mmm
I am quite surprised I made it through okay. I am usually more careful with psychoactives, especially expiramental ones. But I figured 'what's one or two mg' Which is a mistake I will not repeat. (for those not keeping score, I took 16 mg)
As for ego loss, I've had a bit of that before, but this experience absolutely shattered any idea of an ego. It was an absolutely humbling experience in every way.
I still have the etchings in my wall, I will try and get a picture of it up here for people to see. This was etched out feverishly at the height of it all.
I've taken 2c-e before. Which was an extremely spiritual, perhaps life-changing experience, but after 2c-p, it pales in comparison. (important to note, I indulged in a short ether binge at the height of my 2c-e trip, by no means was it mild. I forget the dose, but it was high enough to get some pronounced visuals.)
I can safely say that 2c-p presented me with some of the most beautiful and terrifying images and epiphany's I have ever been graced. Also, for a short while I was the most astute and learned psychotherapist on the planet. I understood the workings of all mind and matter.
I repeat. 16 mg is an OVERDOSE you will come out of it a changed person. not one of the three of us are the same as we were before we took this drug. I believe it was for the better, but to get there you have to go through the absolute worst.
If you have any deep seated emotional issues, painful memories, or their ilk, a dose of this calibur will not only serve to bring them back in all of their soul-crushing glory, but will arm you with the tools to come to terms with these issues, and put them to rest.
(brief explanation of the etchings)
while I was drawing the universe on my wall, I labeled each section in the order that I drew it, so that it would be easier to trace the thought process.
1. the words "DON'T FORGET" with thick, obviously urgent underlining
2. a small, black, parallelogram, I would say it was a square but the sides are slanted at odd angles.
3. Arrows pointing towards the square, labelled "The Universe"
4. in quotations (edit: parenthesis as well) under 'the Universe' is the word 'Everything' this is everything with a capitol E folks. Everything, all of life, matter, time, and space within this universe.
4a. Above the small black box-like object, are the words "I understand this" it is implied that the rest remains a mystery, though I have been to those places (see 5, it will make more sense then)
5. Three orbit-like elipses, with the words 'everything else' repeated twice within, these rings circle the small black object, and weave within eachother at two points.
6. Way off to the right, at where the ceiling connects to the wall, is an infinity symbol surrounded by three short, thick strokes, implying motion and change. This is infinity in adition to Everything, and Everything else.
7. the words "they would have this painted over in white" off to the side of the etching, right between my work, and a dali poster 'the metamorphosis of Narcissus' It's implied that this statement applies to both works.
In summation, I had complete understanding of everything, every thing within this universe that existed, I had a plethora of knowledge about. Everything... with this knowledge, also came the knowledge that Everything was far from all there was.
Looking back I do believe I probably died briefly. something tells me the 2c-p both destroyed and revived me, this is certainly what it felt like.
So powerful in fact that I consider overdosing again to get that effect. I doubt that I will.
Be exceptionally careful with this one. It is different, in a fundamental way. Be warned.
