I am beginning to understand why "the holidays" are such a trigger for people who are grieving the loss of someone they love.Thanksgiving has never been about extended family for us because we don't live near family. But we created a family with a few friends that either are estranged from family or, like us, don't live near their relatives. So we do have the tradition of making a big meal for about 11-17 people on Thanksgiving day and opening our little house up to about five of them that come from the city to camp out on the floor and couch. It's always a big production just because we have a very small kitchen and getting all those dishes out and onto the table takes strategy and making tables to accomodate that many people in our living room is a challenge, etc. But it always was a good kind of production.
This has been going on for years and our "Thanksgiving family" has known Caleb since he was born. When he was younger Caleb loved this holiday. When the pies were made and the turkey and side dishes were in the oven, he and I had a tradition of taking a walk down the street to some public buildings that have pyrrecanthus berries growing in the parking strip. We would gather colored leaves along the way and cut some berries and then when we came home we would add flowers from our yard and persimmons and make our decorations down the middle of the table.The last few years were painful because Caleb was either so depressed that he couldn't participate or so high that he couldn't. Last year, my husband and I and Caleb just packed our gear and went camping in the high desert for Thanksgiving. It was a decision that we made because there is nothing worse than faked celebration. When he was depressed we tried to draw him out, to distract and cajole him into the laughter. It was a terrible experience for him and for us.
This has been going on for years and our "Thanksgiving family" has known Caleb since he was born. When he was younger Caleb loved this holiday. When the pies were made and the turkey and side dishes were in the oven, he and I had a tradition of taking a walk down the street to some public buildings that have pyrrecanthus berries growing in the parking strip. We would gather colored leaves along the way and cut some berries and then when we came home we would add flowers from our yard and persimmons and make our decorations down the middle of the table.The last few years were painful because Caleb was either so depressed that he couldn't participate or so high that he couldn't. Last year, my husband and I and Caleb just packed our gear and went camping in the high desert for Thanksgiving. It was a decision that we made because there is nothing worse than faked celebration. When he was depressed we tried to draw him out, to distract and cajole him into the laughter. It was a terrible experience for him and for us.