1moreb4eyego
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 6, 2024
- Messages
- 6
Hey users, abusers and even do gooders. I'm Seth, 35...this is where i have a brain block and struggle to come up with interesting things about myself because i literally go to work (2nd shift at that) and come home and do home things.
. I went to a party with some friends around town back when i was 17 the very night i got kicked out of highschool and left home . So i was obviously in the most vulnerable state of being. Prior to this i was extremely sheltered for the most part and lived under the rule of an extremely violent father and as for my mother well, lets just say she had to light my own torch because hers is still firmly in her hand when it comes to drugs and drinking.
At this party i would find my coping mechanism, my escape from the pain before the trauma ever even had a chance to surface. I already knew i enjoyed drinking from here and there previously and that night i found the door to another inner reality and to this day i have never set foot back into the one i came through.
I was inhaling whiskey and vodka courtesy of being the beer pong noob, feeling the early 2000's nu-metal playlist just in my element. Well during one of my 86 trips to the pisser i stumbled upon my buddy and this older lady hovering over a poker table and upon this table on a plate was two long white lines, i was clueless but being clueless doesn't fair well in the self -preservation category which was proven right away by my insatiable curiosity. "Hey is that coke"? I naively asked. My buddy looks back at me and before he corrects me he haggles with the lady to allow me in on the unknown substance (thanks buck, you meant well) afterwards explaining in 17 year old muddy fashion that it's called Vicodin and it'll make you feel good. After a few trial runs on the tools of the trade and how to use them i well....used them and let just say i forgot all about drinking from that day on. That was 2006 and as i said , i haven't came back through that door since. From then until now the central authority in my life has been pills, any and all scheduled you can imagine that either take the pain away inside or out or both. I have been on the Suboxone regimen since 2015 so that handles the chaos that is an opioid addicts daily life. Im a medical marijuana patient but have trouble staying consistent with marijuana as it often gives me anxiety and breathing issues. I am currently trying to figure out why my stint with ambien is even a thing, its a sleeping pill for Christ's sake but it provides a high like none other where anxiety isn't even a thing i could have if tried to force it while on it and everything is blissful and strange. I'd like to get to know others who are into ambien (insufflated) and grasp some understanding of this drug before i get to comfortable with it and not wake up one day, cuz it is easy to go overboard i imagine.
. I went to a party with some friends around town back when i was 17 the very night i got kicked out of highschool and left home . So i was obviously in the most vulnerable state of being. Prior to this i was extremely sheltered for the most part and lived under the rule of an extremely violent father and as for my mother well, lets just say she had to light my own torch because hers is still firmly in her hand when it comes to drugs and drinking.
At this party i would find my coping mechanism, my escape from the pain before the trauma ever even had a chance to surface. I already knew i enjoyed drinking from here and there previously and that night i found the door to another inner reality and to this day i have never set foot back into the one i came through.
I was inhaling whiskey and vodka courtesy of being the beer pong noob, feeling the early 2000's nu-metal playlist just in my element. Well during one of my 86 trips to the pisser i stumbled upon my buddy and this older lady hovering over a poker table and upon this table on a plate was two long white lines, i was clueless but being clueless doesn't fair well in the self -preservation category which was proven right away by my insatiable curiosity. "Hey is that coke"? I naively asked. My buddy looks back at me and before he corrects me he haggles with the lady to allow me in on the unknown substance (thanks buck, you meant well) afterwards explaining in 17 year old muddy fashion that it's called Vicodin and it'll make you feel good. After a few trial runs on the tools of the trade and how to use them i well....used them and let just say i forgot all about drinking from that day on. That was 2006 and as i said , i haven't came back through that door since. From then until now the central authority in my life has been pills, any and all scheduled you can imagine that either take the pain away inside or out or both. I have been on the Suboxone regimen since 2015 so that handles the chaos that is an opioid addicts daily life. Im a medical marijuana patient but have trouble staying consistent with marijuana as it often gives me anxiety and breathing issues. I am currently trying to figure out why my stint with ambien is even a thing, its a sleeping pill for Christ's sake but it provides a high like none other where anxiety isn't even a thing i could have if tried to force it while on it and everything is blissful and strange. I'd like to get to know others who are into ambien (insufflated) and grasp some understanding of this drug before i get to comfortable with it and not wake up one day, cuz it is easy to go overboard i imagine.
. Anyway, i highly appreciate your time and effort and thanks again for the welcome i hope to be a part of this forum for a long time because I've been visiting it for knowledge since the early 2000's but never thought to be a part of it until now, hope it's fruitful for others as well as myself.