On selfishness, kindness, empathy...
Basically I’m just going to put down in writing all of my most recent thoughts on this subject. Hopefully it doesn’t seem
too rambling or desperate, I just have a lot of thoughts I want to get out about it and would love to get some feedback on these ideas.
It's been a long time since I've really dwelled on any of these subjects--since I had a kind of breakdown the summer before college while trying to figure out the truth behind religion and the state and direction of any soul I might have, how there can be absolute good and evil, etc. Basically after this one day breakdown, I calmed myself down and have tried not to dwell on the subject in order to steer clear of the damage to my self these obsessions were causing.
Before this breakdown, I had decided that there is no such thing as true "selflessness," or “altruism,” because any thing I do, whether I consider it good or bad and whether it helps others or hurts me or anything else, I only do because it makes me feel good to do it, or I don't do something because it makes me feel bad to do it. Basically anyone would only do something if they think they should, meaning the deciding factor in a decision is oneself, not others. Even if something seems like it's only a bother or harmful to someone, if they do it, it's because it makes them feel good for whatever reason. This is the definition of selfishness I’ll use from now on, rather than the innocuous use of the word wherein selfishness is a disregard for others.
I was pretty ok with that concept and it didn't make any difference to any actions I'd take, since anything I did was still based on what I wanted and I still wanted to do all the same things, but the main problem is that if everyone and everything they do is selfish (in the aforementioned sense), what room does that leave for people being considerate, kind, or empathetic? I think these traits are some of the most virtuous and important things in humanity. These abilities of humans are some of the most important things that distinguish us from animals and that characterize the exaltation that is possible in humans--the ability to understand to another person's circumstances and emotional state and to be able to help them when they need it, to be able to lend a hand when it can make someone else feel good or when it helps society. This theory of selfishness leaves room for this possibility only when those things make a person feel good, but it seems that that is something in people that's greatly lacking.
I recently read
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, definitely one of the best books I've ever read in basically every criteria of judgement (intellectual/ethical arguments and nuclei of thought, plot, character development, engagingness, etc) and Ayn Rand elaborates on this topic, in that the people who base their actions and "beliefs" on what others want from them are the ones that are unfulfilled and unhappy, no matter how many people they are pleasing, because they're not doing what THEY want to do and effectively negate their own egos. It reinforced my own belief and had me deeply consider any alternatives and reinspect my own beliefs. I agree with Rand that giving much less (or no) consideration to others' expectations of oneself allows greater room for self-esteem, self-fulfillment and the development of their character.
Rand works hard to convince her readers that the only important thing is to do what you want to do and not to base your actions at all on what others might want or expect, but does that mean that if you don't feel like helping someone else when they're in danger that you shouldn't? Rand describes a virtuous person as a self-fulfilling person who doesn’t sacrifice for others or ask others to sacrifice for them. When is an act considered sacrificial? Is holding the door open for someone else and wasting that time a sacrifice and thus unvirtuous? Is a person who is in a hurry and cuts in front of others in traffic justified because it is in their best interest?
Rand consistently puts down different kinds of kindness in the Fountainhead and even uses kindness as the best example of the way that humans put themselves down and negate their egos. But is there a healthy amount of kindness that isn’t considered sacrifice? If kindness makes a person feel good, does that reduce their amount of self-fulfilledness; does it mean that they require making others feel good to validate themselves?
Thanks for any feedback!
To selfishness
and kindness

!
-Jaguraguguru