?? ? THE SOCIAL CLUB v. Come Say Hi! ? ??

[Emptty]

Overdosing, I'm the only opiod user I know who hasn't gone out at least once. I've seen one guy do it 3 times in 3 days with furanylfentanyl, he was damn lucky that both me and one other person who was with us carried naloxone. I don't know how I've managed 7 years without an overdose but I pray I can keep it that way because seeing other people OD has never been a pretty sight.

 

[TheGlenn]

ive never od'd so i have never gone through that mess. i always did a three phase timing when iv, meaning iving only 1/3 the amount and then waiting with the needle still in the vein too feel the purity and then contnuing if needed. i guess the rush gets garbled but there were a few times i didnt need to finish the shot.

wd from done seems much scarier to me. peoplevhave died from it in jail. and its a million times more agonizing

 

[Burnt Offerings]

ODing is wild, it's like one second you're totally fine and enjoying yourself, then BAM! lights out! (I've only ever fell out once, and I was alone, luckily I came to on my own eventually, was unconscious for 20 minutes or so though)

 

[Emptty]

ODing is wild, it's like one second you're totally fine and enjoying yourself, then BAM! lights out! (I've only ever fell out once, and I was alone, luckily I came to on my own eventually, was unconscious for 20 minutes or so though)

This is how everyone describes it. Can't say I know from experience what being on that end of it is like but from the outside it's pretty wild too, just for different reasons. Nowhere near what people say it feels like, watching someone OD definitely has that watching someone dying feel to it. It looks very little like just falling asleep or blacking out which is what I've been told it feels like. Suppose that's why it scares me so much even knowing it probably doesn't feel nearly as bad as it looks.

 

[Slow_Mobius]

For opioid users, what is cuurently your greatest fear?

for me its wding from methadone in prison. i think id chose death over that. ive never been to prison, but are opioid addicted people brutalized in prison in the US? ive been watching some of these police brutality vids and its truly terrifing

it seems cops and prison guard attract really sadistic people who enjoy watching people die from methadone wd in prison.

This thread has been merged with the OD social thread since it's an off-topic discussion.

 

[ShroomySatori]

My greatest fear would be the secret coming out to family. It's such a dirty little secret to keep for so long.

I haven't come anywhere close to an overdose in 5 years, so it's not much of a fear for me at this point. I'm still careful... and it ties in with my real fear. If I overdose, then likely the stoned cat will be let out of the dopebag if I survived.

 

[Speed King]

All opiate users should have friends. All you would have to do is carry naloxone or be able to call 911. Better chance of survival.

Im glad I switched to dank bud and use it as best I can medicinally. I don't like a real head stone while I am working. The best was the 10 mg beginner candy. 10 pieces = 100 mg from Colorado.

For me it provides mostly a smooth body pain relief while leaving my head relatively clear.

Thank God my state legalized medical.

 

[Speed King]

Let me know how you like it! It would be cool to hear from others. Everyone knows about caffeine, but theobromine doesn't seem to be well known. The tea tends to have a smoky flavour, and it should also be an inexpensive tea.

I'm exploring organic guayusa as well, which contains caffeine in high amounts, theobromine like yerba mate, as well as L-theanine. Theanine has definitely been shown to have several health benefits and can be purchased as a supplement as a chemical in capsule form. Gyokuro is a type of Japanese green tea which is rather expensive and luxurious with a wonderful grassy and vegetal flavour, and an emerald green colour, that contains very high levels of theanine. It is steeped a special way, and L-theanine apparently synergizes with caffeine to promote focus and also physical relaxation (although, one would have to test this out as the research is preliminary at this point in terms of subjective effects).

Apparently high theanine levels increase serotonin, dopamine, GABA, and glycine in areas of the mind. I've always loved the ritual of brewing Gyokuro, since it is done so at around 130F... it's a delicate leaf, differentiated by being left to grow in the shade for the final few weeks of the green tea plant's life (and therefore changing the chemical constituents of the leaves, by reducing exposure to solar radiation while it finishes growing).

Gyokuro is one of my favourite overall teas. Guayusa is a tree from the Amazon Rainforest and the leaves are really promising as a tea - containing caffeine, theobromine, and L-theanine. Pretty cool stuff... so I'm experimenting with Guayusa as well as Yerba Mate these days. Both are really interesting as mild stimulants with caffeine levels approaching that of coffee, and promoters of health and well-being - with slight but significant differences from caffeinated beverages (although a small part of caffeine metabolizes to theobromine, it definitely doesn't have the same effect).

Yerba Mate always hit stronger and cleaner then tea or coffee. Your talk about that rain forest tea and the othe tea is making me thirsty. I'll try it. Black and Green tea, always works for me.

 

[ShroomySatori]

I will occasionally put 5 or 10mg of really nice glass into a capsule and take it orally - this really helps me focus and if I'm sending out job applications, I will be way more productive. I have never abused the drug like sniffed it or anything (I don't really consider those low oral doses as abuse). I do that around once a month, the last thing I need is another habit. But I am super-cool with my yerba mate habit.

Yerba mate is presently a daily ritual. I am drinking like 5 cups a day, brewed double strength. I'm happy that it's cheap for a tea. Oh guayusa is amazing!!! It brews up dark, almost like you were steeping ground coffee beans. It's a really sweet tasting tea too, and I find personally that it is more stimulating than yerba (although I still prefer yerba... I am a yerba fiend).

I drink a lot of green tea too. Apparently studies show it is basically correlated with living longer (if I'm not mistaken). I see it as a health elixir and it's great too for stimulation especially a few cups in. I am not much of a coffee person, but I've been getting more into it recently. I like coffee black, that's for sure, just like I like my teas straight with no additives. I really enjoy Gyokuro (a type of Japanese green tea) and also Sencha. Oolong can actually be really nice too (it has in-between oxidation levels from green to black tea... same plant... and apparently the antioxidants in oolong tea protect the teeth against decay. It's known to be good for that, and can have a wonderful taste. It takes a really nice black tea for me to appreciate it (I had a Ceylon black tea recently from Sri Lanka that was freaking amazing, but I'm generally more into green and oolong teas).

I like peppermint, spearmint, chamomile teas later on at night. Sometimes, I'll experiment with mixtures of my straight teas as well, or try them iced.

 

[keeping]

For opioid users, what is cuurently your greatest fear?

for me its wding from methadone in prison.

mine would be waking up from an OD in ICU with brain damage... again.
and didn't you post about wd'ing in prison a weekish ago? i seem to remember someone talking about that
but yeah god depending on what country you're in that would be a living hell

 

[ShroomySatori]

For my greatest fear... I'm also scared that I'm going to turn to the needle. I know that it's my own choice, but I have all the sterile injection equipment on hand. Ive driven myself broke and I need to buy myself some time to keep working at getting a job. I know that I can probably stretch my small stash out for a little longer if I shot it by injecting 1 third the amount I normally sniff (40mg is what I normally sniff). Just having these ideas even if I don't act on them is worrisome because I don't like the idea of sticking needles in my forearms. I think it's a really bad idea and I'm trying to cut back on the H instead so that my habit is less expensive and when I start making money again it will be just the same as usual. I'm just going through a rough time in life, and I know how it is. You do it once you never go back.

Thing is my H habit has been manageable for 5 years and I don't want to change that. I only insufflate #4. This is a money problem and that will change. I will start making money again soon, and be able to afford it. It's just... tough times are really tough when you're hooked on this stuff. I sniff a point or 2 a day so it's affordable - a point is really what I aim for, so I'm going to work on cutting back. It just scares me that the idea of shooting the drug even runs through my mind. I could seriously fuck myself up and I've been doing pretty well for an addict of this drug. I'd say I'm fully functional and life is good so long as I have it. I don't want that to change, so it's time to cut back a bit until I get paid with a new job. Then I can use a point a day, 2 points on days when I have a lot to do and my spinal pain gets really nasty.

I like sniffing it too. I don't want that to change. I don't want to see it as a waste, and I know that I probably will if I try that just once. It's not worth all the hassle and complications at all. So far I'm doing okay at cutting back, but it's definitely a fear because I know I'd do it again and get right into it and that scares the fuck outta me. It's been five years and I occasionally have these thoughts, but never act on them. The needles I have were for shooting dilaudid but I decided that shooting a pill was too risky. It's just not for me in general. I like my rails.

 

[Slow_Mobius]

Had a fun time drinking. Feeling pretty sober now, and I'm debating whether or not I should take an Ambien or two :/ I'll definitely be smoking a couple bowls regardless

Anyone have anything fun planned for the weekend?

 

[ShroomySatori]

Ambien is one thing I've never tried and I'm a downer drug guy through and through.

I'm trying to stay sane with a low H supply while being broke and at the same time desperately looking for a new job. I'm stressed to the max and considering shooting up to extend my supply, but I don't have any opiate using friends to show me how. I just have the sterilized equipment (27G 5/8" tip leur locks, cookers, sterile cotton, tourniquet). I can prep a shot fine but it is the physical act. It freaks me the fuck out and I really feel like I should have someone show me how to do this. I've taken such a shit kicking from life I really can't take it anymore. I'm trying to resist, stay strong but I can't I've already been sniffing dope all day every day for 5 years. The fuck does it matter. I'd rather not hit cold turkey and SUFFER.

Sorry, just a bit night. I mean, you know it's a bad night when you're considering poking your vein for the first time. I can't handle it anymore, any of it - the chronic pain in my spine that ruined everything for me, the borderline personality disorder, the panic disorder, the fucking depression, having not gotten laid in years (although I recently gained 20 pounds from doing yoga at home... since I was on dope, I could work out like I used to in that method... and I look great, and I'm trying hard so that might change). I'm still not over the miserable fucking way my last relationship ended, I don't think I ever will and we were together five years before suddenly she flew the coop. I'm sick of trying really hard to find a job yet being unemployed with two serious university degrees. I'm "overqualified" for normal jobs but that's all I want! To work at a fuckin coffee shop I'd be SO happy right now all I need to be happy is money for heroin... it's all becoming too much. Too depressing. I can't handle it. I really can't and I want to stick these needles in my arm but I'm inferior even in that regard. I need to extend my supply through shooting it because I'm pretty sure I could shoot 10mg over sniffing 30 to 40mg and get something similar in terms of keeping me out of that horrific withdrawal that can only be described as sheer torture. Like I never ever take breaks unless they are forced so withdrawal is SO bad at this point 5 years in. The chronic pain. The fucking chronic pain.

Sorry guys. Just not having the best night. I want to shoot ten milligrams so that I can be a little more relieved I won't hit cold turkey. I fear cold turkey a lot because I know with all my mental and physical health issues, and my present life situation which is just a SHIT life... I mean I'm going through rough times, I'll see better days! I'll get with a cute chick again, I'll get a job for sure, I'm even getting jacked like before from strictly yoga. Really flexible too. I can't believe I gained 20 pounds from yoga and this is after becoming a vegetarian. I think I have a bright future but I'm going through some dark times and shooting my supply could be a life-breaker right there.

I'm normally fine sniffing a point or 2 a day (more like 2 or 3 these days) and that's a manageable habit with a job. I'm working my ass off to get hired and getting nowhere. I'm so fucking sick of everything I just want it to end. Sorry for the negativity but I'm fucked up. Weekends are not weekends for me because I don't have any friends anymore, and I don't have a job so every day is exactly the same.
I had a couple part time job leads tonight (after my original lead flopped and I just said fuck it and asked a couple people at some stores how they got hired) - and that was nice, because it isn't this modern day online bullshit. It's meeting me in person and I mean I don't look like a stereotypical junkie. I'm built, very healthy looking so I can get away with it and be sneaky. I mean, for 5 years I've kept it hidden. But I'm fed up. I just want my life to be over and done with. I'll keep fighting because I'm a fighter at heart. Things will get better.

But I fucking wish I was dead in the meantime. I really tried hard to befriend a number of cute women this spring. I was just looking for a little fun and some springtime romance. I was rejected every time. I don't fucking get it I'm a nice guy and approaching 200lbs from daily yoga and a super clean vegetarian diet. So I just gave up. It's better not to suffer rejection after rejection. I'm not stupid, I get the picture. I'm not good enough, I haven't had sex in years and out of all of this, that is by far the worst to me. It makes me want to slip my wrists and end it. Opiates don't make it go away because I work out enough that my sex drive is rampant. It's just hell being this lonely. It makes me welcome death with open arms. I can't handle the loneliness anymore it's half the reason I abuse the drugs and don't just take them for pain. I'm not getting sex and intimacy that I need to be happy. So I just fuck off and do drugs. There's literally zero hope in my mind. I have a lot of confidence, smart as fuck, creative, like I have low self esteem guys and I'm a fuckin loser I'm just trying to boost myself up here. I have a lot going for me. I'm 6'1 and approaching 200 lbs, very flexible too and physical attraction is not the issue. And I'm very social. It's just I'm still learning because I had too many problems growing up I didn't know how to handle this kind of stuff. But, I guess people just sense how lonely I am. Damaged goods. Must be a total loser if he's like that, right? Except I'm not. I jam the fuck out of guitar, I am becoming a yogi master, and I had one 5 year relationship so I'm not exactly clueless in bed. I don't get it and I never will. I just wanted a girl to spend time with this spring and summer and it's just not going to happen again. Again. Again again again.

I'm really thinking of sticking that needle in my arm. Too much is going on and it's better than hanging myself.

Anyways, sorry to vent like this. I apologize. I'm just really not doing well and I'm scared. All I can do is hate unless I am taking heroin. And I'm running out, I still haven't found employment and when I run out I'll stare at a wall until somehow I get more having no money or initiative or motivation to get more. It is hell, I can't go through it again. I need to just do it I an prep a shot easily I've done it. I have trouble with the registering part. Anyways, that's for me to try and figure out on my own. I'm just a fucking loser in life anyway and the sooner I die the better. I apologize for venting in this thread. Usually I am pretty cheerful but the issue are too much for me to bear. I tried SO hard with this one girl and it wasn't like stupid try it was really working on her several times a week for months... got nowhere. I'm just a piece of fucking trash that can't even get laid let alone into a relationship. I'm done. I just want to be done. I fucking hate my iife. I'll take a sniff tonight but when my supply is really low, I'll have to shoot it. I have no choice unless I want to hit full blown withdrawal with this many problems. I see myself killin myself if that happens. And I'm not just sitting here not working on things. I've been applying to so many jobs, talking to girls literally as often as I can and just trying to be chill and friendly and funny, the yoga is improving my health insanely I can't believe it, and becoming a vegetarian was such an awesome choice. But still, I'm not good enough for them. What the fuck does it take. Whatever it takes, I'll never have it. Now, why do I have trouble shooting myself up if I hate myself so much? I need someone to show me how, but I don't have any friends. So I'll run out of H and feel like a retard for not trying to iv it and needing so much more.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

Back in the day (turn of the 20th century) they marketed "cough medicine" formulations which were mixtures of morphine, heroin and/or chloroform. They were actually quite effective, as you might imagine...

Of course, many people back then didnt have a "cough", they had tuberculosis, which these medicines did nothing to help obviously. So eventually they died.

The point of mentioning that little anecdote is: dont try and numb yourself with heroin while a bigger, more significant problem slowly eats you. You're talking about killing yourself and that's not good. Something is obviously not working for you and it might be time to make a change...just a suggestion.

 

[kingshawaiian]

Hiya, been lurking BL for a good while but just recently joined in and started posting.
IV heroin addict here currently clean due to forced relocation (for how long who knows but thats beside the point). Just wanted to say hi.

 

[ShroomySatori]

I am peaking on MDMA harder than I ever have in my entire life. You should see my eyes : ) L O L

And that's really saying something because I am very experienced with MDMA. I haven't rolled in a year and a half, and before then it was once a season. My eyes are wiggling? WTF. I can't focus enough to see the words. But I can still type. omgomgomg this is actually what I needed. Btut holy fuck.Holy fuck is all I gotta say about the PEAK!!! Enough said. OMG

I can't type much, I've been going through so many problems I thought it might be therapeutic. I've already recognized that I need to seek help and come out of hiding about this addiction of mine. It is time to throw in the towel when I am spending thousands of dollars on heroin every month and my girlfriend, the fucking love of my life or at least my 20's, just ran away.

 

[Slow_Mobius]

Hiya, been lurking BL for a good while but just recently joined in and started posting.
IV heroin addict here currently clean due to forced relocation (for how long who knows but thats beside the point). Just wanted to say hi.

Welcome to BL kingshawaii why were you forced to relocate?

 

[kingshawaiian]

Welcome to BL kingshawaii why were you forced to relocate?

My heroin habit, lmfao

 

[ShroomySatori]

Hi kingshawaiian, my eyes are presently wiggly so wildly that I can hardly type so sorry if I spelt that wrong. I am trying to get off heroin I did the MDMA tonight and got some real perspective. That's for damn sure. I somehow manage to still type okay, kist that sneaky junkie in me I guess! I am getting rocked by 150mg MDMA after 18 months break. I had a discussioon with a fellow bluilighter, that forever remains between me and him, but we tested each other-s manhood in ways that I don't think either of us understood. It was the most spiritual experience of my life and I can still feel the energy flowing through me. We touched on so many topics that I could not have been left more exhausted, I am seriously exhausted, i feel like the devil and god have been raging inside of me and my friend, testing each other's validity and she worth.... it was exhausting and probably the most spiritual experience of my life. The connection was much more powerful and meaningful than I get from most sex, although completely non-sexual I should mention, although sexuality was also discussed.. It was the most profound experience of my life this year easily and maybe I just need to find the right girl now that my manhood has been so thoroughly questioned and held my ground. Fuck am I ever exhausted fand my eyes are wiggling way too much still.

This has probably been the most cosmic and powerful experience I've ever had as a man. 150mg MDMA of this purity after 18months ROCKED me I was FLOORED. I kinda just need a cute girl to keep me a bit calmer? I was seriously in a total mind-challenge with my friend from here. We locked horns and tested each other for hours on end at least that's how I saw and felt it he was on I think meth and said I was channelling MDPV to him. That's all I can say except LOL oh man you destroyed me and it was hard to fight back LOL. At some points it was not definable by words. He convinced me not to shoot up heroin. He really did. I'm sniffing the last of mine and never going back.

 

[skn]

anyone else just too poor to do heroin constantly?

I love the drug, but $150 for a gram of powder? WTF? I'm not Donald trump....and I'm not doing fentanyl.