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Teacher/student relations

Cohesion

Cohesion

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 21, 2010
Messages
1,069
Location
Portland, OR
Hi

I will need some help in choosing material for my next email to a prof.:

I haven't been to class in 5 weeks. I have most of the assignments completed, however. The final was yesterday. I meant to either
A) attend and hand in papers
B) email her and ask for an Incomplete

However now it is over 24 hours later, and I don't know how to approach her.
The prof is super laid back, older, and this is her last semester teaching the course.

The reason for my absences includes the following:

1. Codependent relationship
2. Bouts of agoraphobia
3. Embarrassment at my absences
4. No child care
5. Was off meds

Your .02 is welcome!
 
no one likes excuses. id just be straight up.

"hey, i'm sorry i disrespected you and your class by not showing up, but i did manage to complete all the assignments. i assume you are not interested in my excuses, however valid they may be. all i can hope for is that you exercise some compassion."
 
GREAT, that is just the response I need to create the proper tone. I'll let you know if I get an I or an F.
 
as an instructor, and this is merely what *i* would ask for from a student in your situation. now, i've heard every story in the book, and i've only taught for one semester. i try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but in an instance of habitual missed absences, i would require some sort of documentation regarding your absences. for instance, you say you went off your meds and were dealing with agoraphobia issues, i would ask you to see a doctor to show some sort of documentation.

regardless if she is super laid back, teachers expect *something* from their students (e.g. showing up, turning things in when they're supposed to, contacting in case of numerous missed absences, etc.).

i would ask her what she needs from you and offer some sort of plan of attack with her.

of course, this is what i would expect from my students, but that's me. :)
 
You should be totally honest and tell her everything you told us in this thread. Also ask her exactly what documentation you'll need to give her / the school in order to avoid failing. Universities run on bits of signed paper. If you have the right ones then you'll be completely fine.
 
Dr.:

I am writing about my attendance.
I have completed most of the assignments for the course and was planning to arrive on Tues. for the final, however I was unable to make it. I do not recall if you received the document from my physician regarding some of the issues I am facing this semester? Though you must not be interested in excuses, however valid they may be, there is a list of legitimate reasons for all this.
I am going to be on campus today to sign paperwork to authorize Incompletes in 2 of my courses. Is there something we can work out for an Incomplete? Your response is greatly appreciated. As I mentioned I have completed most all of the assignments. I’m sorry to have disrespected you and your course by not showing up. Please let me know what you think.
Also, if there are any documents you want me to complete such as the Evaluation, I can do so by visiting the department.

Thanks,

*
I appreciate your responses guys thanks. For some reason it took a ton of mental anguish to contact her.
 
give yourself credit to contacting the professor! you might've found it so hard to do because you can only imagine a negative result occurring, which is perfectly reasonable. most of your peers probably would've got stoned, blew it off and ate the F. takes a man to take responsibility!
 
Binge_Artist said:
...Hope the prof doesn't google phrases in your email...


Probably not likely, but maybe it would be best to wrap it in NSFW tags?
Click to expand...

Meh, I don't think most people are that creepy. Besides, there is nothing wrong with talking with others about improving relations.

KamMoye said:
give yourself credit to contacting the professor! you might've found it so hard to do because you can only imagine a negative result occurring, which is perfectly reasonable. most of your peers probably would've got stoned, blew it off and ate the F. takes a man to take responsibility!
Click to expand...

It takes a man- ha! It definitely takes repeated failure, not sure about the man bit. Work smarter, not harder.
 
Depressicaa said:
Yes it is rather. I was hoping to say whatever goes goes. :p
And to offer sex if everything else fails.
Click to expand...

:D When all else fails, do the animal.

I loove the subtle, sexually-charged power relationship that sometimes ebbs into my teacher/self relations, when I've been lucky enough to ...

(Please add 1 sentence. kthx)
 
I was at a conference a couple of weeks ago when the topic of sexual relationships with students came up. The general consensus is that students trying to hit on us is awkward, embarassing and sometimes slightly pathetic. While there are a few exceptions I'm sure, as a general rule academics aren't really attracted to undergraduate students because of how immature they are. Sorry but it's true.

On the other hand, I have heard a few stories of academics having sex with their PhD students. In fact I know of one who left his wife in order to marry the PhD student he'd been having an affair with.
 
so that means the better you are at attracting the opposite sex, the more you will stand out if you are able to hit on teachers competently

ez game
 
Dear friends are what students can become after they've graduated and entered adult life. I cherish my friends who were students once upon a time. They were only my students for one year in all cases, but the years I have them for friends are many. A definite win.

It does not have to be a sexual relationship in order for teachers and students to have "relations" as the topic heading states.... "relations" has a negative connotation.
 
did you get a response from your prof?

i messed up a class in a similar fashion... initially, i had a medical excuse to miss a few classes and then i was too nervous/scared to approach the professor about it. 8 weeks later, i still hadn't attended class because after each class i missed, i was even more nervous about attending the next class and explaining all the previous absences. i finally got the courage to approach my professor during his office hours and explained the whole situation. i got an incomplete and was able to complete the work over the quarter break.
 
@Ugly- 'relations' miight have a negative connotation, though for me it (and its derivatives, e.g. 'relationship') is a convenient, flexible term..

@Satric- You must be familiar with the mechanism of Groupthink. This is what must be responsible for your peers' review of Undergraduates + "relations". 8)8)
 
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