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Leah Betts died from taking ecstasy a decade ago. Now her best friend talks for the first time about that tragic night - and tells how she has rebuilt her own life. By Lorna Martin
Giggling with pre-party nerves, the two best friends, who were affectionately known as the Siamese twins, put the finishing touches to their outfits and makeup. In the background, Oasis's Definitely Maybe CD played on repeat. Before they went downstairs, they looked excitedly at the four tiny white tablets they'd bought earlier. Unlike the ones they'd taken before, these were marked with an apple motif, indicating a higher purity and strength.
'Perhaps we should only take half,' 17-year-old Sarah Cargill said.
'Don't worry,' her friend reassured her. 'We've had a whole one before.'
Without another moment's hesitation they swallowed one each.
'We were so young and so curious,' Ms Cargill recalled. 'We never thought for one minute that anything bad might happen to us. We'd only ever had fun with ecstasy. We'd never had a bad experience.'
On Tuesday, it will be 10 years since Leah Betts turned 18. Her birthday party the following Saturday was a tragic experience, and one which was shared with the British nation.
In the years following her death, her parents went on to launch a high profile campaign warning of the dangers of drugs. For her best friend, the incident effectively marked an abrupt end to her childhood. She was crippled with guilt, moved away from the area, lost contact with all her old friends and initially found it difficult to form new friendships. Even now, most of her new friends and colleagues are unaware that she had taken drugs with Leah Betts, and was her 'soul mate'. She also said it has had a major influence on how she lives her life now and the way she will raise her own children, admitting that she thinks it inevitable that she will be very over protective. 'I learnt at the age of 17 about the fragility and preciousness of life. Until Leah died I thought we were invincible. Like all teenagers, I thought bad things only happened to other people.'
In her home in Surrey, which she shares with her partner of two years and her eight-month-old daughter, Ms Cargill, who is now 27, has spoken for the first time in almost 10 years about the profound influence the very public death of her best friend had on her. 'My life changed for ever that day. For a long time afterwards I just existed in a state of shock. One minute my best friend was there all the time. The next she was gone. It was very hard and I felt very lonely for a long time.' She said she felt guilty for being alive and because she hadn't said 'no, let's not take drugs'. 'I also felt guilty for her family. I hoped they wouldn't blame me and I was afraid her friends who didn't take drugs might blame me. I also felt so ashamed. My family thought I was a good girl. We both had good upbringings. We weren't stupid or deprived kids. But I felt I'd let everyone down - my parents and my grandparents. It's the worst feeling to let down the people who love you so much.'
The death of Leah Betts sparked a controversial new anti-drugs movement, but despite its shock tactics it has done little to reduce the number of young people experimenting with drugs. Home Office figures released last week showed that 45 per cent of 16-to-24-year-olds had tried illicit drugs at least once, and more than a quarter had taken them in the past year. Other data, published last month, found that ecstasy use had risen dramatically in cities and provincial towns across the UK, where it is now much cheaper and easier to get hold of than a can of lager.
Mike Linnell from the charity Lifeline told The Observer that children as young as 10 were bingeing on the pills, taking up to 20 a day.
'We are seeing kids of 12 and 13 who are buying it very cheaply - between 50 pence and £1 - and using it on a fairly regular basis. It's no longer a hedonistic drug taken in nightclubs. Kids are taking it because of its empathogenic qualities. They sit around in little groups on estates and chat. It's like their therapy session. They are taking it in some cases simply to relieve the boredom and trauma of their daily lives.'
The number of people whose deaths were blamed on ecstasy has increased sixfold from 12 in 1996 to 72 in 2002, when the last accurate figures were available. But the risk of an ecstasy-related death has been exaggerated in the media, according to the charity Drugscope, which points out that there are far more fatalities associated with the use of heroin, cocaine, tranquilisers and even aspirin. The charity is one of many organisations that have called for the drug to be reclassified from class A to class B on the basis that they do not believe it poses the same health risks, or related crime problems, as other class A drugs such as heroin or cocaine.
Ms Cargill is disheartened but not surprised that young people are taking drugs in ever-increasing numbers. She is deeply sceptical about the government's drugs strategy. But she is not in favour of decriminalisation or deregulation. Following the tragedy, she felt it was her duty to tell everyone not to touch drugs. 'I thought if I told everyone what happened to Leah it would stop all children from taking drugs.' Before too long, however, she realised it was a futile exercise.
'I have never touched any drug since that night and I wouldn't be friends with anyone who takes drugs,' she said. 'But I think the sad truth is that it is impossible to stop children experimenting with drugs. Teenagers are naturally rebellious. Even if they have a good upbringing, it is natural for them to rebel. If you simply tell children drugs are bad, while their friends are telling them they're great, then the chances are they're going to listen to their friends.'
Despite this, she said she planned to sit down with her daughter before she started secondary school to discuss the issue with her. She also said one day she would tell her about Leah.
The two friends had been inseparable since they met at the age of 14. They went to clubs and pubs together, on holiday together and, when they started college, Leah stayed at the Cargill home during the week. 'She became like the sister I never had.'
It was when they started further education - Ms Cargill was doing a diploma in travel and tourism and now works in the industry, while Leah was taking A-levels and planning to go to university to study psychology - that they decided they wanted to try drugs. Ms Cargill said there was no peer pressure. Instead, she said it was simply a matter of curiosity. They wanted to try cannabis, but when they tried to buy it they were offered ecstasy instead.
On the night of Leah Betts's 18th birthday party - Saturday 11 November 1995 - around 30 guests were crammed into the front room of her parents' remote farmhouse near Latchingdon, Essex. Both her parents had remained in the house during the party specifically for the purpose of stopping any drug taking. They stayed in the kitchen while the teenagers danced to Oasis, Nirvana and Green Day. Some drank, others smoked cannabis, a handful took ecstasy.
Ms Cargill first realised something was wrong when Leah complained of serious pains in her head and legs.
'She was hanging over the washbasin being sick, then she said she couldn't see and collapsed. She was screaming for her mum to help her.'
As Leah was transferred in a coma to intensive care at Broomfield Hospital, Chelmsford, a police officer was reading Ms Cargill and the other guests their legal rights. Five days after her party, Leah's life-support machine was switched off. An inquest found that her brain had swollen, which experts said was a result of her drinking a large amount of water in accordance with the advice given to ecstasy users at the time.
The day after she died, her father, Paul, a former policeman, called for her drug supplier to be tried for murder and if found guilty sent to the gallows. In the atmosphere of heightened emotions that gripped the nation after her death, it seemed to many an understandable comment. The family released a photograph showing Leah connected to a ventilator and on the verge of death. It was splashed on front pages across the country and the media started a feeding frenzy. Their message: E is for evil.
Ms Cargill said she was haunted by that image. 'Whenever I tried to sleep, that picture flashed through my mind. Even now, I can still see it vividly.' She also said it took weeks for the news of Leah's death to sink in. 'I visited her in hospital on the Sunday and even although she was in a coma and connected to a life-support machine, I was convinced she'd be all right. I thought only heroin addicts died.'
Eventually, when the truth did hit her, she said she felt crippled by guilt and contemplated suicide. Every weekend she visited her friend's grave, taking flowers, chocolates, letters and poems she had written for her. In the years that followed, her walls were adorned with photographs of the two girls together. She no longer has them, but still keeps some of Leah's jewellery. For around two years, she remained in close contact with Leah's parents, saying it was mutually beneficial and a huge source of support. However, she is no longer in touch with them. 'I had to move on,' she said quietly. She said she thinks it took her about eight years to come to terms with what happened.
These days, she seems settled and content living a quiet family life. She has a new circle of friends and said she wouldn't have survived without the immense support of her family
As she prepares for the 10th anniversary of her friend's death, Ms Cargill said she felt indebted to her. 'What happened to Leah could have saved my life. Because if she hadn't died, I think I might have carried on with the drugs. For five years I visited her grave every week, but I had to stop it so I wrote her a letter and buried it at her graveside. I said I couldn't visit her any more because it was tearing me apart. I said I had to get on with my life. But I said I wouldn't ever forget her and I told her that she would always be my best friend.'
Ecstasy use in Britain
Ecstasy is a street name given to the tablet form of 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA). Tablets can be purchased for as little as 50 pence and the drug has just been overtaken by cocaine as the most commonly used class A drug in the UK. Last year, 5 per cent of 16 to 24-year-olds had used ecstasy in the previous year and an estimated 700,000 people take it every week.
Legal uses In the late 1970s, MDMA was used by US psychotherapists as a therapeutic drug. It was nicknamed 'Adam', as it seemingly returned to patient to a natural state of 'innocence'.
Illegal uses MDMA became known as the 'yuppie psychedelic' and was banned in 1977. It is now an illegal class A narcotic. MDMA re-emerged in pill form in the 1980s and became the drug of choice for rave culture. Since then the drug has become synonymous with dance music culture.
Celebrity use
Celebrities who have admitted taking ecstasy include Oasis frontman Noel Gallagher, who claimed that taking drugs is 'like having a cup of tea', boyband star Brian Harvey and Blur's Damon Albarn.
Come-downs
Ecstasy can cause the body temperature to rise to dangerously high levels, and short-term effects can include anxiety, panic attacks, first-time epileptic fits and paranoia. Long-term effects are still unclear, but can include depression, personality change and memory loss.
-----------------------------------------------
'Ten years have passed - yet I'm still haunted by Leah's death'
The Observer
30 October 2005
Link
Giggling with pre-party nerves, the two best friends, who were affectionately known as the Siamese twins, put the finishing touches to their outfits and makeup. In the background, Oasis's Definitely Maybe CD played on repeat. Before they went downstairs, they looked excitedly at the four tiny white tablets they'd bought earlier. Unlike the ones they'd taken before, these were marked with an apple motif, indicating a higher purity and strength.
'Perhaps we should only take half,' 17-year-old Sarah Cargill said.
'Don't worry,' her friend reassured her. 'We've had a whole one before.'
Without another moment's hesitation they swallowed one each.
'We were so young and so curious,' Ms Cargill recalled. 'We never thought for one minute that anything bad might happen to us. We'd only ever had fun with ecstasy. We'd never had a bad experience.'
On Tuesday, it will be 10 years since Leah Betts turned 18. Her birthday party the following Saturday was a tragic experience, and one which was shared with the British nation.
In the years following her death, her parents went on to launch a high profile campaign warning of the dangers of drugs. For her best friend, the incident effectively marked an abrupt end to her childhood. She was crippled with guilt, moved away from the area, lost contact with all her old friends and initially found it difficult to form new friendships. Even now, most of her new friends and colleagues are unaware that she had taken drugs with Leah Betts, and was her 'soul mate'. She also said it has had a major influence on how she lives her life now and the way she will raise her own children, admitting that she thinks it inevitable that she will be very over protective. 'I learnt at the age of 17 about the fragility and preciousness of life. Until Leah died I thought we were invincible. Like all teenagers, I thought bad things only happened to other people.'
In her home in Surrey, which she shares with her partner of two years and her eight-month-old daughter, Ms Cargill, who is now 27, has spoken for the first time in almost 10 years about the profound influence the very public death of her best friend had on her. 'My life changed for ever that day. For a long time afterwards I just existed in a state of shock. One minute my best friend was there all the time. The next she was gone. It was very hard and I felt very lonely for a long time.' She said she felt guilty for being alive and because she hadn't said 'no, let's not take drugs'. 'I also felt guilty for her family. I hoped they wouldn't blame me and I was afraid her friends who didn't take drugs might blame me. I also felt so ashamed. My family thought I was a good girl. We both had good upbringings. We weren't stupid or deprived kids. But I felt I'd let everyone down - my parents and my grandparents. It's the worst feeling to let down the people who love you so much.'
The death of Leah Betts sparked a controversial new anti-drugs movement, but despite its shock tactics it has done little to reduce the number of young people experimenting with drugs. Home Office figures released last week showed that 45 per cent of 16-to-24-year-olds had tried illicit drugs at least once, and more than a quarter had taken them in the past year. Other data, published last month, found that ecstasy use had risen dramatically in cities and provincial towns across the UK, where it is now much cheaper and easier to get hold of than a can of lager.
Mike Linnell from the charity Lifeline told The Observer that children as young as 10 were bingeing on the pills, taking up to 20 a day.
'We are seeing kids of 12 and 13 who are buying it very cheaply - between 50 pence and £1 - and using it on a fairly regular basis. It's no longer a hedonistic drug taken in nightclubs. Kids are taking it because of its empathogenic qualities. They sit around in little groups on estates and chat. It's like their therapy session. They are taking it in some cases simply to relieve the boredom and trauma of their daily lives.'
The number of people whose deaths were blamed on ecstasy has increased sixfold from 12 in 1996 to 72 in 2002, when the last accurate figures were available. But the risk of an ecstasy-related death has been exaggerated in the media, according to the charity Drugscope, which points out that there are far more fatalities associated with the use of heroin, cocaine, tranquilisers and even aspirin. The charity is one of many organisations that have called for the drug to be reclassified from class A to class B on the basis that they do not believe it poses the same health risks, or related crime problems, as other class A drugs such as heroin or cocaine.
Ms Cargill is disheartened but not surprised that young people are taking drugs in ever-increasing numbers. She is deeply sceptical about the government's drugs strategy. But she is not in favour of decriminalisation or deregulation. Following the tragedy, she felt it was her duty to tell everyone not to touch drugs. 'I thought if I told everyone what happened to Leah it would stop all children from taking drugs.' Before too long, however, she realised it was a futile exercise.
'I have never touched any drug since that night and I wouldn't be friends with anyone who takes drugs,' she said. 'But I think the sad truth is that it is impossible to stop children experimenting with drugs. Teenagers are naturally rebellious. Even if they have a good upbringing, it is natural for them to rebel. If you simply tell children drugs are bad, while their friends are telling them they're great, then the chances are they're going to listen to their friends.'
Despite this, she said she planned to sit down with her daughter before she started secondary school to discuss the issue with her. She also said one day she would tell her about Leah.
The two friends had been inseparable since they met at the age of 14. They went to clubs and pubs together, on holiday together and, when they started college, Leah stayed at the Cargill home during the week. 'She became like the sister I never had.'
It was when they started further education - Ms Cargill was doing a diploma in travel and tourism and now works in the industry, while Leah was taking A-levels and planning to go to university to study psychology - that they decided they wanted to try drugs. Ms Cargill said there was no peer pressure. Instead, she said it was simply a matter of curiosity. They wanted to try cannabis, but when they tried to buy it they were offered ecstasy instead.
On the night of Leah Betts's 18th birthday party - Saturday 11 November 1995 - around 30 guests were crammed into the front room of her parents' remote farmhouse near Latchingdon, Essex. Both her parents had remained in the house during the party specifically for the purpose of stopping any drug taking. They stayed in the kitchen while the teenagers danced to Oasis, Nirvana and Green Day. Some drank, others smoked cannabis, a handful took ecstasy.
Ms Cargill first realised something was wrong when Leah complained of serious pains in her head and legs.
'She was hanging over the washbasin being sick, then she said she couldn't see and collapsed. She was screaming for her mum to help her.'
As Leah was transferred in a coma to intensive care at Broomfield Hospital, Chelmsford, a police officer was reading Ms Cargill and the other guests their legal rights. Five days after her party, Leah's life-support machine was switched off. An inquest found that her brain had swollen, which experts said was a result of her drinking a large amount of water in accordance with the advice given to ecstasy users at the time.
The day after she died, her father, Paul, a former policeman, called for her drug supplier to be tried for murder and if found guilty sent to the gallows. In the atmosphere of heightened emotions that gripped the nation after her death, it seemed to many an understandable comment. The family released a photograph showing Leah connected to a ventilator and on the verge of death. It was splashed on front pages across the country and the media started a feeding frenzy. Their message: E is for evil.
Ms Cargill said she was haunted by that image. 'Whenever I tried to sleep, that picture flashed through my mind. Even now, I can still see it vividly.' She also said it took weeks for the news of Leah's death to sink in. 'I visited her in hospital on the Sunday and even although she was in a coma and connected to a life-support machine, I was convinced she'd be all right. I thought only heroin addicts died.'
Eventually, when the truth did hit her, she said she felt crippled by guilt and contemplated suicide. Every weekend she visited her friend's grave, taking flowers, chocolates, letters and poems she had written for her. In the years that followed, her walls were adorned with photographs of the two girls together. She no longer has them, but still keeps some of Leah's jewellery. For around two years, she remained in close contact with Leah's parents, saying it was mutually beneficial and a huge source of support. However, she is no longer in touch with them. 'I had to move on,' she said quietly. She said she thinks it took her about eight years to come to terms with what happened.
These days, she seems settled and content living a quiet family life. She has a new circle of friends and said she wouldn't have survived without the immense support of her family
As she prepares for the 10th anniversary of her friend's death, Ms Cargill said she felt indebted to her. 'What happened to Leah could have saved my life. Because if she hadn't died, I think I might have carried on with the drugs. For five years I visited her grave every week, but I had to stop it so I wrote her a letter and buried it at her graveside. I said I couldn't visit her any more because it was tearing me apart. I said I had to get on with my life. But I said I wouldn't ever forget her and I told her that she would always be my best friend.'
Ecstasy use in Britain
Ecstasy is a street name given to the tablet form of 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA). Tablets can be purchased for as little as 50 pence and the drug has just been overtaken by cocaine as the most commonly used class A drug in the UK. Last year, 5 per cent of 16 to 24-year-olds had used ecstasy in the previous year and an estimated 700,000 people take it every week.
Legal uses In the late 1970s, MDMA was used by US psychotherapists as a therapeutic drug. It was nicknamed 'Adam', as it seemingly returned to patient to a natural state of 'innocence'.
Illegal uses MDMA became known as the 'yuppie psychedelic' and was banned in 1977. It is now an illegal class A narcotic. MDMA re-emerged in pill form in the 1980s and became the drug of choice for rave culture. Since then the drug has become synonymous with dance music culture.
Celebrity use
Celebrities who have admitted taking ecstasy include Oasis frontman Noel Gallagher, who claimed that taking drugs is 'like having a cup of tea', boyband star Brian Harvey and Blur's Damon Albarn.
Come-downs
Ecstasy can cause the body temperature to rise to dangerously high levels, and short-term effects can include anxiety, panic attacks, first-time epileptic fits and paranoia. Long-term effects are still unclear, but can include depression, personality change and memory loss.
-----------------------------------------------
'Ten years have passed - yet I'm still haunted by Leah's death'
The Observer
30 October 2005
Link
. The guilt method of not using drugs only leads to more problems which are then blamed on drug use and drug users.
8( ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
