frostyangel
Bluelighter
Hey guys and gals it's been awhile...
Tears:
It's a fearful night as we all try to rest our worried heads.
I can't believe this is where were headed.
My life is in shatters... And all I can do is stare..
When did we lose everything that really matters.
That damn phone will not stop ringing. But, I can't
turn it off.. what if something happens to her.. what
if we lose her? I can not forgive myself either way..
I don't even know if I ever had her.. I know that she
has lost me a long time ago..
Now, I don't want to look back. I can't. I just have this
pouch of tears.. what if she dies... what if she lives..
why our we watching her kill herself... we've tried,
we've not tried. I can't stop the screaming inside
my head.. oh god the pressure is to much my brain
to think..if this is the way I'm suppose to understand
love.. can it just stop hurting for one minute..
So I can breathe...Oh god I'm gasping for air.. And she
wouldn't even give me her last breath.. when I would
share mine... There flowing now.. I don't want to hate
her.. I really don't. But it's a battle. And this heart is
pounding so hard with anger from all the problems this
is causing.. even when I don't think about it.. she haunts
me in my dreams
It's not just about you anymore. Or me. Or them. This is
life. Why would you want to leave it.. to leave us. You
wasted it all... and now 27 years later, there is nothing
left between us. Your pain is just as great as mine. But
you left me with all these demons to fend off. My sword
is just not big enough anymore..I can't wash the blood
of my hands. It was the very last time. I the one running
now..only to end up in every corner cradled hand to knee
with my face buried in you sin. I lost every battle, even
when I wasn't in one I was scratching and crawling.
Defending a honor you wouldn't even accept. Now, my
stomach is sick. With disgust. I want to lash out at you
for all those bad things you said and did to me. You left
me crying for forgiveness... And it was never received..
now you are looking for my hand to fix your life, your
mistakes... and the fact that I'm one of them.
Stop telling me you fucked up? Fix it. It's time to stand
up and take responsibility..
Tears:
It's a fearful night as we all try to rest our worried heads.
I can't believe this is where were headed.
My life is in shatters... And all I can do is stare..
When did we lose everything that really matters.
That damn phone will not stop ringing. But, I can't
turn it off.. what if something happens to her.. what
if we lose her? I can not forgive myself either way..
I don't even know if I ever had her.. I know that she
has lost me a long time ago..
Now, I don't want to look back. I can't. I just have this
pouch of tears.. what if she dies... what if she lives..
why our we watching her kill herself... we've tried,
we've not tried. I can't stop the screaming inside
my head.. oh god the pressure is to much my brain
to think..if this is the way I'm suppose to understand
love.. can it just stop hurting for one minute..
So I can breathe...Oh god I'm gasping for air.. And she
wouldn't even give me her last breath.. when I would
share mine... There flowing now.. I don't want to hate
her.. I really don't. But it's a battle. And this heart is
pounding so hard with anger from all the problems this
is causing.. even when I don't think about it.. she haunts
me in my dreams
It's not just about you anymore. Or me. Or them. This is
life. Why would you want to leave it.. to leave us. You
wasted it all... and now 27 years later, there is nothing
left between us. Your pain is just as great as mine. But
you left me with all these demons to fend off. My sword
is just not big enough anymore..I can't wash the blood
of my hands. It was the very last time. I the one running
now..only to end up in every corner cradled hand to knee
with my face buried in you sin. I lost every battle, even
when I wasn't in one I was scratching and crawling.
Defending a honor you wouldn't even accept. Now, my
stomach is sick. With disgust. I want to lash out at you
for all those bad things you said and did to me. You left
me crying for forgiveness... And it was never received..
now you are looking for my hand to fix your life, your
mistakes... and the fact that I'm one of them.
Stop telling me you fucked up? Fix it. It's time to stand
up and take responsibility..
