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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Tell me What YOU think. Heroin questions

Okay, my man is the one who got me clean, he is in medical school and I am 100% sure he is 100% clean we are 100% honest with each other.... I'm
The one w the bad thoughts guys, this is my problem, we've been together 7 years and it's not just some little relationship that needs ending, it's the ONLY reason I'm clean, he would have NEVER EVER used if I wouldn't have brought it into the house, I was the one with connections, he has never bought any type of drug, other than alcohol or cigs... So no that's is NOT the problem at all, it's always been me, and that's my fault. Not anyone elses he is the ONLY good influence I have in my life, and without him, I would still be a junkie. Sorry guys u got it soooo wrong.

Amd dueceace... What ur doing, as a greenlighter doesn't work, I've tried.... Honestly u will end up deleted, plus no one even knows where u r... Not too smart, and how dare u post that on a post of someone trying to get clean. That's an a$$ move. Go somewhere else that has nothin to do w my post, and thanks PChild for putting that out there.

But yeah... My man is my rock I will NEVER EVER leave him... He doesn't use... And maybe bc u don't know him, u don't get it, but he is not like secretly scoring in-between class at medical school honestly.

Sorry I just can't reiterate that enough. Thanks for that guys but you are very wrong about that, so wrong in fact I feel bad.
 
in the long term 1month clean isn't much, i wouldn't risk copping a bag even though its just once, coz you might do the same the next month, then 2 weeks after, and befor long you'll slip back into addiction...

my advice is to wait a few more months, and then allow yourself ONE treat.... imo
 
Will I be stronger in a cpl months? Or will that just mean I have more control? I'm just wondering if that justification is okay, bc I wanted to get it Monday, but will I be stronger in the future and thus more incontrol and able to do this? Honestly I jut want to know. There is a lot of experience here.
 
Puffpuffcup said:
Will I be stronger in a cpl months? Or will that just mean I have more control? I'm just wondering if that justification is okay, bc I wanted to get it Monday, but will I be stronger in the future and thus more incontrol and able to do this? Honestly I jut want to know. There is a lot of experience here.
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You will certainly have more experience Puffpuff! You know the old expression “You live and learn”? You’re definitely living and learning; no question about that! And you'll be stronger because of it. I don't know that any of us have more control over something like this and you might want to be careful over a false sense of control.

It’s always a good thing when you learn something good or bad; if nothing else you can chalk it up to experience.

But I gotta say you’re doing the right thing by putting this all out here taking advantage of the wealth of knowledge on these message boards.
 
But I gotta say you’re doing the right thing by putting this all out here taking advantage of the wealth of knowledge on these message boards

Indeed so true. I often wonder if I had ask questions before I started down this road, could I have avoided all the pain that opiates have put me through. It's great to draw on the knowledge of people that have been there, not just read something in a book, and assume the author knows what he's talking about'.

Puff,

Certainly as more time passes, you will become stronger and better equipped to avoid relapse. But let me throw out one scenario as to how you could get tripped up. Say you score, and go ahead and use it. Then say to yourself, I'm strong and can handle it. But you wait a week, month, ect. before you touch it again. But never the less, you do reach for it again. These "chipping" sessions may last month or years. But if you start increasing the frequency and amount of your dose, one day it would probably, finally put you back in the same 'ol shit hole of addiction. See, no ones saying that you will in trouble after using one time. It's just that it can start the ball to rolling. Does that make sense?

Best
 
I wouldn't go around making random dumb posts with like one word or anything. good way to get yourself banned. so don't be in a hurry, post only if it calls for it/you have something important to say.
 
I'm not that dumb, I have really only made real posts... So yah... Thanks for the info but I'm LEGIT. :-)
well guys I'm not gonna lie, I did try some and honestly I was like eweew.... It made me sick and I really don't even want it... Anyone want it(joke, I am not serious, no u cannot have my shiz bc it's against the rulez) Lol honestly, I really don't even want the rest, am I not normal? I really just guess I feel over it, I thought I was gonna be all psycho about getting it and doing it all.. Now it's just sitting there and I'm like ,, eh.... But I guess it's a good thing, this time I didn't "work my way up" to the H, I just did it, made me throw up on the bus home(I made it to the potty):) thank god, but I haven't done any more since then and it's pretty cool... I know I went against everythig u guys said, I did listen and I wasn't gonna indulge, but then I saw my old dealer at the gas station, amd it was already done b4 I could say no. I also was in a crap ton of pain from the Dr. Apt I had, they had to steal some tissue so I was not feeling my best,

Tell me why u thunk I feel this way, have I won myself over psychologically or am I Just not right in the head when it comes To drugs?
I'll post again later to clear up any confusion, I feel like this post is full of unorganized thoughts... Sorry,
 
well guys I'm not gonna lie, I did try some

Hey Puff,

I wish I could say I was surprised, but I can't. I felt like you had already made up your mind, when you wrote the first post.

So where from here. Since you were disappointed,are you saying your not going to touch it again? Hope so.

By the way, since you are now turned off it, I am assuming you threw the rest away, huh? Yeah, I didn't think so.

I feel that you will keep "chipping" now and then until you finally catch one super high. Just like old times. And then, where will you go from there? Maybe you will continue down the straight and narrow. Or maybe you will take a trip down memory lane.

Time will surely tell.

I wish you the very best.
 
Actually I gave it to an old friend because it made me sick... honestly i feel like I don't even want to deal with it anymore, i did do some more.... but i just kept gtting soooo sick... *I didn't use the needle like I used to, just nasally* so i dont know what i did wrong so that i kept getting so sicki would throw up... I had a DR. apt the other day, that was pretty invasive so i think the mixture of trauma and heroin made me super sick but even when i tried it againn, i got sick.. IDK... I honestly didnt want it.... so I called a friend from old times who i know still uses and handed it over...... is that smart? or should i have kept it? I don't want to make it seem like all the advice you gave to me was pointless i really dont... i just want to know what you guys know so that i can not f up... a lot... I really wanted to be legit.. but seeing my dealer there made me so ooooo not legit.. so I want to say that I'm telling you guys this because i want to be accountable for my badness, but i also want to say, that bc i f'ed up, dont just get pissed and not talk to me or give me advice.. bc i think that times like these are the times i do need more advice...
but i think that i did a good thing by handing it off to an old friend who i havent talked to since old tmes.. he sure was happy to see a half price piece of a 50 pack given to him... o well. At least i got my money back for part of it.
Though I am actually happy i tried to do it, maybe now i wont want to do it bc it affects me differently than it used t... am i correct or is this psychological and i really am just thinking that i wont want it again just bc of this one time?

IDK... let me know when you can so i can try to understand why i do these things and why i am so ridiculous.
SOrry for letting you guys down.. please dont judge me too hard i am not a bad person, just a person who wanted a good time.. like you all did or d at some points.
thanks again brothers
PUFFPUFF
 
bump...

hey guys please dont give up on me! i really wanted to talk more, unless you all feel there is no more to discuss, then i will be content.
thanks again
 
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