TDS The Suicide Support Thread

[Erikmen]

Indeed Somnilicious, excuse my language but vent the fuck out of your system. Talk to people PM those who are willing to help you.
This will make you feel lighter and better. Different people give you different perspectives and they are all good.
Don't give up!!

 

[somnilicious]

I am just speechless as to all the responses I have recieved. It means more than you guys know. I am doing better tonight. I had to jump off the sobriety train for a moment and smoke a little Indica to chill out. I got severe PAWS symptoms that I think are related to low T and other HPA axis related issues. I really need to see an endocronologist. Also I blew the head gasket on my car and my dad has been in the hospital. Kinda isolated at the moment. I am going to have to start using the net to reach out. I can't get to any meetings at the moment or get out and sociolize much. Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart.

 

[Nixiam]

No problem mate, glad we could help for now. Something I think a lot of us get mixed up is sober decisions and rational ones.

Now that I think about it, the majority of rash decisions I've made were sober ones.

Take it easy! We'll see how this goes over the next few days.

Or however long it takes.

 

[Moreaux]

I am just speechless as to all the responses I have recieved. It means more than you guys know. I am doing better tonight. I had to jump off the sobriety train for a moment and smoke a little Indica to chill out. I got severe PAWS symptoms that I think are related to low T and other HPA axis related issues. I really need to see an endocronologist. Also I blew the head gasket on my car and my dad has been in the hospital. Kinda isolated at the moment. I am going to have to start using the net to reach out. I can't get to any meetings at the moment or get out and sociolize much. Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart.

I think weed can be a life saver with some PAWS symptoms. I took it in early benzo PAWS for a few months. If weed isn't destroying your life and causes some comfort with PAWS symptoms I think it's a reasonable solution - it's better than a full blown relapse. I know for most people sobriety seems to be a fairly black and white issue, but I think there are levels of sobriety and it's important you find the solution that lets you manage life. According to some people if we drink caffine or eat chocolate we're technically not sober...I'm not giving up my 16oz of coffee in the morning and I don't believe that nullifies my hard work on getting off of the substances rendered me nonfunctional and were killing me and destroying me life :/

Sorry you're having a difficult time, I hope everything works out with your Dad! Hope you can get your car fixed soon - the head gasket is pretty critical. I blew mine in my mustang years ago and it was a major ordeal to get it repaired as they had to essentially take the engine apart to replace it. I would call around and price check unless you have a warranty on your vehicle (would still call to verify its covered). Call some memeber's from the meetings you go to, someone can give you a ride. We are always here for you as well. Take care!

 

[CoatHangerAbortion]

I ate death cap mushrooms yesterday and took about 30g of paracetamol the day before and ate 4 more death caps earlier today and puked them up maybe 3 hours later and took 40g of paracetamol about 2 hours ago and got drunk and I am stating to feel like puking again and if I do I will take another 40g of it so I die an agonizing death unless God(s) and/or Goddess(es) do something that may or may not be unusual to save me in some way because nobody will listen or talk about extreme problems about torture of all kinds being covered up by governments and the media and I know the cures to cancers, HIV, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, Ebola, Rabies, and more and it is all being covered up so I am killing myself unless God(s) make sure that I can prove it or they do it themselves, in which case I can just die. Or they can be evil and let me die and let all of this stay covered up while the whole world suffers including those tortured because they are non-human people who have language and intelligence with telepathy and I am telepathic.

 

[Nixiam]

Woah! Hold on there pal!

It's really not okay! Just stop taking the APAP for a second. I don't know if you're even there, but give me a try?

Also, please seek medical help immediately!

Listen, I think many people drive themselves panicky and frantic with all the things going on, but you cannot expect something so unfalsifiable as god to swoop in and save you.

But, I think you already know that. You dying won't force a hidden god to come out of hiding, I promise. There are far more rational ways to go about coming to peace with that aspect of life, as opposed to drugs or alcohol.

OR suicide for that matter

Go ahead and tell us the cures so we can keep it uncovered friend. Don't be a martyr simply because the government is keeping you from releasing it.

Also, you are very gifted if you have telepathy.

__

Now, if you have taken any dissociative drugs, I reccommend stopping and getting help from specialists.

First call poison control if you can.

 

[Moreaux]

I ate death cap mushrooms yesterday and took about 30g of paracetamol the day before and ate 4 more death caps earlier today and puked them up maybe 3 hours later and took 40g of paracetamol about 2 hours ago and got drunk and I am stating to feel like puking again and if I do I will take another 40g of it so I die an agonizing death unless God(s) and/or Goddess(es) do something that may or may not be unusual to save me in some way because nobody will listen or talk about extreme problems about torture of all kinds being covered up by governments and the media and I know the cures to cancers, HIV, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, Ebola, Rabies, and more and it is all being covered up so I am killing myself unless God(s) make sure that I can prove it or they do it themselves, in which case I can just die. Or they can be evil and let me die and let all of this stay covered up while the whole world suffers including those tortured because they are non-human people who have language and intelligence with telepathy and I am telepathic.

TriptamineDreamer -

I am sorry you are not feeling well. I think it would be in your best interest to stop taking all recreational drugs and go to the hospital - you are not well. Just go to the Emergency Department - they can help. Do you have any family close by that you can talk to?

 

[strity1994]

I ate death cap mushrooms yesterday and took about 30g of paracetamol the day before and ate 4 more death caps earlier today and puked them up maybe 3 hours later and took 40g of paracetamol about 2 hours ago and got drunk and I am stating to feel like puking again and if I do I will take another 40g of it so I die an agonizing death unless God(s) and/or Goddess(es) do something that may or may not be unusual to save me in some way because nobody will listen or talk about extreme problems about torture of all kinds being covered up by governments and the media and I know the cures to cancers, HIV, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, Ebola, Rabies, and more and it is all being covered up so I am killing myself unless God(s) make sure that I can prove it or they do it themselves, in which case I can just die. Or they can be evil and let me die and let all of this stay covered up while the whole world suffers including those tortured because they are non-human people who have language and intelligence with telepathy and I am telepathic.

R u ok dude? You've far exceeded the lethal dose of APAP... RIP

 

[Nixiam]

Yea.

I have no idea how to feel. Hope he's okay.

But with that much APAP and death cap mushrooms...

I'd like to treat this as a troll, but I don't think that would be proper of me.

 

[strity1994]

Yea.

I have no idea how to feel. Hope he's okay.

But with that much APAP and death cap mushrooms...

I'd like to treat this as a troll, but I don't think that would be proper of me.

Hes most likely dead.

Edit: yep he hasn't logged on since

 

[Moreaux]

Let's not speculate guys. CoatHangerAbortion is an alt account for Triptamine*Dreamer, who has had and continues to have deep rooted severe mental health issues with psychosis. He frequently posts and seldom responds. He's not intentionally trolling and most likely will post again in the future.

 

[Nixiam]

As long as he's okay.

 

[CosmicG]

A while back in my life I realized it was impossible to have a life I could live. I was intensely on meds and all I thought was how worse things were quickly turning to. But at the end and to put this really short I OD'ed, and was in a coma for 48 hours. Woke up physically disabled and this despair became even worse, and public. What I'm trying to say is that somehow I was led to believe that no matter how you do it I feel like you'll always have to confront yourself with in a parallel life where you must keep going on.

Profound. I have also throughout my life found this to be so. Thanks for this.

 

[Erikmen]

Anytime CG!

 

[trunkofmycar]

I have destroyed every chance for good things to happen in my life... I've been doing this for 10 years now.

If I wasn't so afraid of actually physically dying, I would love to leave this miserable world. I'm the one making my own world miserable, what is wrong with me?

My son was removed from my custody today. Failed a drug screen... Have nobody in the family I can sign him over to, and the father won't pass a screen either... He will be signed over to a stranger now.

I've never felt so empty and hopeless, and being unable to 'pull the trigger' only makes me loathe myself more.

Worst day of my life, I think. And I can't even end it. Had to type this out, just to vent, grief suffocating me...

I don't need advice on what to do, I know what is required of me. I just don't believe I'm capable.

 

[Nixiam]

You sound like you're at your all time low.

But, now it's the time to stare into the abyss and see what's staring back at you.

I don't know you, but I think you are fully capable. You just need to find that strength, that incentive.

Unfortunately I can't give it to you.

I cannot stress enough the emotional impact suicide would have on your son, though.

We're all here to talk.

Your capabilities come from within your priorities.

Make becoming an olympian a priority and you are capable.

I'm so, so sorry. I can only imagine how terrible you feel.

But look up, you know? Sometimes we have to take life on the chin. You've been hit with some mad body shots, but now it's time to hit the gym and make things right.

You can do it.

Garunteed, if I didn't think so, I would not have bothered replying.

Hugs going your way, Miss.

 

[Upanddownx2]

I have been in a very similar situation. I too lost custody of my only son. I had to move away and drove over my phone. I lived where I worked and did nothing social. Amazingly after 4 years of this hermit/sober life, I was able to get my son back. It's not hopeless, just unbelievably hard!

 

[trunkofmycar]

Thanks, that means something to me, really.

Im guilty, & I couldn't feel any more ashamed of myself. There's no way to hide what's going on, how can I face my family/friends... Talking about this to them? They love him, too.

But not like I love him. Life isn't worth living without my little boy in it. I haven't been sober in 10 years

I hope tomorrow I will feel like I can fix this..

That I have it in myself to try, at least

 

[Nixiam]

I wish I could do more. If there is anything at all, please don't hesitate to PM.

You're bravely facing this.

 

[herbavore]

I have destroyed every chance for good things to happen in my life... I've been doing this for 10 years now.

If I wasn't so afraid of actually physically dying, I would love to leave this miserable world. I'm the one making my own world miserable, what is wrong with me?

My son was removed from my custody today. Failed a drug screen... Have nobody in the family I can sign him over to, and the father won't pass a screen either... He will be signed over to a stranger now.

I've never felt so empty and hopeless, and being unable to 'pull the trigger' only makes me loathe myself more.

Worst day of my life, I think. And I can't even end it. Had to type this out, just to vent, grief suffocating me...

I don't need advice on what to do, I know what is required of me. I just don't believe I'm capable.

That is devastating. I'm a mom and I can only imagine your grief but don't fall prey to self-loathing and guilt. You are where you are and you can make the future better. The worst thing ever for your son would be your death--everything else can be healed. Use this time to get into recovery. Beating yourself up and telling yourself that nothing but death can make this better is just addiction talking--it is not you. I know that right now you feel that all the damage has been done but you can turn it around. Your son needs to know that his mama is a fighter and that she will fight to be a role model for him when life gets tough (and it will for him, too).

I am so sorry that you don't have any family that can step in but let the courts know that you are fighting for yourself and for your life. Courts want to reunite kids with their parents when it is safe to do so. Fight for that day. (()) Hugs from another imperfect mama (I'm 62 and I haven't met a perfect one yet).