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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The EADD Mental Health Support Thread

There's definitely some negatives to pregabalin. Short-term memory issues, weight gain, ataxia and clumsiness (with low tolerance), and some weird color distortion and general trippiness at higher doses. Also, importantly, it's not as "immediate" as some fast-acting benzos like diaz or tempazepam, and simply doesn't give as much sedation as high-dose benzos.
And for some people it's just plain ineffective.

For me it works great, I'd definitely pick 2x150mg pregabalin over, say, 2x10mg diazepam daily. It has an euphoric and energetic edge that benzos lack, while still being calming. Also, tolerance and dependence build much slower than with benzos.
 
Mirtazepine may help you get to sleep in the first few days/weeks, but its sedation is no replacement for a (heavy) benzo habit. Don't expect it to be so. I'd suggest you look at olanzapine or similar, MDB.
 
^ Yeah, although olanzapine is an antipsychotic, it's excellent for sleep, totally whacks you out well into the next day until you start to build tolerance. I'm on it for schizo affective disorder and 20 mgs still helps me sleep, without the morning grogginess.
 
^ Yeah, although olanzapine is an antipsychotic, it's excellent for sleep, totally whacks you out well into the next day until you start to build tolerance. I'm on it for schizo affective disorder and 20 mgs still helps me sleep, without the morning grogginess.

Yeah I'm on it too and at first it is pretty fucking awful; waking up and feeling constantly groggy is horrible, but you eventually get used to it.

I'm on 100mgs of Sertraline at the moment for depression and found that they're no longer working for me... as a matter of fact, they make me feel worse; I recently came off them for 4 days and noticed that my mood was a lot more optimistic than usual, but after taking my prescribed dose today I feel horrible. :/
 
About half the people i know who're on olanzepine are massively overweight because of it, it just makes you eat and eat apparently, thats enough to put me off it.. Works great for some people though where other meds have failed

I'm also on a low dose of sertraline for anxiety melanch0ly, find it works quite well for that whether placebo or not so i'll keep on with it, talk to ya prescriber if its making you feel shit though, they can't force you to take it and there will be one more fitting.

I dont wanna be hooked on ssris though so i want to come off mine soon, i'm wondering if theres any withdrawal effects from it? Cause i an out a week or so ago and felt really kinda strange until i got some more, kinda uncomfortable but not massively in an anxiety way more just my head felt.. dodgy, anyone had anything coming off sertraline?
 
Too right man, early days it knocks you for six. I think i used to sleep 16 hours a day back then, though part of it could have done with depression, shit times.

Funny thing depression, you either sleep for Britain, lay there staring at the ceiling or wake at stupid o'clock and cannot get bact to sleep. Been through all the stages. I'm still unsure about Sertraline, although subtle effects have been noted. Certainly aint no mirical cure although some would beg to differ.

CK, early days ate like a fucking horse (olanzapine), now i take 20 mgs at night and eat as required.
 
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I reckon Brimz deserves another thumbs up for a truely excellent thread. It's bought people out of their shells and i hope it's helped others. No shame being a loony. (i used that term with my first shrink, oooooooops) you've still gotta laugh.
 
Interesting article by Will Self in The Guardian a few weeks back, on psychiatry, mental health and drugs.


A psychiatrist who once "treated" me used to recite this rueful little mantra: "They say failed doctors become psychiatrists, and that failed psychiatrists specialise in drugs." By drugs this psychiatrist meant drugs of addiction – and his "treatment" of me consisted of prescribing Temgesic, a synthetic opiate, as a substitute for the heroin I was more strongly inclined to take. So, he undertook this role: acting, in effect, as a state-licensed drug dealer; and he also attempted a kind of psychotherapy, talking to me about my problems and engaging with my own restless critique of – among many other things – psychiatry itself. Together we conceived of doing some sort of project on drugs and addiction, and began undertaking research. On one memorable fact-finding trip to Amsterdam, we ended up smoking a great deal of marijuana as well as drinking to excess – I also scored heroin and used it under the very eyes of the medical practitioner who was, at least nominally, "treating" me.

All of this happened more than 20 years ago, and I drag it up here not in order to retrospectively censure the psychiatrist concerned, but rather to present him and his behaviour as a perversely honest version of the role played by his profession. For what, in essence, do psychiatrists specialise in, if not mood-altering drugs? Or, to put it another way, what do psychiatrists have to offer – over and above the other so-called "psy professions" – beyond their capacity to legally administer psychoactive drugs, and in some cases forcibly confine those they deem to be mentally ill?

Psychiatry is undergoing one of its periodic convulsions at the moment – one that coincides with the publication by the American Psychiatric Association of the fifth edition of their hugely influential "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders" (DSM–5) – and I think we should all take the opportunity to join in the profession's own collective navel-gazing and existential angst. After all, while the influence of the talking cures is pervasive in our society – running all the way up the scale from anodyne advice dispensed on daytime TV shows, to the wealthy shelling out hundreds of pounds a week to pet their neuroses in the company of highly qualified black dog walkers – psychotherapy and psychoanalysis remain essentially voluntaristic undertakings; only psychiatry deals in mandatory social care and legal sanction. Besides, only psychiatry partakes of the peculiar mystique that attaches to medical care. We may dismiss the opinions of all sorts of counsellors and therapists, secure in the knowledge that their very multifariousness is indicative of their lack of overall traction, but psychiatry, dealing, as it claims, with well-defined maladies – and treating them with drugs and hospitalisation – exerts an enormous pull on our collective self-image. Just what the nature of this pull is, and how it has come to condition our understanding of ourselves and our psychic functioning, is what I wish to unpick.

Full-blown mental illness is an extremely frightening phenomenon to observe – let alone experience. And much of the debate that surrounds the efficacy of contemporary psychiatry is warped by the knowledge – lurking in the wings of our minds – that we wish to have as little as possible to do with it. We may understand rationally that psychosis isn't a contagion, yet still we turn aside from the street soliloquisers and avoid the tormented gazes of those being "cared for in the community". Arguably, the response of those who treated a trip to Bedlam to view the madmen and women as an entertainment had the virtue of at least being a form of contact. At their peak, mental hospitals such as Bedlam (and formerly known as "lunatic asylums") housed over 100,000 inmates, many of whom had been confined for behaviours that today would be regarded as lifestyle choices, such as socialism or sexual promiscuity. The hospitals were also dumping grounds for patients who we now know to have had organic brain diseases. It's sobering for those on the left to realise that the first politician to commit to their abolition was Enoch Powell. By the early 1990s many long-stay inmates had been returned to the outside world, but their lives were for the most part still grossly circumscribed: living in sheltered accommodation and visited by mental health teams, confined not by physical walls but by the chemical straitjackets of neuroleptic drugs.

Still, if you wish to visit Bedlam you can do so. The locked mental wards of our hospitals present a terrifying spectacle of seriously disturbed patients shouting, yelping, gurning and shaking – I know, I've seen them. And it's the much-repressed knowledge that this is going on that helps, I would argue, to prevent too much criticism of the psychiatric profession. Just as we are quietly grateful to prison officers for banging up criminals, so too we are grateful for psychiatrists and psychiatric nurses for providing a cordon sanitaire between us and flamboyant insanity. Yet while the regime under which those diagnosed with mental pathologies has changed immensely in the last half-century, the prognosis remains no better. Some say that it is manifestly worse, and that psychiatry itself is to blame. But the truth is that hardly anyone – apart from the professionals, whose livelihoods depend on it – can either be bothered to wade through the reams of scientific papers concerned with the alternative treatment regimens, or understand the different methodologies arrived at to assess competing claims.

Early in Our Necessary Shadow, his lucid, humane and in many ways well-balanced account of the nature and meaning of psychiatry, Tom Burns, professor of social psychiatry at Oxford University, makes a supremely telling remark: "I am convinced psychiatry is a major force for good or I would not have spent my whole adult life in it." This is a form of the logical fallacy post hoc ergo propter hoc ("After this, therefore because of this"), and it seems strange that an academic of such standing should so blithely retail it because, of course, if we reverse the statement it makes just as much sense: "Having spent my whole adult life as a psychiatrist I must maintain the conviction that it is a major force for good." After all, the alternative – for Burns and for thousands of other psychiatrists – is to accept that in fact their working lives have constituted something of a travesty: either locking up or drugging patients whose diseases are defined not by organic dysfunction but by socially unacceptable behaviours. Burns has the honesty and integrity to admit that the major mental pathologies – schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression inter alia – cannot be defined in the same way as physical diseases, and he cleaves to the currently fashionable view of psychiatry as seeking to understand mental maladies through the tripartite lens of the social, the psychological and the biological. He also states that he sees the role of psychotherapy as central to the practise of psychiatry – and in this he dissents from the more mainstream "biological" model of treatment that has been in the ascendancy since the 1970s.

But what Burns cannot quite bring himself to do is give up the drugs. In a 333 page book (complete with a glossary, a bibliography and an index), there are just three references to the most commonly prescribed psychiatric drugs: the SSRIs, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (such as Prozac and Seroxat). When he does consider the SSRIs, he notes that they may indeed be overprescribed (as of 2011 46.7m prescriptions had been written in the UK for antidepressants), and in particular that they may be used to "treat" commonplace unhappiness rather than severe depression. What he doesn't venture near are the systematic critiques of antidepressants – and neuropharmacology in general – that have emerged in recent years. The work of Irving Kirsch, whose meta-analysis of SSRI double-blind trials revealed that in clinical terms – for a broad spectrum of depressed patients – SSRIs acted no better than a placebo, is something Burns doesn't want to look at. He also doesn't wish to examine too closely the underlying "chemical imbalance" theory of depression on which the alleged efficacy of the SSRIs is based, presumably because he knows that it's essentially bunk: no fixed correlation has been established, despite intensive study, between levels of serotonin in the brain and depression.

I've swerved into consideration of antidepressants because I believe the exponential increase in their use is a function of the problem of legitimacy that psychiatry currently faces. Psychiatrists, of course, tell the public that the vast majority of these drugs are prescribed by general practitioners – not by them. But what has made it possible for someone recently bereaved or unemployed to have a prescription written by their doctor to alleviate their "depression", is, I would argue, very much to do with psychiatry's search for new worlds to conquer, an expedition that has been financed at every step by big pharma. Put bluntly: unable to effect anything like a cure in the severe mental pathologies, at an entirely unconscious and weirdly collective level psychiatry turned its attention to less marked psychic distress as a means of continuing to secure what sociologists term "professional closure". After all, if chlorpromazine (commonly known as Largactil) and other neuroleptics don't cure schizophrenia – any more than lithium "cures" bipolar illness – then why exactly do you need a qualified medical doctor to dole them out?

The proliferation of new psycho-pharmacological compounds has advanced in lock-step with the proliferation of new mental illnesses for them to "treat". As Ian Hacking observes in a review of DSM–5 in the current London Review of Books, the first DSM – published in 1952 – and its successor in 1968, were heavily influenced by the psychoanalytic theories then dominating psychiatry in the US. In 1980, with DSM–III there came a step-change. Hacking traces this to the efficacy of lithium in managing mania: "Now there was something that worked … clear behavioural criteria were necessary to identify who would benefit from lithium." James Davies begins his book, Cracked: Why Psychiatry Is Doing More Harm Than Good, with an examination of how these behavioural criteria were arrived at by the compilers of DSM–III and its subsequent incarnations. You may be thinking that all this is so much arcane knowledge – and wondering why we in Britain should be preoccupied by a diagnostic manual published in the US. But in fact the ICD (International Classification of Diseases) used by British doctors is compiled in the same way as the DSM – indeed most NHS psychiatrists favour the latter over the former. In the US it's simple: your insurance won't pay out unless you are diagnosed with a malady detailed in the DSM, but in Britain we have a less tangible – but for all that pervasive – form of socio-medical discrimination: no sick note – and no social benefits – unless what ails you conforms to the paradigms set out in DSM.

The focus of Davies's critique is that the criteria for what constitutes ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), or autism, or indeed depression, are not arrived at by any commonly understood scientific procedure, but rather by committee: psychiatrists getting together and pooling their understanding of how patients with these maladies "present" (in the jargon). Under these circumstances it becomes somewhat easier to understand how the tail can begin to wag the dog: rather than arriving at a commonly agreed set of symptoms that constitute a gestalt – and hence a malady – psychiatrists become influenced by what psycho-pharmacological compounds alleviate given symptoms, and so, as it were, "create" diseases to fit the drugs available. This in itself, Davies might argue, explains why there are more and more new "diseases" with each edition of the DSM: it isn't a function of scientific acumen identifying hitherto hidden maladies, but of iatrogenesis: doctor-created disease. So, while it may well be general practitioners who do the doling out, psychiatrists are required to legitimate what they are doing and provide it with the sugar-coating of scientific authenticity. It's a dirty, well-paid and high-status job – but someone has to do it, no?

The vast number of "hyperactive" children in the US prescribed Ritalin is so well attested to that it's become a trope in popular culture – just like the SSRI-munching depressive. But these are our version of low-level "care in the community", the sad are becoming oddly co-morbid (afflicted with the same sorts of diseases) with the mad. Davies treads a familiar path in his critique of the influence of the multinational pharmaceutical companies on the structure and practice of psychiatry. If you aren't familiar with the fact that almost all drug trials are funded by those who stand to profit from their success then … well, you jolly well should be. You should also be familiar with the extent to which university research departments and learned journals are funded by those who stand to profit – literally – from their presumed objectivity. The money generated by the SSRIs in particular is vast, easily enough to warp the dynamics and the ethics of an entire profession, and indeed I would agree with Davies that it has in fact done just this. The sections of his book that deal in particular with the way big pharma has moved into markets outside the English-speaking world and effected a wholesale cultural change in their perception of sadness (rebranding it, if you will, as chemically treatable "depression"), simply in order to flog their dubious little blue pills, make for chilling reading.

Actually, Burns would agree with some of this critique as well; and recall, he's a psychiatrist who fervently believes that his profession has been, and continues to be, a force for good. Davies is a psychologist, and to the outsider the fierceness of his attack might be dismissed as part of a turf war among the psy professions (Irving Kirsch is a clinical psychologist as well). However, I don't think it helps anyone to see the current imbroglio as simply a function of late capitalism in its most aggressive aspect. I'm afraid I have to mouth the old lily-livered liberal shibboleth at this point and observe that, yes, we are all to blame; and our responsibility is just as difficult for us to acknowledge because we are largely unaware of it. We don't consciously collude in the chemical repression of the psychotic (and Davies produces quite convincing statistics to support the view that those with psychosis actually recover better if they aren't medicated at all), any more than we consciously collude in the fiction of depression as a chemical imbalance that can be successfully treated with SSRIs.

Instead, what both clinicians and patients experience is quite the reverse: we feel absolutely bloody miserable, we can't get up in the morning, we are dirty and unkempt, and we go along to our GP and are prescribed an antidepressant, and lo and behold we recover. My GP, who has just retired, and who is a wise and compassionate man who I absolutely trusted, told me that he prescribed SSRIs because they worked, and I believed him. That they worked because of the overpoweringly efficacious curative power we believe doctors and their nostrums to possess rather than because of any real change in our brain chemistry was beside the point for him – and I suspect it's beside the point for the vast majority of patients as well. By the same token, Burns is at pains to stress, contra-DSM, that the great strength and skill of the practising psychiatrist lies in being able to intuit diagnoses by empathising with patients. Diagnosis, for Burns, is an art form – not a science. By his own account I've little doubt that he's a good and effective psychiatrist who can make a real difference to the lives of those plagued by demons that undermine their sense of self. One of my oldest friends is a consultant psychiatrist who I've actually seen practising in just this way, with preternatural flair and compassion.

In both their cases, however, I feel about them rather the way I do about the last archbishop of Canterbury: I consider Rowan Williams to be a wise and spiritual man mostly despite rather than because of his Christianity; and I think many psychiatrists are good healers mostly despite rather than because of the medical ideology of mental illness to which they subscribe.

Interestingly there is one large sector of the "mentally ill" that Burns believes are manifestly unsuitable for treatment – drug addicts and alcoholics. He points to the ineffectiveness of almost all treatment regimens, possibly because the cosmic solecism of treating those addicted to psychoactive drugs with more psychoactive drugs hits home despite his well-padded professional armour. Elsewhere in Our Necessary Shadow he seems to embrace the idea that self-help groups of one kind or another could help to alleviate a great deal of mental illness, and it struck me as strange that he couldn't join the dots: after all, the one treatment that does have long-term efficacy for addictive illness is precisely this one.

Psychiatrists are notoriously unwilling to endorse the 12-step programmes, and argue that statistically the results are not convincing. There may be some truth in this – but there's also the inconvenient fact that there's no place for psychiatrists, or indeed any of the psy professionals, in autonomously organised self-help groups. Burns agrees with Davies that our reliance on psychiatry, and by extension, psycho-pharmacology, may well be related to our increasingly alienated state of mind in mass societies with weakened family ties, and often non-existent community ones. Surely self-help groups can play a large role in facilitating the rebirth of these nurturing and supportive networks? But Burns seems to feel that just as we will always need a professional to come and mend the septic tank, so we will always need a pro to sweep out the Augean psychic stables. I'm not so sure; psychiatry has been bedevilled over the last two centuries by "treatments" and "cures" that have subsequently been revealed to be significantly harmful. From mesmerism, to lobotomy, to electroconvulsive therapy, to Valium and other benzodiazepines – the list of these nostrums is long and ignoble, and I've no doubt that the SSRIs will soon be added to their number.

Sooner or later we will all have to wake up, smell the snake oil, and realise that while medical science may bring incalculable benefit to us, medical pseudo-science remains just as capable of advance. After all, one of the drugs that Irving Kirsch's meta‑analysis of antidepressant trials revealed as being just as efficacious as the SSRIs was … heroin.
 
Will Self gets the anti-psychiatry bug. Only a few decades late and all.

Which isn't to say there isn't some substance to the article, just that it's extremely well-trodden ground. And an agenda which can be spotted from outer space at the kind of distance where the Great Wall of China appears to be little more than an ink-smudge.

What's next Will? Psychogeography?

Ah...
 
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I switched from 150mg sertraline to 15mg mirtazapine a couple of weeks ago. I have been having trouble sleeping since i stopped taking AH7921 acouple of months ago and am also dependent on benzos and opiates. I am heavily cutting down the benzos (10 etiz per night now)which may explain the sleep problem. Although the sleep problem initially arose when i stopped taking 2 specific opiates about 6 months ago. Everything mut be interlinked in a way that is beyond my comprehension. Maybe its just gonna be a rough period that im just gonna have tro ride out, and "give time time". How much fuckin time to have to give though, months possibly i guess after what ive been doing to myself, i cant help but feel so foolish.

On the positive side I have noticed i am feeling calmer than normal during the day and i'm putting that down to the Mirtazapine as i am reducing my benzo use rapidly and never take any during the day. But i am also experiencing very low motivation and keep loosing objects. I suspect I may be also be expereincing withdrawls from the high dose sertraline that I had been on for a long time.

I am not sure what form those sert w/d would take but had heard that sert is horrific to w/d from and was expecting the first month to be very bad anyway.

Mitrtazapine is not helping me to sleep at all (most other users of it say it helps them massively) and my mood is at a very low ebb, so I am rotating (to avoid further dependencaies) a load of other sleeping pills to try help with sleep at least- diphenhydramine, zopiclone, phenergan, chloropromazine (the stuff that has you drooling and bouncing from wall to wall )concentrated valerian root etc whilst simultaneaously cutting down benzos.

The whole situation is one hell of a mess really, with a huge amount of variables its amost impossible to identify any root cause IMO. I may try doubling my low dose prescribed mirtazapine to see what that does. Currently after i eventually fall slkeep i am waking up every hour or so during the night; craving confectionary like mad, smoking cigarettes, taking a few more hits on a bong and is then eventually falling back to sleep again.

I'm guessing that sertraline w/ds may be playing a large part in the mood problem, and as etizolam wasnt helping me sleep anyway (i have blown out that tolerance theshold due to over indulgence.)

I know its a very complicated situation, and if anyone botherd to digest it do you have any comments please ? I should add that I am not feeling so defensive (i dont know what the fuck was up with me the last 2-3 weeks) so i will not fly off the handle in a rtage attack at anyone who tries to help. Whgat kind of behaviour was that ?:o
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Ack MDB, that's a shitload of meds to be fucking with your brain. I can't help out with your anti-depressants as I've never been on those but as far as sleep goes reducing/quitting both benzos and opiates would definitely be the culprits...it's normal and to be expected sadly. Also I've never tried AH7921 but isn't it supposed to have particularly hellish WDs? I know when I quit heroin 3 months ago I didn't start sleeping properly again until about 2 weeks ago, so if you're reducig benzos at the same time it's really no surprise. Sadly I think the best you can do is as you said, just wait for time to pass and focus on your recovery in the meantime...might also help to focus on one specific problem at a time rather than try to tackle them all at once? Like I dunno, focus on stopping the etiz first, then look at the opiates, etc. I don't really know the details you've worked out with your doctor and stuff so maybe I've completely missed the mark but that's what I would do anyway. Good luck :)
 
thanks for the reply. Ive had to change my reduction/taper/quit plans since those benzo rage things. I dont know where they come from but i never normally act like that, so now that some clarity is returning i feel terrible about them. So definately no more phenaz ever again, and etiz down to 2 mg asap, (currently got them down to 10mg from god knows how many in about a month so theres at least something i can be proud of.)

I dunno if im going through sertaline w/d and then if benzo w/d starts kicking in too, i'll move the benzos back up a notch again.

I think what caused my "rage" problem was certainly over indulgence in Phenaz (they should give it to soldiers to make them fiercer, only they would be stumbling around likle drunken buffoons lol) and the current low mood may be sert w/ds and the end of the honey moon period on Bupe. (i switched to Bupe to get off the AH) That was nice while it lasted. I undserstand the reasoning behind bupe prescribing now, since it doesnt get you high after a while, it only serves o stabilise you whilst you taper and jump off.

I couldnt believe how great it made me feel at first. Itr's probably for the best that i no longer get a high off it, as i woul;d have found it impossible to quit otherwise, but i believe it should be managable now.

Im going to be researching Sertraline withdrawal. The Mirtaz should have kicked in by now. I know they act on different mechansims (mirt doesnt act directly on the serraline receptors in the brain) but maybe i need a higher dose. When i get my new prescrption i might be naughty and double up the doses to see what effect that has.
 
Mmh...have you considered the bupe might also be one of the reasons for the anger? Opiates/opioids are known to take most emotions aside from frustration and anger away. That was certainly my case once the honeymoon phase was over, couldn't think about anything except how much I hated everything and everyone. So I think that might be something worth looking into in your situation no? And of course rebound anxiety/anger from reducing benzos etc.
 
thanks one more factor to worry about. lol. only teasing. There could well be something in what you say but my bupe dose has been relativelky stable throughout and any changes in that have not linked up with any expressed rage.

There may well be something else in what you say too as sometimes i feel kind of irritable and i think that is due to wanting more bupe. But the major rage attacks (the bhaviuoral problem im most concerned about) co-incided exactly with daysa nd nights of heavy phenaz consumption. So i have no doubt of the link.

At some point in the next few days i am gonna start the bupe taper so i will see what effects that has on my mood (i dont think ill be a raging monster, maybe a bit bad tempered though lol). I originally bought Bupe about a month ago specifically to taper off AH, but as i enjoyed it so much ive just been abusing it for that month. Now its magic has gone i should start using it for its intended purpose, as its no use for anything else.

(another member warned me bout Bupe so the w/ds might be worse than i expect. The lift in mood and energy i am getting from them, is now so subtle that i cant feel iut, and i wonder if its really there. I will only know once i W/D)
 
I don't know what is wrong with me, I feel completely alone today, nobody really speaks to me anymore (or I get the feeling nobody likes speaking to me) unless it's about substances or going for a night out, I only have one or two mates who I have proper banter with now and properly make me laugh, I've came off heroin and calmed right down on the benzos yet I still feel like most the people I know would rather talk to their cat than me. Am I just shit at normal conversation? I don't know, this discombobulated feeling is stressing me out and I don't want to take things to temporarily solve it, its now the little things that are getting me upset, like seeing someone has unadded me on FB or would ignore a wave from me on the street, I've always felt a little paranoid since my teens but now it's turning me depressed inside. Ive also noticed I hardly find anyone attractive anymore since my last girlfriend and this annoys me so much as I would just love a girl to help sort my head out, I'm just afraid I'd do what I did last time and fuck it up with drugs so I don't bother even though I want to. Why the fuck should anyone bother with me to be honest, im a little stupid lad thats fucked up one too many times, i dont deserve anyone to love me.

I feel sad even writing this as most the stuff I post is overlooked, maybe I'm just posting useless shite. I don't know anymore, I've OD'd and only a handful of people asked if I was ok, no one from here even bar the Irish lads, someone tell me am I being paranoid, stupid and immature or should I go talk to a councillor again? Sorry to sound whiny people, my head is just a mess :(
 
How long were you on it for & also how many times you been hooked?

I was on it for about 9 months and oxy/morphine on and off for a couple years before that, but it was my first proper habit - so it was just to show that even with a short-lasting habit such as mine sleep issues continue for a while after quitting.
 
I don't know what is wrong with me, I feel completely alone today, nobody really speaks to me anymore (or I get the feeling nobody likes speaking to me) unless it's about substances or going for a night out, I only have one or two mates who I have proper banter with now and properly make me laugh, I've came off heroin and calmed right down on the benzos yet I still feel like most the people I know would rather talk to their cat than me. Am I just shit at normal conversation? I don't know, this discombobulated feeling is stressing me out and I don't want to take things to temporarily solve it, its now the little things that are getting me upset, like seeing someone has unadded me on FB or would ignore a wave from me on the street, I've always felt a little paranoid since my teens but now it's turning me depressed inside. Ive also noticed I hardly find anyone attractive anymore since my last girlfriend and this annoys me so much as I would just love a girl to help sort my head out, I'm just afraid I'd do what I did last time and fuck it up with drugs so I don't bother even though I want to. Why the fuck should anyone bother with me to be honest, im a little stupid lad thats fucked up one too many times, i dont deserve anyone to love me.

I feel sad even writing this as most the stuff I post is overlooked, maybe I'm just posting useless shite. I don't know anymore, I've OD'd and only a handful of people asked if I was ok, no one from here even bar the Irish lads, someone tell me am I being paranoid, stupid and immature or should I go talk to a councillor again? Sorry to sound whiny people, my head is just a mess :(

Sorry to hear that mate, how much of an effort do you make with people? you do deserve somebody to love you. everybody makes fuckups. awhile ago i lost interest in everything, people, ended up drifting apart from a lot of people
 
Fair play to you Pagey, sadly I'm on & off it for too many years now & kind of accepted my fate.

Hope it goes well for you :)
 
For MATT:

Well done on opening up, a hard thing to do, now please go to your doctor mate! And don't hold back when speaking to them. Things will get better
 
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