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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

TDS Member Feedback - Questions? Comments? Suggestions?

Hi InsaneJane, thanks for the feedback/suggestion :)

This is the first post in the current ED support thread:
n3ophy7e said:
This thread is for support of anyone who is suffering with, or has had an eating disorder.

Please post thoughtfully and sensitively, and please do not post anything which may be triggering to someone who is trying to avoid their eating disorder.
Triggering material may include photos of excessively skinny people, explicit discussion of specific weight amounts, excess discussion of food, graphic description of binging/purging behaviour, etc.
The usual TDS rule applies of no general triggering content allowed e.g. violence, self-harm, drugs and/or drug use, including alcohol.

If you feel triggered by any comments or discussion that you read in here please seek professional help and/or talk to a close friend or family member about how you're feeling.
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So we essentially already have the "no numbers" rule but we're not as strict on this as some other forums/organisations are.

As with any thread on Bluelight, if someone has posted something which you find offensive or a breach of the forum guidelines, please report it to the moderators and we will deal with it accordingly :)
 
Hi there
I did actually read that thread, as well as the first version that is now in archives- but came accross a lot of food and weight talk, which i dont find offensive, and usually I am not triggered by specific food/weight/calorie discussion at this point in my life anyway. Furthermore I dont mean to imply that censorship or creating a taboo around these topics actually solves any issues. I think there are times when an open discussion can actually be helpful- I mean obviously
it is what is on our mind much of the time! At the same time I recognize the fact that there are times where a more "strict" approach to determining what may be discussed is warranted, Thus what I intended to suggest is that it may be worthwhile to have two threads, with one that is more focused on and dedicated to recovery and another for open discussion.

I understand that this is not an eating disorder forum but after seeing the number of posters speak up, I just wanted to feel this idea out, to ask if it would be possible, and see if anyone else might be interested or thinks it is a good idea? I hope that clarifies my intention, as I really did not want it to come accross as a complaint- my very reason for raising it outside of the original thread. :)
 
It's okay hun, I completely understand where you're coming from! We welcome ALL feedback and suggestions, whether they're good or bad, feasible or not.

Firstly, I'm going to merge this in with the existing TDS Feedback thread just so it's all gathered in the one thread. Hope that's okay.

Secondly, my main concern of having the two separate ED threads is that I'm not sure how useful it would be, having one for strict recovery discussion and the other for general weight/food/ED discussion. Technically if we have the latter, anyone who is suffering badly from their ED and is very susceptible to triggering content can still access the less strictly moderated thread and could still be triggered by the content. If we were going to be more strict in one ED thread then that would have to extend across the board of all ED discussion. Know what I mean?

But I'll discuss it with the other TDS mods and let you know what we think.

Thanks again <3
 
My latest feedback is that, while the TDS Mod team was already stellar to begin with the all-stars N3o, ocean, PiP, and PA, OverDone was by far the best addition possible and I'm so happy to see him doing such a great job!

Here's to the entire TDS Mod team, but especially OverDone. Merry Christmas you guys!
 
Just dropping a line - TDS has become a wonderful home for me - I do tend to vanish here and there - but that is in the past - I am stable and while life will always be hard .. I now have people in my corner who have shown me love <3 , thank you for opening the door to support , to friends that I love and wll be seeing in RL :). You guys don't know how much it means to me. I never used to open up, it's been huge.
 
Forum Moderator said:
2. Do any part of our Forum Guidelines come off as unfair, unreasonable and/or incomplete? Building on this, TDS is a forum that has rather strict rules when compared with other forums. Do you believe that we are too strict in certain areas? Not strict enough in others?
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I'm new to these forums, I typically stay in CE&P or P&S, so you'll have to excuse me if this suggestion has been addressed in some form or fashion. I was looking through the rules and this particular thread and haven't found one revelation that helped me as a teenager. When I was younger I had a variety of drugs to cherry pick and I did so frequently, consequently; I developed a depression episode. The doctors were all too eager to start me on anti-depressants and at the time divulging my colorful drug use wasn't a priority as I didn't think it related. When I began the treatment, it went from relatively bad to much worse. Long story to conclusion I think it would be beneficial for people to list their drug use and or addiction. I'm not a doctor and I am not sure if they always relate, but I think this information would be helpful to people seeking help. I wouldn't want anyone going through what I did.


Forum Moderator said:
1. Can you give us your overall impression of TDS from when you first found the site and the forum? And now that you've been here awhile, does it still match that impression, or has it changed? How? And is that a good or bad thing in your opinion? This can extend anywhere from changes in overall tone to themes of threads to community feel to anything else which comes to mind.
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Like I said I am new here, but already I have immense and absolute respect for those who operate under this banner. The altruism involved is nothing short of Sainthood. Reading through the rigors of this forum has given me some relief, I don't know what it relieved but going over the people who make it possible brightened an already great day. Too much of our culture is spent making downtime fun, it stands to reason our tools are dangerous ones. I've seen many people laid to waste from many topics of depression to ignorance and to see it all funneled into this website is a humbling. I have deep respect for our culture, drug use is to be respected, and like knowledge is to be shared :) I don't think I can show enough appreciation for what I have found here, so I will just leave it open ended.
 
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Wow thank you for the lovely words Shrooms <3

Shrooms00087 said:
Long story to conclusion I think it would be beneficial for people to list their drug use and or addiction. I'm not a doctor and I am not sure if they always relate, but I think this information would be helpful to people seeking help. I wouldn't want anyone going through what I did.
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Thank you for the suggestion. Do you mean, like, make a new thread where everyone has the opportunity to list their drug use/addiction? Or do you mean have it listed somewhere else?
 
^
Well, if it was relevant to their problem, maybe when they begin their thread with a topic that could be tied to their drug use.
 
^ Wishing an OPs included more info is almost every active TDS members wish I think, at least at times. I wish more posters listed their locale in a general way because some my possible suggestions of resources are completely dependent on where they are. The reality is even if it were in the guidelines to please be complete about several different relevant factors it still wouldn't happen that much because distressed folks making threads in TDS are often going to make omissions and have to be drawn out in the coarse of the thread.

But I do know what you mean about gaps in pertinent info within threads, sometimes including DOC.
 
Yep Shrooms I definitely see your point. It might just be a bit difficult to execute that with so many active members, and so many new members coming in to TDS all the time. Sometimes all of that info gradually comes out in the natural course of a thread discussion as well :)
Feel free to PM me if you wish to discuss this further though!
 
I have an idea...

In lieu of this thread, I started to think about how we could have a Bluelight equivalent of a NA/AA which is spiritual, rather than religious, based.

There would be ground rules, in addition to the TDS guidelines.

We could do it so that everyone comes online within the same day, or 1-2 hour period as each other.

What's everyone's thoughts about this? I know we already have a thread for alcoholism, heroin/opiate addiction, meth/amphetamine addiction... but this would be for everyone, whether they are being directly or indirectly effected by drug addiction, or another addiction (gambling, sex) or disorder (physical or psychological).
 
OverDone said:
can you elaborate a little more, good Captain?
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OK lets say a few of us get tired of going to NA/AA meetings in real life, and maybe some of us are unable to go to them because we live in the middle of nowhere or are physically disabled... and then others of us have intense social anxiety, or even agoraphobia.

So we have something similar where we all come together ever, oh let's say Saturday, to have a meeting. We can have a general theme, everyone can share their story they want to share associated with the theme/idea/lesson, etc, then we reflect on it.

I have never been to a meeting before, but I think this would be a neat idea.

What do you think?

It doesn't have anything to do with the 12 steps, or religion. However it would still be focused about harm reduction, community, seeking out a better life for onesself, physical and mental health, and spirituality.
 
OverDone said:
I like this idea a lot but there could be a number of potential issues. What makes the 12 Step Fellowships strong is the adherence to Traditions. These Traditions maintain a consistent and clear 'message' so that no matter where a person goes for a meeting they should receive the same message and the main purpose doesn't get lost. For example... in NA, religious quotes, inspirational poetry, song lyrics, self-help books are not to be shared from the table or the floor. people can talk about them before and after a meeting on an individual level but none of these have anything to do with the 'program' of recovery

If we were to do this we would have to put some well thought out 'Traditions/Guidelines' of our own.

The basis of the 12 Steps are what afre called 'Spiritual Principles'. Ocean pointed out to me earlier that these principles are essentially signs of good character (12 Steps refer to removing the 'defects of character' in order to progress in recovery)

Perhaps we could make the 'Guidelines' for this suggestion focus on developing and improving these traits of character (honesty, open-mindedness, willingness, patience, tolerance, empathy, perseverance, courage, faith, trust, commitment, humility, faith (non-religious), forgiveness, acceptance, service, etc)?

Leadership would also be an issue. There is no model of the ideal recovering addict. We are all the same, no greater or lesser than another regardless of clean time, experience, education, etc. With 12 Stepping, people rotate responsibilities in the service structure with an attitude of service as opposed to prestige. There is a saying that 'money, property and prestige' will divert us from our primary purpose.

If TDS was to do something along these lines we would need to strictly define our own primary purpose and make a strong effort to NEVER detract from it.

These are just thoughts off the top of my head...

On a side note... there are on-line meetings available and also meetings that people can participate in via their telephones. I haven't used either but a google search will reveal a bunch!
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oh....wow! I had no idea that there are meetings via telephone and the internet... it seems NA beat me to it! =D

To be fair, I had no idea such a thing existed, and am actually glad it does. Issues like agoraphobia or extreme social anxiety often coincide with drug dependence/substance abuse issues.
 
OverDone said:
yeah, one of the things that is common among addicts is the comfort in isolation. Spending time with yourself and isolating are two dissimilar things. When i physically go to meetings it helps me break the pattern of isolation that I am so accustomed to when I am actively using. Not only that b ut it helps me practice some of the principles mentioned above.

Another benefit is that going to meetings also prepares me for interaction with others in 'real life' and helps me in practicing people skills. These skills can be beneficial when dealing with every day people that have strong personalities that are encountered through the daily grind

I do like this idea and would love to hear other input from folks
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Thank you for adding links to the previous post. I will check it out some time.
 
i love tds, its great. you guys are doing a fantastic job. whatever it is youre doing keep doing it.:)
 
There is so much good done by TDS regulars and staff that I think many folks don't ever want to bring up constructive criticism especially minor suggestions when TDS is doing so mucg good for so many.

I'm a bit of an asshole complainer though so I will make a suggestion. Looking at sticky threads with a mentality to consolidate, eliminate, and possibly unstick some could be a good thing perhaps.

Also I'm always in favor of flirting, sexual harassment, teasing, cajoling, bothering, nuzzling, tickling, poking, stripping, flashing, and raising mayhem. I'm betting my suggestion to consider maybe have less stickies will be considered a bit more than my suggestion we embrace sexual chaos and bother each other a lot more. Bothering suggestion is based at least in part by my wish that people would bother and tease me more than they do, but I accept there is a serious mission here. <3 intoxicated drivel struck
 
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^It is always my mission to make sexual innuendos and flirt outrageously with you Enki ;)

Thank you for the feedback!
 
/me flashes Enki

;)

We do have a whole whack of stickies at the top of the page, and I've just gone and added another one, but for the most part I think that they each generally serve a good purpose. Any specific thoughts on consolidation?
 
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