It's healthy to unload man. That's a big part of what BL is. Besides, I just thought I was having a bad day because my dog turned my trash over! Lol...
It doesn't matter what state you live in, it's the big cities that will fuck you up. Good people are forced to exist next to folks like your crazy ass neighbor due to overcrowding. I worked as an EMT in one of the biggest cities in America. I swore to myself that if I made it to retirement without sticking a pistol in my mouth I would move to the country. I retired in 2016 and here I am,30 minutes from the nearest grocery store and loving life.
Maker a change dude. If your on Medicaid I would imagine funds are limited but there are ways to change your life. There's programs for education, housing etc. If drugs are the problem you have to learn to become a functioning addict...like me,
I know I probably sound preachy but I'm just trying to pass on advice from a 70 year old man who's been getting high since he was 15 years old.
Nah, I appreciate that man!
With age comes wisdom. You don't sound preachy at all. I enjoy hearing other's perspectives.
Drugs aren't too big of a problem in my life anymore. I've spent the last 25+ years on drugs. And I've indentified which ones are destructive for me & which ones help me. Actually a lack of drugs might be one of my problems. lol Stuff like alcohol & methamphetamine definitely fucked me up & made my physical & mental health worse. But drugs like cannabis, opioids & psychedelics will always have a place with me. I use to use a lot of pain pills & heroin (before it became fent) and I functioned better on that than I do normally. But I've been on maintenance for about 7 years now. It helps but it'll never help as good as just plain old heroin or even just a better opioid would. I found myself doing a lot of exercise, walking, cleaning, making phone calls & getting shit done when I had heroin & pain pills.
But now I struggle just to get up & shave & shower every day. I wouldn't even bother fucking with fentanyl or anything. But I'm very passionate about the topic of opioids & drugs in general. I think it's ridiculous that I can go drink myself to death at a bar legally but I can't use diacetylmorphine to treat my pain & depression, so I can have a better quality of life. lol It's fucked up & makes my blood boil. I could go on about this forever though. lol I quit drugs like meth & alcohol though & I'm proud of that. But I'd give anything to still be able to use clean heroin a few times a day, every day. lol I know some countries out there do this but I'll never be able to go do it.
I never once overdosed in any of my years of using opioids either. But I'm also more responsible than most people & I have a huge interest in pharmacology & learning about drugs. So I knew what to look out for & luckily had a legit pain pill connect & my heroin connect only ever gave me rocks. No powder or cuts.
I learned through that experience & through studying that opioids are actually some of the safest class of drugs (although addictive) when it comes to long term physical damage to the brain & body. And all the stigmatization & demonization of opioids just ticks me off. Society makes opioids out to look so bad & evil when they've been some of the most helpful drugs I've ever used. Especially when things like alcohol, nicotine & even junk food are totally legal and accessible. Wish there was something I could do to get some drug reform started in the US but I feel pretty powerless in that, because there's so much misinformation & ignorance surrounding the topic of heroin, opioids or drugs in general.
You're right though! This is my first time ever living in the city honestly. I hate it! lol
I grew up in small towns in places like Alabama, Wisconsin and Iowa. lol So I have a little bit of southern/country in me. lol
I can't even drive up to the store up the street without getting major road rage because of how crowded it is. And everyone's so slow & people apparently don't klnow how to drive anymore. lol I miss the quiet & the nature. I love being out in nature but I rarely see it anymore.
You're living proof though that eventually people can make it & end up somewhere peaceful where they can enjoy themselves!
I just try to take every day & every moment as it comes to me. But I have obsessive worrying & anxiety about anything & everything.
I lost my mom in 2021 & had to move to a new place & leave all my friends I had made behind in Iowa for 11 years.
And now my life is full of isolation & completely different than it was.
But it can change again one day. And hopefully for the better.
Appreciate you letting me vent!
Holler at me any time man!
