Positive The Tapering Support Thread v 2.0

[papercuts]

For me, it came down to a ‘quality of life’ question. Initially, the pain killers made life better. A lot better. I could sleep. I could work. Before the pills, I couldn’t even go through the grocery store without a shopping cart to use as a crutch. And the pills gave me most of that back.

When the first prescription stopped helping, my Dr increased the dose, and later increased it again and again. Each increase got me back most of my life. But eventually I was only maintaining basically the same quality of life that I had before pills. When I ran out it was horrible, so much worse than before the pills. I told myself that this would be my life forever.

Now that I’m going 90% of my days without them, I get to compare. Thinking about when I can have more pills, suffering through wd, falling asleep during dinner, $$ for doctors, missing work, insomnia, NOT being present ever…. it’s not a better life than dealing with my pain. There’s soooo many negatives that the pills have brought me.

I still hurt every day. Some days are unbearable. The pills fix that problem, and they fix a few ‘other’ problems. So it’s easy to see why I still get my prescription filled each month. But I’m finally doing the math on how many days I’m suffering from the pills vs how many days I suffer from the pain. It’s easy math. It’s too bad I can’t use them responsibly, but I clearly cannot.

The big hurdle for me is just pulling the trigger. It’s a security blanket. But it’s one that has holes, stains, and fleas. It doesn’t keep me warm anymore. It makes me stink. And I’m dropping fleas wherever I go.

I've said it many times Squeaky and I know you will likely reply again you don't want it, but it's my firm opinion that buprenorphine patches would kill your pain without the temptation of getting high that causes you to run out and suffer (that could only happen if you had zero tolerance, which is a fleeting moment in any junkie's life that doesn't return often, not even with your stop start approach, sorry, lol).

My husband often tells me, "Papercuts, you have pain, you need this."
At one time (thirty years ago) he thought the drugs would take me away from him and he hated them, now he sees it keeps me content and going nowhere. I like it here, so does he. I've been back a while now, raised my kids then got stoned for a few more years. This morning I take the long view and I know there is no comparing between being young and impulsive with being older and in pain.

However it is 10.30am and I've had some pods, now reaching for my weed pipe, just until I settle physically, rid myself of pain, more pain and nausea, then I can start work.

PS Still sticking to 18g a day, yesterday was difficult, nearly had me pretending I'd had none and starting again with another 18g, because I'd not done it the best, so best to start again, right? It hardly counts if I not done it right? Somehow I stopped myself.
Today will be my tenth day of under 20g after enjoying 30g+ over the holidays.

Not left the house this year yet, but I can go weeks or months as a partial recluse so long as I don't actually run out. I'm disabled, I get to work from home, noone is watching.

 

[papercuts]

For me, it came down to a ‘quality of life’ question. Initially, the pain killers made life better. A lot better. I could sleep. I could work. Before the pills, I couldn’t even go through the grocery store without a shopping cart to use as a crutch. And the pills gave me most of that back.

When the first prescription stopped helping, my Dr increased the dose, and later increased it again and again. Each increase got me back most of my life. But eventually I was only maintaining basically the same quality of life that I had before pills. When I ran out it was horrible, so much worse than before the pills. I told myself that this would be my life forever.

Now that I’m going 90% of my days without them, I get to compare. Thinking about when I can have more pills, suffering through wd, falling asleep during dinner, $$ for doctors, missing work, insomnia, NOT being present ever…. it’s not a better life than dealing with my pain. There’s soooo many negatives that the pills have brought me.

I still hurt every day. Some days are unbearable. The pills fix that problem, and they fix a few ‘other’ problems. So it’s easy to see why I still get my prescription filled each month. But I’m finally doing the math on how many days I’m suffering from the pills vs how many days I suffer from the pain. It’s easy math. It’s too bad I can’t use them responsibly, but I clearly cannot.

The big hurdle for me is just pulling the trigger. It’s a security blanket. But it’s one that has holes, stains, and fleas. It doesn’t keep me warm anymore. It makes me stink. And I’m dropping fleas wherever I go.

Isn't it odd how dropping from 30g to 18g is not nice, but perfectly doable. Dropping from 3g to 2g feels about the same even though it's only a teaspoonful difference, percentages count, but try going from 2g to nothing and hell will welcome you with rabid dogs to gnaw on your bones.

 

[Sidban]

Bernese Method / Fentanyl / ISO Feedback

Let me get to the point. I am currently using about a g-g1/2 of fentanyl a day. Over the past 2 weeks I have been tapering my Suboxone up relatively quick but still following the Bernese method guidelines for micro dosing buprenorphine and have maxed out at 16 mg a day. Is this a high enough dose that when I stop taking the fetty that I won’t go through severe withdrawal symptoms? Does anyone have any helpful advice or insight? This whole last week, I have been waiting for the right time/putting it off for the fear of withdrawals. This anxiety/fear comes from what happened when I tried to stop last weekend. I had only tapered up to 8mg of Suboxone a day but I assumed there was enough Suboxone in my system that I shouldn’t be too sick. I believed this mostly because I had come back to reality and wasn’t really getting high off the fentanyl I was doing (If you are wondering why I thought this, please read the backstory below where I explain how I got off methadone using the Bernese Method.) Unfortunately, after only 24 hours, I was in pretty serious withdrawals (Eyes dilated, cold sweats, kicking when trying to lay down, muscle spasms, diarrhea, vomiting Yellow acid, loud ringing in my ears, and so on. Do any of you guys know if fentanyl is just too strong of an opiate for Suboxone to take its place on your receptors completely using this method. Also, does anyone have other recommendations for how to prepare so that maybe the withdrawals are not so bad? I physically do not think I can go through anymore withdrawals, let alone fentanyl withdrawals, which might I add is so much worse than heroin or anything else that I have had to kick.
Backstory:
This isn’t my first rodeo when it comes to kicking opiates as I have kicked heroin a good 15-20 times and I have kicked Methadone after being on 85mgs a day for a year however this is my first time kicking fentanyl. My main technique that I have always used to try and avoid and cut down on the traumatic withdrawals has been Suboxone and specifically the Bernese method in the beginning to avoid the precipitated withdrawals. My biggest win was quite recently when I was able to stop taking Methadone completely after being on 85mgs a day. This happened in less that a week altogether and without ANY withdrawals. Unfortunately, after getting off of the methadone, I started having cravings for opiates again. I had definitely forgotten what it was like to crave opiates but i have heard it described like this.. “jump into a pool and swim to the bottom of the deep end. Then blow out all your air. That feeling you have in your chest and stomach which is forcing you to swim back to the top is what having a craving feels like” this pretty accurately describes what it felt like to me last weekend when i was trying to detox. I knew that if I used again that most likely I would lose my place to live, my girlfriend because she is sick of going through this, and I am already in financial disaster. I was able to fight it for quite some time until after a nasal surgery where they would hopefully fix my breathing. I knew going into it that they wouldn’t be giving me very many pain meds because of my addict status written all over my charts. Unfortunately the pain meds the surgeon prescribed barely did anything for the pain, assuming because buprenorphine is an opiate blocker. I was in so much pain, I couldn’t drink water, eat anything, sleep, breathe, or really do anything for what had been 7 days before I chose to self medicate. 1 day of that turned into another and turned into another. It has been 3 weeks now and all I want is to be off of this stuff before it kills me.

Thank you all for reading of you read it. If you didn’t, don’t worry I won’t be offended. My ADHD would allow me to read something this long.

You're in the right place friend. I read every word. You've got this.

 

[Sidban]

I'm back. Going through tolerable diazepam WD after tapering basically 50%. I was taking 300mg daily but intermittently. Some days I'd do 150mg alongside some codeine.

I'm over the codeine WD. NOw it's the long road of diazepam tapering. Currently taking 140mg per day. These are given to me by my long suffered partner. I have enough pills to taper for 14 weeks (I think).

All I see are whining videos of people on YouTube. I need positive vibes. This shit is possible right? I've got work on Monday. I'm worried about it. But it's one day at a time right?

Anyway. Like Howdy said. This ain't my first rodeo either. I know there is much pain to come. How the fuck did I get to 300mg a day? Proper fucking junkie. I gotta take my mind off it but at the same time I can't..

Peace n love y'all. I've got your back if you've got mine.

 

[Squeaky]

I've said it many times Squeaky and I know you will likely reply again you don't want it, but it's my firm opinion that buprenorphine patches would kill your pain without the temptation of getting high that causes you to run out and suffer (that could only happen if you had zero tolerance, which is a fleeting moment in any junkie's life that doesn't return often, not even with your stop start approach, sorry, lol).

I’m certain you’re 100% correct. I think it’s become a question for me of being stubborn and not letting myself be beaten by this problem. If I could get free from the grip that the pills have on me, truly free, then maybe I would try bupe. But I could see that I was dependent/addicted way back before I had heard of bupe. Somehow I decided to beat this whole situation on my own, and giving into bupe means giving up. I know it’s childish (and maybe even really stupid), but freedom seems to be just over the next hill and I don’t want to even think about giving up now.

There’s a big piece of me that sees everyone around the USA becoming dependent on pharmaceuticals as they age. Diabetes, blood pressure, etc… all needing pills to survive into their later years. It seems very unnatural to me and I want to figure it all out without becoming another footnote in Big Pharma’s tax return. I have done tons and tons of research into the true causes of these problems and found that most can be completely cured with diet (even cancer). I’m desperately terrified of becoming reliant on a pill organizer for my morning, noon, and night medicines. And I am very healthy except for the problem I have with pills. I want to wake up tomorrow and need NOTHING but a cup of coffee to start my day, and I really want the folks at my pharmacy to forget my name.

I’ll get there. I dug the hole for myself and I’m determined to fill it back in on my own. Bupe would be a life sentence and even harder to quit than oxy.

 

[papercuts]

I’m certain you’re 100% correct. I think it’s become a question for me of being stubborn and not letting myself be beaten by this problem. If I could get free from the grip that the pills have on me, truly free, then maybe I would try bupe. But I could see that I was dependent/addicted way back before I had heard of bupe. Somehow I decided to beat this whole situation on my own, and giving into bupe means giving up. I know it’s childish (and maybe even really stupid), but freedom seems to be just over the next hill and I don’t want to even think about giving up now.

There’s a big piece of me that sees everyone around the USA becoming dependent on pharmaceuticals as they age. Diabetes, blood pressure, etc… all needing pills to survive into their later years. It seems very unnatural to me and I want to figure it all out without becoming another footnote in Big Pharma’s tax return. I have done tons and tons of research into the true causes of these problems and found that most can be completely cured with diet (even cancer). I’m desperately terrified of becoming reliant on a pill organizer for my morning, noon, and night medicines. And I am very healthy except for the problem I have with pills. I want to wake up tomorrow and need NOTHING but a cup of coffee to start my day, and I really want the folks at my pharmacy to forget my name.

I’ll get there. I dug the hole for myself and I’m determined to fill it back in on my own. Bupe would be a life sentence and even harder to quit than oxy.

I admire your determination, besides I think buprenorphine would be a huge disappointment after having oxy all this time, it's no fun and makes you sweat!

 

[papercuts]

I'm back. Going through tolerable diazepam WD after tapering basically 50%. I was taking 300mg daily but intermittently. Some days I'd do 150mg alongside some codeine.

I'm over the codeine WD. NOw it's the long road of diazepam tapering. Currently taking 140mg per day. These are given to me by my long suffered partner. I have enough pills to taper for 14 weeks (I think).

All I see are whining videos of people on YouTube. I need positive vibes. This shit is possible right? I've got work on Monday. I'm worried about it. But it's one day at a time right?

Anyway. Like Howdy said. This ain't my first rodeo either. I know there is much pain to come. How the fuck did I get to 300mg a day? Proper fucking junkie. I gotta take my mind off it but at the same time I can't..

Peace n love y'all. I've got your back if you've got mine.

@Sidban were you using pods before? How did you get off them? Is this part of it or am I mixing you up with someone else?

I'm currently deciding if I can step down again and I'm thinking no, because this is really hard at 18g of powdered pods a day and I've made it through seven days at 18g, five days at 20g before that too. That seemed easier, but that's the long half life thing, longer than methadone.

Anyway its twelve days in all since reducing from the 30g a day in December.
I nearly went back up to 20g in the last couple of days, feeling a bit down but no physical symptoms atm, taking clonidine and gabapentin. I stuck on one small bupe patch near the start, it can't be giving out much now, it's a 7 day patch.

I'll save them for a bit later, maybe get it down to 12g then switch to wearing a couple of bigger patches, see how that is, will I get wds bad like that or could I get on a plane like that? That would be ideal. Bupe doesn't cover all the good stuff in pods, maybe adding loperamide and cyclizine will be enough? Maybe I'll need an antidepressant. And to test what will allow me to sleep without pods and industrial quantities of weed while on buprenorphine.

I also need to know what countries don't allow in people using buprenorphine, much easier to ask when it's not illegal for me.
Just to go to a wedding.

The biggest problem while I get used to the reduction is I'm stuck in the house with mega cravings, so I end up grazing through the medicine cabinets.
This year I'm more realistic about how much I'm bothered by my dependancy, I'm not. I'm only bothered about living my life my own way while avoiding getting locked up for doing no harm to anyone.

 

[smokeymcpot42088]

idk where the hell my all too long tapering thread is but in a hypothetical universe ive went from over 70mgs C-LAM a day down to I think it was 1.8 mg when I ran out and switched to ClonazePam 5mg a day, feel ok on day 9. oh if only I hadn't run afoul with my doctor id be getting 4 a month.....i needed those damn him. for real bad isomnia, agoraphobia, quite possibly if not probably PTSD but not lookin to get that diagnosed as you lose your second amendment, fear of public places. Im sure i am somewhere on the autism spectrum but again trying to duck any stigma im not stuck with already.

 

[Squeaky]

Take it from someone who was diagnosed with ASD as an adult. Getting an official diagnosis might be a life saver. After I found out and informed certain people (not everyone), life got easier. It’s not an excuse to be a jerk, but it definitely helps those who care about me to help me when I need it. I still have to suffer through the bits of life that suck. However, I’m no longer judged for saying No to something that I already know I can’t handle.

It’s kind of like having diabetes and turning down Grandma’s famous apple pie. Everyone knows you just can’t, and it’s Ok.

 

[smokeymcpot42088]

I appreciate your opinion and for many people I would agree. Definitely not for me for a # of variables that I can't really get into on BL forums. I do not consider myself suffering. I am happy with my life, i just have been through some shit and of course it takes a mental toll. I am not a jerk (at least in real life, on computers i come across odd. I am good. Maybe I exaggerated the way you are talking about it. The hospitals around here are too uppity and i dont need any (more) experiences with them.

 

[Squeaky]

I appreciate your opinion and for many people I would agree. Definitely not for me for a # of variables that I can't really get into on BL forums. I do not consider myself suffering. I am happy with my life, i just have been through some shit and of course it takes a mental toll. I am not a jerk (at least in real life, on computers i come across odd. I am good. Maybe I exaggerated the way you are talking about it. The hospitals around here are too uppity and i dont need any (more) experiences with them.

You definitely have a point with regards to Drs and hospitals. The one sort of good thing with ASD is that there’s no ‘cure’ (although there’s usually pressure to get treatment). I was only suggesting you find out for yourself. And there’s about a million levels of severity. It sounds like you have your situation under control a bit better than I did.

 

[Painful One]

Hey friends,
Still sick as hell here.
I think I have pneumonia.
My mom got better but I have not.
I am literally coughing up blood all night and day.

My doctor will not see me again until Monday.
They say no appointments are available.

I am wondering if this could be withdrawal that is happening.
Coming from 90 mg a day Morphine to 24 mg a day suboxone.
Is it possible to have opioid withdrawal?
This feels like bad withdrawal.

Shouldn‘t I be feeling better now?
I have been taking the suboxone since November now.
I do not understand what is happening.
Can anyone shed some light on my situation?
Is this withdrawal? Or no, it must be some bad virus still?
I have had this since being forced to change to suboxone.
Still so damn sick!
HELP!

 

[Painful One]

Hey Painful, havent heard from u in like two weeks, i know u were having a rough time, are you doing better? Hows ur moms? I hope u had a great New Year's eve and a better start of these first days of 2023. Sending a big good vibes hug.

Hey @Fungus_Am0nguz
Hope you are doing well and you had a Great New Year and are continuing to improve.
Thank you for the encouragement, Good Vibes, and especially the big Hug.

My mom is all better. We did both have a really, super, bad virus that has lasted for over 3 weeks now.
I got it about 4 days later than my mom but she recovered at least 7 days ago.
I have still got the intense cough. Keeps me up all night.
It is slowly getting better but I have been coughing up blood and my doctor will not let me come in until Monday, which is the day my Suboxone prescription is due.
I told them at the desk that I am pretty sure I have pneumonia and have been sick this entire time, since they last saw me.
The front desk lady said “We know”.
So, what is the deal? How do they know? This is expected when switching from 90 mg morphine to 24 mg suboxone a day?
Is this some kind of withdrawal, adjustment stage or what?
I don’t know if I am just still sick with this virus or if some of this is withdrawal??
Anyone?

I am holding out Hope that I get well soon and I feel better than before.

 

[Squeaky]

Hey @Fungus_Am0nguz
Hope you are doing well and you had a Great New Year and are continuing to improve.
Thank you for the encouragement, Good Vibes, and especially the big Hug.

My mom is all better. We did both have a really, super, bad virus that has lasted for over 3 weeks now.
I got it about 4 days later than my mom but she recovered at least 7 days ago.
I have still got the intense cough. Keeps me up all night.
It is slowly getting better but I have been coughing up blood and my doctor will not let me come in until Monday, which is the day my Suboxone prescription is due.
I told them at the desk that I am pretty sure I have pneumonia and have been sick this entire time, since they last saw me.
The front desk lady said “We know”.
So, what is the deal? How do they know? This is expected when switching from 90 mg morphine to 24 mg suboxone a day?
Is this some kind of withdrawal, adjustment stage or what?
I don’t know if I am just still sick with this virus or if some of this is withdrawal??
Anyone?

I am holding out Hope that I get well soon and I feel better than before.

I have personally had huge wd’s just from dropping my dose by %25. They lasted for 3 weeks (only went away because I git a refill). And everything I have read about bupe says that there definitely can be a big adjustment period, with full opioid wd. Days or even weeks for some. Anytime I have changed to a ‘weaker’ opioid the wd’s were about 1/2 as bad as cold turkey.

But opioid wd shouldn’t cause you to cough up blood. Sounds like you’re in wd AND have pneumonia. And the biggest cause of death from Covid is that the lungs fill with fluid from millions of damaged blood vessels.

You should probably go to the emergency room P.O. It’s one thing to have pneumonia, but the blood you’re seeing is something that needs immediate attention.

 

[Painful One]

I have personally had huge wd’s just from dropping my dose by %25. They lasted for 3 weeks (only went away because I git a refill). And everything I have read about bupe says that there definitely can be a big adjustment period, with full opioid wd. Days or even weeks for some. Anytime I have changed to a ‘weaker’ opioid the wd’s were about 1/2 as bad as cold turkey.

But opioid wd shouldn’t cause you to cough up blood. Sounds like you’re in wd AND have pneumonia. And the biggest cause of death from Covid is that the lungs fill with fluid from millions of damaged blood vessels.

You should probably go to the emergency room P.O. It’s one thing to have pneumonia, but the blood you’re seeing is something that needs immediate attention.

I am scared @Squeaky
i am really scared.
I was throwing up black stringy stuff along with major mucus yesterday.
I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning.

I am so depressed and so tired of being sick!
Why couldn’t they have just left me the fuck alone with my prescriptions that I was able to be stable on!?!?!
Why is it impossible to find a doctor who will treat chronic pain- injury- degenerative diseases anymore?
I would have gone to the hospital by now but there is no help anywhere!
All they would see is “suboxone” and just dismiss me.

 

[kiely]

see what people are like. they are doing this to us and i don't understand it. or should i just say, they just don't understand critical and criteria. keep fighting the fight beautiful girl. you

would have lived a long time with the proper medicine. healthier. made it. i have even heard first hand that a doctor just had went and grandfathered someone's prescription for his

patient. and said it's okay here you go. here are your meds for you. I guess he couldn't look straight at her and say no. so there you go. not a big deal. no one got hurt.

maybe a lawyer. I told the councilor that i am fine and okay and not suicidal (of all things ) right !!! So now maybe they can trust me with pain medication you know. Anyway I forgot the

definition. But I have depression related to a medical condition !! Okay ! F'n right !!!!! I am in pain !!!! # ? And yes . . . . the proper healthy medicine would and will help. you

think.

for @Painful One

 

[Fungus_Am0nguz]

Hey @Fungus_Am0nguz
Hope you are doing well and you had a Great New Year and are continuing to improve.
Thank you for the encouragement, Good Vibes, and especially the big Hug.

My mom is all better. We did both have a really, super, bad virus that has lasted for over 3 weeks now.
I got it about 4 days later than my mom but she recovered at least 7 days ago.
I have still got the intense cough. Keeps me up all night.
It is slowly getting better but I have been coughing up blood and my doctor will not let me come in until Monday, which is the day my Suboxone prescription is due.
I told them at the desk that I am pretty sure I have pneumonia and have been sick this entire time, since they last saw me.
The front desk lady said “We know”.
So, what is the deal? How do they know? This is expected when switching from 90 mg morphine to 24 mg suboxone a day?
Is this some kind of withdrawal, adjustment stage or what?
I don’t know if I am just still sick with this virus or if some of this is withdrawal??
Anyone?

I am holding out Hope that I get well soon and I feel better than before.

Hey Painful One, first nice to hear from you and to know that your mom's fine now. A 3 week virus?? No wonder you were unavailable. A couple of things though, if you are coughing blood, no matter the hospital they should assist you immediately. Maybe you should bring them tissue with cough blood on it, that way they get their asses moving, not this "we know" bs they told you. Coughing blood could be something serious, exaggerate the pain if you have to, if they ask how much does it hurt, say 8 or 9, even if the pain is at 5. I really dont Understand how can they discard you when you inform them that you are taking subox, even when you are coughing blood,, like wtf.

Now regarding your subutex transition it should be over with by now, because of the time and your dose (24mg is a big one, buphre is a very powerful med, i was at the same dose at one moment, the real battle if or when you decide to quit is when you go down 2mg, before that its a mind game, thats how powerful subox is)
So maybe those wds you are feeling might be a combination of that horrible virus, with anxiety, etc. Its funny, when you quit or change opiates, you start coming down with the flu, back pains, headaches, etc all this shit that u didnt get before for years (i aint talking about wds here) anyways keep pushing forward, i know it might not seem like (with the pain, and coughing and depression and frustration, etc) BUT you already have one foot on this side of the fence. Hopefully tomorrow everything goes great with your Dr. Take care my friend.

 

[Squeaky]

I am scared @Squeaky
i am really scared.
I was throwing up black stringy stuff along with major mucus yesterday.
I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning.

I am so depressed and so tired of being sick!
Why couldn’t they have just left me the fuck alone with my prescriptions that I was able to be stable on!?!?!
Why is it impossible to find a doctor who will treat chronic pain- injury- degenerative diseases anymore?
I would have gone to the hospital by now but there is no help anywhere!
All they would see is “suboxone” and just dismiss me.

The black stuff can really only be one of two things. Blood or bile. If it’s blood then it’s not fresh. I have been so incredibly constipated for years now. I ate too much ice cream a few months ago and got REALLY gassy. It couldn’t pass the normal route and I started burping fart smelling gas, then puked diarrhea. Pretty awful experience but it only lasted an hour.

You definitely should be concerned. If I lived in your house… I’d have already called an ambulance for you. A bleeding ulcer can turn fatal pretty quickly under the right circumstances. And Dr’s tend to move slowly, but a ride in an ambulance gets you straight into a hospital bed.

 

[Squeaky]

And P.O….. wd’s suck but you won’t die from them. I had all of the weird pains that kiely described for over a year (the first 6 months of which I had zero opiates). You’re also ingesting Tylenol and other OTC medications, and probably lots of them. Vomiting blood is no joke but it’s probably not connected to the pain meds. At least laying in a hospital bed might get them to stabilize your meds and you would have extra when you get back home(because you’ll not be using up your prescription at the hospital)

 

[Painful One]

And P.O….. wd’s suck but you won’t die from them. I had all of the weird pains that kiely described for over a year (the first 6 months of which I had zero opiates). You’re also ingesting Tylenol and other OTC medications, and probably lots of them. Vomiting blood is no joke but it’s probably not connected to the pain meds. At least laying in a hospital bed might get them to stabilize your meds and you would have extra when you get back home(because you’ll not be using up your prescription at the hospital)

I have been coughing up fresh blood along with major mucus.
I am scared because for weeks, I had this weird crackling sound coming from my lungs. Had the worst cough and sickness.
I think that black stringy stuff was lung tissue.

There are many things I am not trusting about the medical system right now.
I don’t want to go to the hospital and have them put me on a ventilator, drug me and kill me.
Lots of testimonies out there of this kind of thing happening.
I do not trust them anymore!

This is no normal flu either.
we have been too sick to go to the hospital!
I am just taking longer to get over it than my mom and I am wondering if it has gone into pneumonia.
Pneumonia is a symptom of serious withdrawal for me. I have had that happen before.
So that is why I was wondering about that.

I know opiate withdrawal won’t kill me.
But my underlying conditions might.

I am just confused as to what is happening and I am asking, is this to be expected from just the move in medications?
From 90 mg morphine a day to 24 mg suboxone a day?
It has been 3 months now...shouldn’t I be through the “adjustment period”?