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The Sobriety Thread

After over a month of daily marijuana consumption, I've been sober for a week now. I've been getting weird mood swings, but it's been getting better and easier to deal with. I haven't had an intense desire to do pot since I ran out seven days ago.

Most of my drug use now has been cigarettes, and I'm no longer too lazy to meditate. I'm hoping my moods stabilize soon.
 
Fuck this damn crack - smoking way too much lately. I just told my dealer yesterday I will not call him any more until after the New Year - gotta try to be sober for two weeks plus and I hope the time away from that shit is so good and that I feel so good that I won't call him for a long time after that still - should try to go a month without. Earlier in the year when I went 3 weeks I really felt good during that time.
 
hmm.. I'm 24 days clean yay! hehe. I've been using heroin for 5 years. Before my relapse I had 80 days. Before that 80 days, there was probably no real acquired clean time. I'm doing this for ME. Not to take a break, not my probation officer. I want to stay sober for good. Not for a few days or a week. I know if I continue to use I will end up dead most likely. I've been to three detoxes, two psych. hosp. and three rehabs in the past 5 years. Ive been on suboxone maintenance and methadone maintenance. Neither worked for me. Right now the only thing that has actually kept me clean is going to AA meetings 7 days a week. Dropping ALL my friends that used. Just a complete 360 from using. It worked for me, when nothing else did. I've finally found happiness for once in my life.
 
congrats man, thats pretty much what i did for a while...aa 7 days a week for a long time. 10 months today actually
 
Sober now for 12 days and counting. No big plans for New Years either - going to a party and will probably stop after one or two glasses of wine. Let's see how far into 2009 I get before hitting the crack pipe again.
 
I am able to defend, express and eleborate myself when encountered. I am willing to, with a lil' push from another, feel that...........um.........YES
 
Long story short, my mother locked away all my psychoactive prescription drugs (which I abused a lot) and now I only take it as prescribed. It still alters my consciousness in subtle ways, but I have not been this sober in probably 6 months, a long time for me. I just fantasize about the future since I have recently found a new source of income and can now move the fuck out with a roommate who has plenty of drug-using friends. Completely involuntary sobriety, relative sobriety, at least. I convinced my mother to start me back up on Adderall daily for ADD probably (definitely?) because of my desperation to not be sober.

Last night was the first time I had been 100% clean in a very long time. I had extreme suicidal depression and anxiety so intense my resting heart rate was 150bpm. Just horror.

I really do plan on getting off the damn benzos though, my psychiatrist will taper me off next month. I'm hoping it won't be too bad of an experience.
 
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