it seems that the withdrawal experience from sub is much more difficult than regular opiate withdrawal.
This has not been the case for me. I used subs I purchased from a friend w/ a script and experienced no adverse reaction when I simply ceased taking them. I think the people with problems start at high doses and hence need to taper down from there. If you do end up going w/ subs, try to start low; I've heard, for numerous reasons, it is best to use as low an mg dosage as possible (but that also seems like common sense as I type it now 8)). I had a pretty heavy dope habit when I did this - a couple bags a day, along with morphines here and there, and usually some cocaine IV'd w/ that stuff. However, at that point I was only using consistently for a period of several months, with the few years leading up to that I was chipping, not using so heavily. All that means is your habit could be more severe and you might need more subs in the mix than I, rendering it a more committed route for you. In the end I can only offer you my experience. Let me know if you need me to be more specific about anything if it can help you make a decision (if you haven't already).
Can anyone recommend a good non-narcotic pain reliever they've had experience with?
Yes: Imodium at high doses alleviates opiate withdrawal due to opiate action within this anti-diarrheal medicine. It isn't enough to pass the BBB, at least IME, but it will ease the pain, and if you're w/d aren't too severe they may ostensibly relieve them, but include a basic OTC pain reliever like Aleve, and I also use the cough suppressant DMX (dextromethorphan). Starting doses will depend on the severity of your symptoms, as well as the usual variables: body weight, diet, sleep etc. If nothing else, start low and proceed in regard to the reaction of symptoms. Remember this cliche:
you can always do more; you can never do less. Another OTC medicine people use for sleep is Benadryl. Personally, I have procured a mediocre night's sleep w/ this in the mix, yet I feel so discombobulated the next day I don't think it practical. If you can get your hands on Ambien or Trazadone that should ensure you some sleep.
And finally, The Dark Side (TDS) is a great place to make a thread for ongoing help and questions concerning your opiate withdrawals. There are a bunch of guidelines at the top of the threads page containing all the information you could need, and after two minutes, won't want to read anymore. I've spawned a few myself, and received support and insights of genuine assistance, even though, as I am about to outline below, I have continually over the past week failed to keep it clean. All that aside, feel encouraged to reach out and best of luck with kicking the shit outta those motherfucking shakes - you can do it buddy! You really
can.
Since I joined bluelight a week ago I've been having what I consider a fairly odd time. In short, I decided to quit hard drugs as my family with whom I live inevitably noticed the unmistakable signs of steadily intensifying abuse (staying up all night; sleeping all day; reclusive behavior; depletion of my savings). After admitting to them my problem and resolving it is time to grow up, I braced myself for the harshest withdrawal I've yet to experience. However, I steadily dosed myself with very nominal amounts of morphine and methadone (previously, these made little difference w/ my symptoms, and I would take four times the doses then I was over the last week - also, certain days I took nothing). Steadily, I've been using small amounts of weed (haven't enjoyed it in over 7 years, but this last week it's been like a reintroduction and it's been kind of fun). For 5 day I kept really positive. I went out and saw friends I pushed out over the last year to avoid their criticism and potential thwarting of my good time. I felt a lust for life I've never before. I laughed and cried more. I created and enjoyed varying types of art. I thought and reflected, and relished my interactions w/ others and myself. On day 5 I went to a party and relapsed. I set the trap for myself - this is clear now. I acquired really good dope, really shitty coke, and I went about contaminating myself. Worst of all, I squandered an opportunity to maturely handle a social gathering sober.... I masqueraded my "unconscious" attempt to relapse as a test of my will power.
To debate procuring drugs is to give into them (for me - I don't know about you). If there is room to discuss it with myself, I'm afraid if I don't give in I will be trapped in that space for who knows how long, constricted and smothered by the anxiety, awkwardness, and physical turmoil resulting from the severe frustration of neglect. It's my ultimate pact of negation. So I let go, accepted the release of my ethics, my promises to my loved ones, my fledgling pride in myself. I traded it in for the potential of another night of feeling like a rock star amongst a group largely quick to condemn the real me if they knew (maybe unfair: some would turn up their noses if they knew I IV'd. Some would help - a reassuring thought on some numb level). The next night I spent embarrassingly doing the leftovers in front of an old friend who I had just confessed my use to hence explaining my ghost-like presence in their life. After destroying my veins w/ mostly coke, and at the end of the weekend I decided to try to quit again after my two day binge, and after a sleep-deficient night, and prickly sickening morning I held steadfast and resolute and I kept from getting that H shot I needed so desperately to sleep. Yet over the last week I used Tuesday and Thursday. Just h, and not the stimulants....
speedballs really are my DOC. I need the heroin, but I'm largely bored and not sated by just
it. I must have more, because heroin doesn't give me the rush I want anymore, and I simply can't find better heroin, so I have to concoct that mixture. Sadly, I don't like coke by itself, and I certainly don't like meth, but I have found myself addicted to the coke now, and using the meth more frequently. But I digress. I think I've reloaded the bullet I dodged and now I'm back to the pain when I go 15 hours w/o a shot. Anyway, I have what may be a shot left in my cottons and then I have tomorrow. The big day. Do I continue or no? Can I stop? I want to, but I keep getting the best of myself. How do you stop yourself in the first few seconds of consideration? Do others feel your day, week, life is shot if you deny yourself in that conversation? I know I'm being weak....
Last time I stopped c/t it was with pretty much the same doseage and it was pretty awful. The time before that I was using about 10-20mg/day and it wasn't bad at all, kind of just like a mild cold. But then again I had only been using daily for a couple months, 2nd time it had been probably 2 years of pretty much daily use.
... just wondering if I could do it here or if I should go elsewhere. Thanks.