 2 neurologists in my city" and he was like, that's unbelievable. Point is, nurses and docs who dont know you, who cant have access to your medical history on the spot is what you want, start from scratch.
Sorry for the overly long and detailed post, etizolam is kinda stimulating like that to me, well benzos are, before they put me asleep they put me in the best of moods.