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Positive The Tapering Support Thread v 2.0

Squeaky said:
Congratulations Kiely!!! You made it out to the other side!

Just don’t lose that fear. It’s surprising how easily the pills can creep back into your life. Do you still have pills ‘saved’ anywhere?
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Today I had a real pear and some water instead of an energy drink. :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

It never tasted so good in my whole life. lol. It did. It was good.

And some cherries.
 
kiely said:
YOU'RE AWESOME.

No pills. I live on Planet of the No Norco right now. They are gone.
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It sounds like you’re riding that high of freedom. It’s gotta feel pretty awesome.

This thread was actually started by a lady who wanted to taper off opiates. Eventually she got down to zero and finally started living. One of her last posts was about going on a vacation with no fear of running out of pills for the first time in several years.

Feels like you got out of jail.
 
my tapering plan went horribly wrong. i got myself into a situation where i'd gone 10 days without taking anything at all, and then i did something so stupid. i had this awful pain in the middle of my lower back and i had had pain exactly like that before and it was kidney stones - i've had kidney stones three times in the last two years and they were awful, i was hospitalized twice - so i just assumed that this was another kidney stone. went to my GP and he gave me some kind of NSAID, but it did nothing for the pain. i ended up going to the ER because the pain was so bad and they ran all the usual tests. on the one hand i'm glad i went, because they told me my liver and kidney function is completely normal and obviously that's always a concern when you're a drug user. but they basically said i didn't have any kidney stone issues (i've got a couple of very small stones in my kidneys but they're not causing any problems and likely won't) and maybe my pain was musculoskeletal and i should see a physiotherapist etc. in the hospital they gave me a opioid painkiller, and the pain actually went away for a while. so between that and knowing that my kidneys weren't failing or something, i felt a bit better.

then i came home and googled my symptoms. and the result was pretty clear. what i was experiencing was just withdrawal. i didn't realize because a) i'd never had those particular symptoms before. usually when i'm in withdrawal i get the runs and i sneeze a whole bunch. and b) i'd never actually made it to ten days totally sober before.

so i felt like i had to start tapering all over again because i obviously just rushed this and didn't properly think my plan through.

i'm starting a really important job on monday and i'm terrified of having to try and taper while i'm doing this job.

but i guess it's cool that i did get those 10 days under my belt. the thing is - i didn't even want to use. like i had no desire whatsoever to take drugs and that's how i feel most of the time now. i'm in that awful place where my body is obviously dependent on them, so i have to keep using but tapering down, when my instinct was just to go cold turkey.

i feel really dumb but i guess it's back to day one now.
 
Squeaky said:
It sounds like you’re riding that high of freedom. It’s gotta feel pretty awesome.

This thread was actually started by a lady who wanted to taper off opiates. Eventually she got down to zero and finally started living. One of her last posts was about going on a vacation with no fear of running out of pills for the first time in several years.

Feels like you got out of jail.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your kind words @Squeaky. It feels good that you are here and here for us. And thank you for your understanding.

I know that you understand and can help and I thank you so much for that.


You really know how and do keep the support going so well. I just have to read your posts whenever I can and when I need something.

No matter what it is I don't care but you are here and listen and understand for us. And you are so good at keeping that focus and knowing how.


And no matter how little it can seem at the time . . . it really is a big deal and is such a significant support that you always seem to be able to

contribute to so well. Yes you just have that skill to help out. And I know it is appreciated too. I just feel that so sincerely, and in a community

that has that significance somehow.


Anyway sorry that I wrote so much but you can see how we are crying out and how you and took the time to care.

I needed some tears because my eyes felt kind of dry today anyway. <3



I did have a terrible day today. I have to take methotrexate and I forgot to take it and took it late and it is only once a week.

It does hit hard sometimes but I have just kept going so far.



I felt really really . . . really bad today. So I needed something to help and then I finally took a cetirizine. I haven't taken one for

about five or six days at least but it is helping and I feel a lot better from it for sure. I doubt if I am really hooked on them at all.

So it is probably my brain now because I seemed to need something and that cetrirzine really helped a lot.



I have to get stronger. I barely have any strength left anymore. And I am too tired all of the time.

I just wanted to cry out again today. So thank you again for all of the great encouragement and your smile.

The smile from in my heart too.



But that being said I have rested enough and have to try to get up and start living again and work on having some

kind of strength for doing so. The tiredness always takes over and so I feel very depressed. Or the depression

makes me tired. Either way I want to be stronger and at least feel like I will be able to do all of the things that I want to somehow.



I want to be healthier and not be lazy and lethargic as a way of life. I mean some days I can do this but most of

the time I just don't want to. Maybe it just feels worse than it is because I was so down and so out of it all today.



Yes, no more Norco . . . but no more strength and energy anymore either as the time flows.

Gawd thank you so much for your support. he hee. And making my horrible day feel a little bit brighter and worth it

once again. It is horrible being so down and out and dreary when I can't have the energy that I want.



It's not about the opioids anymore it's about auto immune inflammation that causes depression and lack of motivation.

I am in a bad depression loop but keep trying to stay motivated to do something about it.

It definitely isn't fun being sick no matter what is causing it.



I am free though !!!!!!!! And I am able to feel that strength from the heart to keep on going because if I do nothing else at least

I can rest and know that the happiness at least can make it all feel a little better. Little steps toward bigger goals

do help so much.


And feel the support from you and it was so great . . . and just the best ever as always. Wow, how do you do that.

Anyway.


@Squeaky made me smile today. And that little bit went a really long way and made it all feel much better.


blah bla bla bla blah I loved it !!!! I did. Did it.


No . . . . but that was really great. Thank you that was awesome !!

loools squeak squeak really awesome <3💛:)



k thnx



Bye. 🌻


So yes, I can't get any worse now . . . . only better. Thank you @Squeaky. This is what this appreciation is about here always. You are the Pro. around here too. And you know how to make smiles also and as well.


Be the change and make that difference. And that was @Squeaky today. That was the support from you that I will remember

always too.
 
kiely said:
Thank you for your kind words @Squeaky. It feels good that you are here and here for us. And thank you for your understanding.

I know that you understand and can help and I thank you so much for that.


You really know how and do keep the support going so well. I just have to read your posts whenever I can and when I need something.

No matter what it is I don't care but you are here and listen and understand for us. And you are so good at keeping that focus and knowing how.


And no matter how little it can seem at the time . . . it really is a big deal and is such a significant support that you always seem to be able to

contribute to so well. Yes you just have that skill to help out. And I know it is appreciated too. I just feel that so sincerely, and in a community

that has that significance somehow.


Anyway sorry that I wrote so much but you can see how we are crying out and how you and took the time to care.

I needed some tears because my eyes felt kind of dry today anyway. <3



I did have a terrible day today. I have to take methotrexate and I forgot to take it and took it late and it is only once a week.

It does hit hard sometimes but I have just kept going so far.



I felt really really . . . really bad today. So I needed something to help and then I finally took a cetirizine. I haven't taken one for

about five or six days at least but it is helping and I feel a lot better from it for sure. I doubt if I am really hooked on them at all.

So it is probably my brain now because I seemed to need something and that cetrirzine really helped a lot.



I have to get stronger. I barely have any strength left anymore. And I am too tired all of the time.

I just wanted to cry out again today. So thank you again for all of the great encouragement and your smile.

The smile from in my heart too.



But that being said I have rested enough and have to try to get up and start living again and work on having some

kind of strength for doing so. The tiredness always takes over and so I feel very depressed. Or the depression

makes me tired. Either way I want to be stronger and at least feel like I will be able to do all of the things that I want to somehow.



I want to be healthier and not be lazy and lethargic as a way of life. I mean some days I can do this but most of

the time I just don't want to. Maybe it just feels worse than it is because I was so down and so out of it all today.



Yes, no more Norco . . . but no more strength and energy anymore either as the time flows.

Gawd thank you so much for your support. he hee. And making my horrible day feel a little bit brighter and worth it

once again. It is horrible being so down and out and dreary when I can't have the energy that I want.



It's not about the opioids anymore it's about auto immune inflammation that causes depression and lack of motivation.

I am in a bad depression loop but keep trying to stay motivated to do something about it.

It definitely isn't fun being sick no matter what is causing it.



I am free though !!!!!!!! And I am able to feel that strength from the heart to keep on going because if I do nothing else at least

I can rest and know that the happiness at least can make it all feel a little better. Little steps toward bigger goals

do help so much.


And feel the support from you and it was so great . . . and just the best ever as always. Wow, how do you do that.

Anyway.


@Squeaky made me smile today. And that little bit went a really long way and made it all feel much better.


blah bla bla bla blah I loved it !!!! I did. Did it.


No . . . . but that was really great. Thank you that was awesome !!

loools squeak squeak really awesome <3💛:)



k thnx



Bye. 🌻


So yes, I can't get any worse now . . . . only better. Thank you @Squeaky. This is what this appreciation is about here always. You are the Pro. around here too. And you know how to make smiles also and as well.


Be the change and make that difference. And that was @Squeaky today. That was the support from you that I will remember

always too.
Click to expand...
Than you Kiely :) That was really nice of you to say.

You’re in a hole where you really feel like today will be the day that you power through the exhaustion and depression and get up out of bed and start living again, but it all feels so overwhelming that somehow the day just disappears into the nothingness. The you feel like the day was wasted but tomorrow will be the day that you start living. Then tomorrow comes and goes until it’s been what feels like years and NOTHING has been accomplished. Eventually you start to think that this will just last forever.

Am I close?

All you can do is just keep pushing yourself. Don’t think about how long it’s been since your last Norco. Don’t think about how much better you will feel when you’re free. Don’t count hours of sleep you’re getting. DONT THINK ABOUT THE GUILT, because it’s NOT YOUR FAULT!. Just push yourself in this moment to do whatever needs to be done and those moments will add up to a whole hour/day/month.

This is that time of opiate withdrawals when you believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s dark and you can’t even tell if your eyes are open to see if you’re heading in the right direction.

Stay the course. Set your creative projects aside for now. Make a list of what absolutely needs to be completed today (pay the electric bill, get groceries, etc). Cross things off the list as you go. At the end of the day you can look at the list and see that you accomplished something. It will give you more energy for tomorrow and help you relax tonight.

Just keep swimming…. Just keep swimming. (Dory, from Finding Nemo)
 
terratt said:
my tapering plan went horribly wrong. i got myself into a situation where i'd gone 10 days without taking anything at all, and then i did something so stupid. i had this awful pain in the middle of my lower back and i had had pain exactly like that before and it was kidney stones - i've had kidney stones three times in the last two years and they were awful, i was hospitalized twice - so i just assumed that this was another kidney stone. went to my GP and he gave me some kind of NSAID, but it did nothing for the pain. i ended up going to the ER because the pain was so bad and they ran all the usual tests. on the one hand i'm glad i went, because they told me my liver and kidney function is completely normal and obviously that's always a concern when you're a drug user. but they basically said i didn't have any kidney stone issues (i've got a couple of very small stones in my kidneys but they're not causing any problems and likely won't) and maybe my pain was musculoskeletal and i should see a physiotherapist etc. in the hospital they gave me a opioid painkiller, and the pain actually went away for a while. so between that and knowing that my kidneys weren't failing or something, i felt a bit better.

then i came home and googled my symptoms. and the result was pretty clear. what i was experiencing was just withdrawal. i didn't realize because a) i'd never had those particular symptoms before. usually when i'm in withdrawal i get the runs and i sneeze a whole bunch. and b) i'd never actually made it to ten days totally sober before.

so i felt like i had to start tapering all over again because i obviously just rushed this and didn't properly think my plan through.

i'm starting a really important job on monday and i'm terrified of having to try and taper while i'm doing this job.

but i guess it's cool that i did get those 10 days under my belt. the thing is - i didn't even want to use. like i had no desire whatsoever to take drugs and that's how i feel most of the time now. i'm in that awful place where my body is obviously dependent on them, so i have to keep using but tapering down, when my instinct was just to go cold turkey.

i feel really dumb but i guess it's back to day one now.
Click to expand...
I had sometimes horrible back pain from my withdrawals. Sometimes it was so much that I couldn’t walk. I figured that since it had been a month or even longer since my last oxy, that it must be just legitimate back pain and I’d go back to my pills.

Don’t beat yourself up. It’s a game the pills play on us. They say the withdrawals last for a few days. It’s bullshit. The first time I quit the pills, I was sneezing and my palms were sweating like crazy for a whole month.

As for tapering, try this: Pick a specific withdrawl symptom that you know will hit you a few hours after you take a pill, such as significant back pain. Start on day 1 with a plan to take one dose (only enough to stop the suffering) in the morning and wait until that back pain hits in a couple of hours. Then set a mental timer for 1 hour. After that hour you allow yourself another dose, again only just enough to stop the withdrawal symptom. Wait til it returns, wait one hour, take another, etc.

On day one through 4, the wait/suffering time is 1 hour. Then it switches to 90 minutes. On day 8, it moves to 2 hours. The goal is to initially train yourself to stop being afraid of the pain (more like anticipated suffering), then ultimately UNtrain yourself from finding relief in a bottle of pills.

——————-

I have plenty of ideas. Not all good ones. Your mileage may vary.
 
Everyone seems to think that life is all about where you’re going. I disagree. I think it’s all about the journey. When we see today as part of the journey, then everything becomes important. Even the time spent doing nothing is important.
 
Squeaky said:
Everyone seems to think that life is all about where you’re going. I disagree. I think it’s all about the journey. When we see today as part of the journey, then everything becomes important. Even the time spent doing nothing is important.
Click to expand...
💗😭
 
Squeaky said:
Am I close?

Just keep swimming…. Just keep swimming. (Dory, from Finding Nemo)
Click to expand...

Close !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes and you ' Nailed It ' so perfectly.



thank you for mentioning the o.p. (originator) you are very good . . .

it's what we do here too. <3<3<3🔥

support help listen learn. it's what we do to help.

makes it so much better and not so broken.

but once again . . . oh yes and thank you !!!!!

🌻
 

It's not always easy to work through the frustration, anger and hurt we feel and dig down to find that support and understanding. Sincerely.

And yes, we all stumble every one of us. That's why it is a comfort to go hand in hand.
 
Hi, I see a lot has been said since I was last here, I'm not reading it all, I just hope you all are doing ok.

I'm still doing well, for me anyway. It's been months now, I'm not counting, since I broke my daily habit.

I'm still on about 1.25mg a day of bupe, down from 3-4mg a day in March.

Occassionally I have some of my preferred opiate. I bought some more, twice, but overall I've been keeping very little of it here and most of the week it's only bupe plus clonidine at night to knock me out and keep my legs still.

I find it's a very delicate balance to try to have a bit while on low dose bupe. It's not a blocking dose that I'm on so I can feel it, but I keep getting sick as the bupe takes over again, just a low grade withdrawal, nothing major, but certainly "uncomfortable" as they say.
 
papercuts said:
Hi, I see a lot has been said since I was last here, I'm not reading it all, I just hope you all are doing ok.

I'm still doing well, for me anyway. It's been months now, I'm not counting, since I broke my daily habit.

I'm still on about 1.25mg a day of bupe, down from 3-4mg a day in March.

Occassionally I have some of my preferred opiate. I bought some more, twice, but overall I've been keeping very little of it here and most of the week it's only bupe plus clonidine at night to knock me out and keep my legs still.

I find it's a very delicate balance to try to have a bit while on low dose bupe. It's not a blocking dose that I'm on so I can feel it, but I keep getting sick as the bupe takes over again, just a low grade withdrawal, nothing major, but certainly "uncomfortable" as they say.
Click to expand...
That’s really awesome Papercuts! What kind of “sick” are you talking about? I've never been on bupe, but everyone says that transition is pretty much like hell.
 
Thanks to a completely involuntary 9-day abstinence 3 weeks ago, I'm mostly over the PHYSICAL dependency on opioids, to where I can (physically) get by on (8 x 30mg) 240mg of Codeine/day.

At what rate should I attempt to taper down?
I was thinking start with 7 (210mg) pills, but how long should I wait before reducing to 6 (180mg) pills a day? I have no idea. 3 days? A week? Two weeks?
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
Thanks to a completely involuntary 9-day abstinence 3 weeks ago, I'm mostly over the PHYSICAL dependency on opioids, to where I can (physically) get by on (8 x 30mg) 240mg of Codeine/day.

At what rate should I attempt to taper down?
I was thinking start with 7 (210mg) pills, but how long should I wait before reducing to 6 (180mg) pills a day? I have no idea. 3 days? A week? Two weeks?
Click to expand...
I'd wait two weeks, but you might get away with one. I started tapering buprenorphine down after a week, reduced by 0.25mg each week. 4mg to 2mg was fine, I was a bit miserable but ok overall, I get through a lot of bud in a day, that helps. Since 2mg it's stalled a bit and I'm stuck on 1.25mg as something else came up and I just need to do that first, then come back to my taper later.
Codeine also has a long half life, that definitely helps.
Well done btw, fucking awesome when we get through withdrawals, break that dependancy and start living, sometime soon I hope, lol
Squeaky said:
That’s really awesome Papercuts! What kind of “sick” are you talking about? I've never been on bupe, but everyone says that transition is pretty much like hell.
Click to expand...
I've had a precipitated withdrawal before, I wouldn't want to repeat that which is why I wait longer for the opiate to get out my system before taking more bupe these days. I get nauseous, run to the loo, sweats, chills. Clonidine helps way more than gabapentin ever did. Gabapentin seems guaranteed to cheer you up, but clonidine takes away the physical symptoms when I get it right.
Delicate balancing act and even though I got more of my DOC yesterday, I'm just keeping it for a rainy day. I tried taking it with bupe in my system and while it's not a blocking dose I'm on, it was a bit flat, disappointing, which is perhaps part of how it works.
My choices;
Choice A; Keep a steady dose of bupe all the time and accept not getting higher than the sofa
Choice B; Keep stopping and starting bupe and making myself ill and miserable on a regular basis just for a bit of a buzz now and then
Seems obvious when I write it out like that!
I think the key factor is that it's stopped working the way it used to for me.
 
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