Howsway
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2018
- Messages
- 205
well this wouldn't be a recovery thread if we weren't honest about how life REALLY is. This weekend honestly craziest, scariest, dangerous, and blessed moments of my life.
I've been on and off meth for almost a year now. of course, i had made "future" plans to quit the end of this month, the infamous "ill quit tomorrow." only this time, tomorrow couldn't wait. three days into no sleep, psychosis sets in.
one moment i'm skyping a fellow BL member in my room and the next im panicking trying to figure out how to hide my stash before the cops/CIA bust in my room. Suddenly i'm in the bathroom, pipe shattered, handa cut, and a gram or so freshly swallowed thinking i was in the clear.
not only was i in psychosis, but i had a gram of tina waiting to settle, and the rest of the week will haunt me for the rest of my life.
that night i spent under parked cars trying to transform the car to help the cops, to jumping fences into a deserted business where i lived like the wild naked, terrified, and running from the cops in what was only my mind. Panicking, dehydrated, no one was there and my phone was lost, literally naked and afraid.
i managed to survive the next morning on the verge of passing out as i thought i was being kidnapped with my final strength i hop over the fence and cops find me naked in the streets when paramedics arrive and im placed on a 51-50 just, four days after my 24th birthday.
i had no contact with friends or family and they had no idea where i'd disappeared.
once i was released, i ended up telling my family about my drug use, childhood trauma, and depression all of which they knew nothing about. Went and got a psych eval, got a therapist, and started taking anti-depressant; I start my first STEPS meeting thursday afternoon for recovery. I'm still re-gaining my mental state back and i'm pretty sure i have a little PTSD each time i walk in my house re-playing sirens and police in my head.
so moral of the story, DON"T DO DRUGS KIDS lol
no but forreal, quit while you're behind, and always keep ur location on in your phone, i still can't find mine
I've been on and off meth for almost a year now. of course, i had made "future" plans to quit the end of this month, the infamous "ill quit tomorrow." only this time, tomorrow couldn't wait. three days into no sleep, psychosis sets in.
one moment i'm skyping a fellow BL member in my room and the next im panicking trying to figure out how to hide my stash before the cops/CIA bust in my room. Suddenly i'm in the bathroom, pipe shattered, handa cut, and a gram or so freshly swallowed thinking i was in the clear.
not only was i in psychosis, but i had a gram of tina waiting to settle, and the rest of the week will haunt me for the rest of my life.
that night i spent under parked cars trying to transform the car to help the cops, to jumping fences into a deserted business where i lived like the wild naked, terrified, and running from the cops in what was only my mind. Panicking, dehydrated, no one was there and my phone was lost, literally naked and afraid.
i managed to survive the next morning on the verge of passing out as i thought i was being kidnapped with my final strength i hop over the fence and cops find me naked in the streets when paramedics arrive and im placed on a 51-50 just, four days after my 24th birthday.
i had no contact with friends or family and they had no idea where i'd disappeared.
once i was released, i ended up telling my family about my drug use, childhood trauma, and depression all of which they knew nothing about. Went and got a psych eval, got a therapist, and started taking anti-depressant; I start my first STEPS meeting thursday afternoon for recovery. I'm still re-gaining my mental state back and i'm pretty sure i have a little PTSD each time i walk in my house re-playing sirens and police in my head.
so moral of the story, DON"T DO DRUGS KIDS lol
no but forreal, quit while you're behind, and always keep ur location on in your phone, i still can't find mine
