Akoto
Bluelighter
^Arsole Dickite! Makes me want to fucitol because I too was in dinile.
The science and technology jokes thread...
- Thread starter duck_racer
- Start date
rant*N*rave
Bluelighter
How many doctors does it take to diagnose a malignancy?
Ten, because one less would benign. (Alternatively: At least three. It can't be one because you have tumor.)
And just go to xkcd.com. I could fill up pages with my favorites. :D
And yes, all those funny molecules are real. I have covered a large number of them in my chemistry classes.
Ten, because one less would benign. (Alternatively: At least three. It can't be one because you have tumor.)
And just go to xkcd.com. I could fill up pages with my favorites. :D
And yes, all those funny molecules are real. I have covered a large number of them in my chemistry classes.
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TheLoveBandit
Retired Never Was, Coulda been wannabe
Couldn't decide between here and CEP to drop this one (nsfw'd for sheer 'huge' size)
"If Politicians Were HTTP Status Codes"
Also, wanted to play this one in the LOUNGE, but here it is for you guys:
"The Internet Bible"
And another big one
"Internet Safety Guidelines (NSFW)}
"If Politicians Were HTTP Status Codes"
NSFW:
Also, wanted to play this one in the LOUNGE, but here it is for you guys:
"The Internet Bible"
And another big one
"Internet Safety Guidelines (NSFW)}
NSFW:
TheLoveBandit
Retired Never Was, Coulda been wannabe
egor
Bluelighter
Funny as hell
rant*N*rave
Bluelighter
Wow, this thread is old! 
And I want a cake like that for my next birthday!!! :D
And I want a cake like that for my next birthday!!! :D
TheLoveBandit
Retired Never Was, Coulda been wannabe
rant*N*rave
Bluelighter
I feel soul-crushing disappointment every time I eat Subway food. Ick.
Did you hear about the biologist who had twins?
She baptized one and kept the other as a control.
Did you hear about the biologist who had twins?
She baptized one and kept the other as a control.
qwe
Bluelight Crew
this may surprise you but im ok with teaching both theories
let them teach adam and eve, garden of apple, talking snake
as long as they also teach that it's a big complex universe that sits on the back of a giant turtle
come on, the hindus have a right to their theory. be fair. christians, i have to warn you..
two naked people, piece of fruit, garden....... GIANT SPACE TURTLE
really want that fight?
christians would hit back... "so adam and even were in the garden... and they were NAKED!"
-
put "allah" in the religious pledge of allegiance and see the christians start saying "prayer should be at home"
let them teach adam and eve, garden of apple, talking snake
as long as they also teach that it's a big complex universe that sits on the back of a giant turtle
come on, the hindus have a right to their theory. be fair. christians, i have to warn you..
two naked people, piece of fruit, garden....... GIANT SPACE TURTLE
really want that fight?
christians would hit back... "so adam and even were in the garden... and they were NAKED!"
-
put "allah" in the religious pledge of allegiance and see the christians start saying "prayer should be at home"
qwe
Bluelight Crew
knock knock... who's there... the atheist... the atheist who... the ath..oh i'm sorry i usually don't interrupt you while you're doing something important. that was rude of me
*knock knock* hi my name's keith and i'm here today with the atheists... and we're just here to let you know, you can go back to bed
*atheism, Sleep In*
*knock knock* hi my name's keith and i'm here today with the atheists... and we're just here to let you know, you can go back to bed
*atheism, Sleep In*
TheLoveBandit
Retired Never Was, Coulda been wannabe
qwe
Bluelight Crew
if i climb the tallest mountain, pick a fight with god, and win...
could i use him as my flashlight?
could i use him as my flashlight?
hobhead
Bluelighter
epic humor here !
phase_dancer
Bluelight Crew
Inspector Sherlock Ohms
Here's a rather cheesy old slant on an even older joke. More here
Inspector Sherlock Ohms
(From the Boston College Chemical Bulletin from at least 15 years ago)
Inspector Sherlock Ohms of Standard International Yard was driving across the Wheatstone Bridge in his '09 Maxwell, trying to remember Ava Gadro's number, so he could call her and data for the Policeman's Ball, when suddenly he blew a tire.
"Oh Nernst!" said Sherlock, "I don't have a tire ion with me, but luckily, ammonia short distance from the Ideal Gas Station, run by my friend Sol Vent, who at the moment is freon bail."
Just as Inspector Ohms emerged from the Ideal Gas Station, his tire all fixed, a rubber policeman whizzed by him with his Carnot Cycle going at full speed. Ohms knew he was deuteride by, but he wondered watt made him rush so. He shouted atom, but he was gone, His reaction was instantaneous as he whipped out after him. By radio activity, he learned that Mike Rofarad, Recipro City's top-rankine rookie, was chasing a suspected joule thief. Ohms chased him down Elect Road, around the Dextro Rotary, back over Salt Bridge and up into Farren Heights. He turned left at the Old Ball Mill, down past the Mono-clinic, the Palladium, where there was a mathematical convention, and all the way to the liquid junction at the Endothermic Street. They were almost across the city line when Sherlock's car swerved, and crashed into a van der Waal. The Raman effect ruined his differential, so he couldn't go beyond the limits in it. He quickly volted out of the wreck, and took up the chase on foot. He soon came across Mike, standing in a magnetic field, holding Ann Hydrate and Al Doll at bay.
"Watts the meaning of this?" queried the inspector, and the Copper was quick to explain:
"Well, Sir, I stopped in at the Invar Bar, a local dyne and dance spot, for a couple of quartz of Lambert Beer when I noticed Ann Hydrate sitting alone at a two-place log table. I knew some joule thieves had made a radon Ethyl Benzene's country estate, and I spotted one of the Benzene rings on her along with a para Ethyl's earrings. Anode an explanation of this but before I could torque to her, she was into her coat of rust and out the door. True to the Kopp's Rule, I was quick to follow when I saw her get into her Mercury chrome 8. I knew I was infra tough chase. However, her engine started Fehling just beyond the city limits and I caught her. She had lead me to the missing joules and her accomplice, Al Doll, who was about to barium in a hollow, common log under the square roots in this deserted magnetic field."
"Son, you'll go on nights for this!" beamed Ohms. This, in effect, was a promotion, for in Recipro City, nitrates are much Mohr than those Faraday men.
Here's a rather cheesy old slant on an even older joke. More here
Inspector Sherlock Ohms
(From the Boston College Chemical Bulletin from at least 15 years ago)
Inspector Sherlock Ohms of Standard International Yard was driving across the Wheatstone Bridge in his '09 Maxwell, trying to remember Ava Gadro's number, so he could call her and data for the Policeman's Ball, when suddenly he blew a tire.
"Oh Nernst!" said Sherlock, "I don't have a tire ion with me, but luckily, ammonia short distance from the Ideal Gas Station, run by my friend Sol Vent, who at the moment is freon bail."
Just as Inspector Ohms emerged from the Ideal Gas Station, his tire all fixed, a rubber policeman whizzed by him with his Carnot Cycle going at full speed. Ohms knew he was deuteride by, but he wondered watt made him rush so. He shouted atom, but he was gone, His reaction was instantaneous as he whipped out after him. By radio activity, he learned that Mike Rofarad, Recipro City's top-rankine rookie, was chasing a suspected joule thief. Ohms chased him down Elect Road, around the Dextro Rotary, back over Salt Bridge and up into Farren Heights. He turned left at the Old Ball Mill, down past the Mono-clinic, the Palladium, where there was a mathematical convention, and all the way to the liquid junction at the Endothermic Street. They were almost across the city line when Sherlock's car swerved, and crashed into a van der Waal. The Raman effect ruined his differential, so he couldn't go beyond the limits in it. He quickly volted out of the wreck, and took up the chase on foot. He soon came across Mike, standing in a magnetic field, holding Ann Hydrate and Al Doll at bay.
"Watts the meaning of this?" queried the inspector, and the Copper was quick to explain:
"Well, Sir, I stopped in at the Invar Bar, a local dyne and dance spot, for a couple of quartz of Lambert Beer when I noticed Ann Hydrate sitting alone at a two-place log table. I knew some joule thieves had made a radon Ethyl Benzene's country estate, and I spotted one of the Benzene rings on her along with a para Ethyl's earrings. Anode an explanation of this but before I could torque to her, she was into her coat of rust and out the door. True to the Kopp's Rule, I was quick to follow when I saw her get into her Mercury chrome 8. I knew I was infra tough chase. However, her engine started Fehling just beyond the city limits and I caught her. She had lead me to the missing joules and her accomplice, Al Doll, who was about to barium in a hollow, common log under the square roots in this deserted magnetic field."
"Son, you'll go on nights for this!" beamed Ohms. This, in effect, was a promotion, for in Recipro City, nitrates are much Mohr than those Faraday men.
qwe
Bluelight Crew
philosoraptor!
TheLoveBandit
Retired Never Was, Coulda been wannabe
^^Weak. ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
