The bridge to addiction

[stevepsu65]

Hello, i have been a surfer of this website for some time, but just made this account in seek of a bit of help. Here is a rough sketch of the past 2 years.

Started with vicodin which were not really my thing, then moved to percocet. Never really got into hard abusing them..kind of just dabbled every few days with the friends who also did them. Eventually moved into the real of oxy, suboxone, and now opana.

I am at the point where i do a little every day or at least 5 days a week on opiates. I feel as if i no longer really get that euphoric rush that i always aimed for, and when i get it from doing x amount of opana i end up puking and nodding hard. I barely even enjoy it anymore..i feel as if i take it just to be normal and reasonably happy to be alive My question for you all is this.

Is there a notable point where the bridge from being an opiate abuser to an opiate addict gets crossed..and if im close to it...can some1 here tell me a good reason to quit..as i keep justifying not quitting ( get opiates through a friend for free every other day-ish so money isnt the issue..).

Also...after quitting cold turkey..how many days you think it will be until im not miserable ( usually am after i dont do the opana for a day or so) and dont crave the euphoria anymore.

Thanks for any input or suggestions you can toss my way,

 

[muvolution]

you are toeing the line looking down a long, dark, road right now. You need to stop immediately.

Alot of people can't grasp this even well into addiction, and they have to go through years of living and feeling like shit before they hit rock bottom. The lucky ones die in their sleep or OD, it's much harder, much more challenging to come back from it, but also more rewarding.

Having been an opiate addict is part of me now, and I have to deal with that- it's just a part of me, but if I could go back and re-do it, well, I wouldn't -but if someone would have told me what i was in for before-hand, I definitely wouldn't have done it.

 

[Legerity]

You're the one that decides when to stop digging the hole deeper. There's no magical line between moderate use and dependence...there's a whole continuum of varying levels of dependence.

If your current level of use is not causing major problems, then you can look at potential future outcomes for motivation to quit. If the desire is there then you can start exploring the reasons for your use and work on satisfying those needs in other ways.

 

[redlightXabortion]

it's the shitty part. honeymoon days are over. she's a whore that's extremely hard to divorce. you're at the position to where it's not that difficult to get out and you have control, assuming you're a "normal" person w/out any underlying diagnoses and other factors (I'm bipolar being treated w/ lamictal and I've been doing opiates for 5 years. 2 of them IV, now on mmt). the whole addiction deal gets a little more complicated in those w/ mental illness. it's not worth it anymore once you don't enjoy it and only use to feed that false need. i wish i could be a chipper.

 

[redlightXabortion]

oh and the miserable part after quitting is totally subjective. when I've kicked in the past the first week of getting through the physical withdrawals and anxiety wasn't that difficult. for a lot of people it's the months after that is the hard part. the psychological urge will still be there. for me it manifested in a seemingly endless depressive void. there's going to be an empty space that needs filling (sex, music, gardening, horseback riding...)

 

[stevepsu65]

Thank you all for the responses, as i greatly appreciate your tiem and experience with this situation.

I feel the need for the opiates stems from having deep mental pain dealing with the past events that occurred between me and my girlfriend of 7 years who was also my first love and first lover.

I will stop taking opiates for a while jstu to see how i feel and deal with that "emptyness" void that the above poster mentioned..as i do know the feeling and i will attempt to fill it by gettign back into the gym hardcore as i used to back in college. Thanks for the advice again every1..ill skim the boards and hope to c some of you around

 

[Dr.kush]

You are almost there, building the bridge. But its good you are seeing it. Please try to get off that shit its so so so horrible. I have only been slamming H for almost 2 years, and its horrible. You dont want to go there trust me. You have recognized the problem thats the first step now try to correct it, its not easy but so worth it. I have been clean from opiates for 4 months and its great. But i struggle everyday. You dont want to go there trust me, just try to move on from this experience and grow.