To be fair to the ones who hang me and stuff, if God made me choose which associated people lived while the rest died, I'd choose Whites.
I seem to talk myself in knots though. No pun intended, but what I end up saying does NOT always represent how I am or feel. I'm not overly uncomfortable around 'non whites'. If one group over another makes me uncomfortable, it is males. And Black males perhaps make me least comfortable. There could be a number of reasons for this. And I am "at home", generally, more around whites than any other. And that is something that is hard to find. Its not that I'm so uneasy around others. Just that I'm not as at ease. In my experience.
And much of what I write may not be so clear cut how it seems it is according to the words I've smacked down. They're tests. Attempts to communicate and often they are exploring the words to try to match with how I feel. You won't find very many posts of mine that are unedited. I could go on and on. Argue myself. Etc.
To mention, I also choose the shortest line, more or less. And there is a girl at Whole Foods that I go to, to her line, over white males and most females otherwise... And she is Black. I go to her because she is friendly and unique. She's one who makes me challenge my box. Who allows me to see I simply assign things ways sometimes, and it may not be how I assign, and argue.
Its very complex. I am in many ways fed up with a lot of it. I've said if I had children I'd love whoever loved them, and whoever they loved. Daughter could marry a good black guy. Fine. In my life I don't find 'home' with a black female. I haven't. I've only found the home feeling with light skinned light eye red hair or blond hair, in my experience (though I extend that it may not be as rigid).
I could write and write some more about immigration and refugees and how it sucks (not to judge), and how I want Europe to stay European and don't want a pipeline of colorereds pumped in for the next hundreds of years, but eh, I'd rather get stoned and realize its not worth arguing about right now... After I eat.