You were wearing an orange shirt, the day i fell in love with you.
A black visor, a cocky smile. Those dark chocolate eyes that could see into my soul.
You sent me a poem once, and i memorized it.
It became this landmark in my heart... the foundation of everything i ever felt for you beyond that point. It became an obsession, a relic, a shimmer of hope. It symbolized everything between us.
And i remember the day i realized, that poem was never about me.
I remember the first time we met....
I remember what i was wearing when i drove 10 hours to surprise you, but ended up sleeping alone in a hotel.
I remember the sound of kids playing basketball outside your window, as we made love for the first and only time on your futon.
These are the memories that time has not taken from me.
But time has erased so much....
Your voice... your presence... your words...
I don't remember the poem anymore.
I don't really even remember how it ends, once we left that mythical coffee shop.
I thought about you tonight, out of nowhere.
It's been years since we spoke, or since i've seen you.
It's been a long time since i even thought about you.
We swore time wouldn't do that to us, but it did.
You are just a shadow, one of the many shadows, of someone i used to know.
I'm not proud of that, and feel it is mainly my fault.
I feel like i made you too many promises, and never kept any of them.
For that reason, i'm too coward to call you now,
And see how you are doing.
I can only speculate...
But i thought about you... wondering if you were still living in the same place,
hearing those same sounds,
dreaming those same dreams...
or if you finally found your place in the world.
if you finally followed through on anything you used to write about.
if some girl has finally stolen your heart, and given you the world like you deserve.
i often wonder what has become of that coffee shop...
the one that existed only in fantasy.
a fantasy where i used to spend much of my time,
on nights much like tonight,
where you were too far away for us to meet.
i wanted to tell you that i finally made it here...
where i said for a long time i wanted to be.
sitting by the ocean, on perfect white sands, forgetting about how everything is all screwed up.
there is so much i wanted to be at this point in my life,
so much i wanted to have.
a certain image i wanted to fit.
and almost all of it has fallen short, except for this one dream.
i look into the cerulean waves, endlessly sweeping across the horizon.
i see a sunrise much like one i saw years ago, on a pier somewhere under a bridge,
where even a head full of psychedlics couldn't make me forget your face that day.
i still remember what i was wearing... what i was feeling... all the things i wanted to say, but couldnt...
well, i'm here now. i made it.
and i've grown up. i'm not that same young, naive, girl
who hung onto threads of dying dreams and empty promises.
i am far from the life i once had, and time has erased all but a handful of the memories.
i cant remember the last time i danced on that pier til the sun came up...
the sunrise out here is so much more beautiful,
and for just a moment tonight, i wished you could be here to see it some morning.
i guess i will never know what became of you.
i dont bother searching for your words on this forum, because like my own, i know those words have long since vanished from here, and were probably forgotten.
we were just a phase... no one will remember us, or our words.
but if i'm lucky, you at least remember part of me from time to time
a young girl nervously waiting in a coffee shop...
A black visor, a cocky smile. Those dark chocolate eyes that could see into my soul.
You sent me a poem once, and i memorized it.
It became this landmark in my heart... the foundation of everything i ever felt for you beyond that point. It became an obsession, a relic, a shimmer of hope. It symbolized everything between us.
And i remember the day i realized, that poem was never about me.
I remember the first time we met....
I remember what i was wearing when i drove 10 hours to surprise you, but ended up sleeping alone in a hotel.
I remember the sound of kids playing basketball outside your window, as we made love for the first and only time on your futon.
These are the memories that time has not taken from me.
But time has erased so much....
Your voice... your presence... your words...
I don't remember the poem anymore.
I don't really even remember how it ends, once we left that mythical coffee shop.
I thought about you tonight, out of nowhere.
It's been years since we spoke, or since i've seen you.
It's been a long time since i even thought about you.
We swore time wouldn't do that to us, but it did.
You are just a shadow, one of the many shadows, of someone i used to know.
I'm not proud of that, and feel it is mainly my fault.
I feel like i made you too many promises, and never kept any of them.
For that reason, i'm too coward to call you now,
And see how you are doing.
I can only speculate...
But i thought about you... wondering if you were still living in the same place,
hearing those same sounds,
dreaming those same dreams...
or if you finally found your place in the world.
if you finally followed through on anything you used to write about.
if some girl has finally stolen your heart, and given you the world like you deserve.
i often wonder what has become of that coffee shop...
the one that existed only in fantasy.
a fantasy where i used to spend much of my time,
on nights much like tonight,
where you were too far away for us to meet.
i wanted to tell you that i finally made it here...
where i said for a long time i wanted to be.
sitting by the ocean, on perfect white sands, forgetting about how everything is all screwed up.
there is so much i wanted to be at this point in my life,
so much i wanted to have.
a certain image i wanted to fit.
and almost all of it has fallen short, except for this one dream.
i look into the cerulean waves, endlessly sweeping across the horizon.
i see a sunrise much like one i saw years ago, on a pier somewhere under a bridge,
where even a head full of psychedlics couldn't make me forget your face that day.
i still remember what i was wearing... what i was feeling... all the things i wanted to say, but couldnt...
well, i'm here now. i made it.
and i've grown up. i'm not that same young, naive, girl
who hung onto threads of dying dreams and empty promises.
i am far from the life i once had, and time has erased all but a handful of the memories.
i cant remember the last time i danced on that pier til the sun came up...
the sunrise out here is so much more beautiful,
and for just a moment tonight, i wished you could be here to see it some morning.
i guess i will never know what became of you.
i dont bother searching for your words on this forum, because like my own, i know those words have long since vanished from here, and were probably forgotten.
we were just a phase... no one will remember us, or our words.
but if i'm lucky, you at least remember part of me from time to time
a young girl nervously waiting in a coffee shop...
Just hiding out under different names.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
