taking LSd feeling slightly melancholic? good idea or bad idea?

[bitchamonth]

This is my situation and I would appreciate if someone could honestly tell me if what I am planning on doing is a good or bad idea?

Exactly 1 week ago I experienced that the last 2 hours of my LSD trip turned bad, I had a panic attack and was moderately psychotic. I believe.
I`ve had this strange/weird chest pain the week following that event, but yesterday and today the chest pain has started to slowly disappear.
I`ve been taking LSD 2 weeks in a row now, increasing the dose from 50uG(it was my virgin trip), to 100uG and I plan on taking the same dose this weekend, 100uG.

I am sort of confused/melancholic today because of girlfriend stuff, personal stuff and just feel a little bit strange. Mixed emotions really, but very relaxed.

Having this in mind I am imagining that taking a dose of LSD can help me confront these confusions, but I feel like I am using LSD to solve problems, but isn`t LSD a wonderful drug for learning?

I am not anxious of having another bad trip because it`s inevitable to happen at various points at various times, I simply accept it. But yeah sure it can be avoided by following certain precautions, like setting, mindset and all. But I am fine with it, besides I learn something from the bad trips as well, so I appreciate bad trips as well even though they can be EXTREMELY uncomfortable. But I am fine with them. They are there.

I was planning doing some stretching, relaxing and breathing after taking a walk this evening, preparing myself for another LSD trip. I do treat LSD events in a special way, simply preparing myself for an interesting event.

I am unsure if this is a wise thing to do, I am confused and was hoping that Lucy could help me confront whatever I am confused about, and maybe give me a nice afterglow after this.

After the last trip, when I had the panic attack I felt to a degree spaced out and I found it uncomfortable to smile for a bit, I was just too overwhelmed.

At least I can comfort myself with that next time I have a bad trip atleast I can tell myself, "remember that Lucy is falling down the rabbit hole my friend".

I have pretty much decided to make this be the last 1 week separated trip (if you people don`t give me a good reason on why this is a bad idea? ), because it is starting to be a little much, but my excitement and eagerness for experimenting with the substance is not fading, but still my mind is starting to be slightly tired. So this will be my last time, before a longer than 1 week break.

 

[Achten]

because it is starting to be a little much, but my excitement and eagerness for experimenting with the substance is not fading, but still my mind is starting to be slightly tired.

Listen to that voice inside yourself.

I'm not opposed to taking lsd or sth else to gain insight in or alleviate "negative thoughts", but since you are a self-proclaimed virgin, I would tread wisely.

When I encountered these substances for the first time, I got a honeymoon of a good year. I was definetly doing it more than once a week. Let's say a heavy trip (150mcg) every week and sometiumes in between smaller trips. My job working at a restaurant allowed this, in the sense that I didn't have that much responsibility.

Then stuff happened in life, which I had to work through, and there was a voice inside me that said that psychedelics were not the method for this particular event.

Concrete: I did trip a few times, (the more lighter psychedelics, and extremely small doses), but catharsis truly came when I tripped after having gained "sober" insight into my issues.

"having a panic attack" or "becoming moderatly psychotic" is not what I would call a bad trip, but that's personal. I would call that inherent to the experience of changing your consciousness.
Having a psychotic episode actually helped me realize how some ther people see the world. Don't get me wrong, I was glad when it was over. But really this isn't what I'd call a bad trip.
I have had well over the hundreds of trips and one of them I would call bad. In the sense that I was dying. And not the good kind. Not a loving entity welcoming me, no spiritual epiphany, no gentle dissolution of the ego; just blackness, everywhere. It lasted for a good half hour and after that it gently left me. This was on 20mg 4AcODMT + 20mg 4HOMET. This was +/-18 months after my first trip.
I had a wonderful ++++ on 50mg 4HOMET 6months before that, just to place this in perspective.

My view ? Don't. Work through your karma without LSD and she will more than welcome you when you return "issue-less". (No one is ever without issues, IMO, but you get my point.)

 

[bitchamonth]

Listen to that voice inside yourself.

I'm not opposed to taking lsd or sth else to gain insight in or alleviate "negative thoughts", but since you are a self-proclaimed virgin, I would tread wisely.

When I encountered these substances for the first time, I got a honeymoon of a good year. I was definetly doing it more than once a week. Let's say a heavy trip (150mcg) every week and sometiumes in between smaller trips. My job working at a restaurant allowed this, in the sense that I didn't have that much responsibility.

Then stuff happened in life, which I had to work through, and there was a voice inside me that said that psychedelics were not the method for this particular event.

Concrete: I did trip a few times, (the more lighter psychedelics, and extremely small doses), but catharsis truly came when I tripped after having gained "sober" insight into my issues.

"having a panic attack" or "becoming moderatly psychotic" is not what I would call a bad trip, but that's personal. I would call that inherent to the experience of changing your consciousness.
Having a psychotic episode actually helped me realize how some ther people see the world. Don't get me wrong, I was glad when it was over. But really this isn't what I'd call a bad trip.
I have had well over the hundreds of trips and one of them I would call bad. In the sense that I was dying. And not the good kind. Not a loving entity welcoming me, no spiritual epiphany, no gentle dissolution of the ego; just blackness, everywhere. It lasted for a good half hour and after that it gently left me. This was on 20mg 4AcODMT + 20mg 4HOMET. This was +/-18 months after my first trip.
I had a wonderful ++++ on 50mg 4HOMET 6months before that, just to place this in perspective.

My view ? Don't. Work through your karma without LSD and she will more than welcome you when you return "issue-less". (No one is ever without issues, IMO, but you get my point.)

Maybe it wasn`t a bad trip after all, just something different.
Maybe I still have yet to experience a bad trip after all

If I do end up taking it today disregarded from this, I may end up having some emotional problems, or not.

It all comes down to how I feel later today. I`ll just have to weigh i out, and make a decision.

 

[johannes kreisler]

dude. wtf?!

 

[bitchamonth]

dude. wtf?!

wtf what wtf?

 

[johannes kreisler]

ok, you don't seem to be tripping, so I get a little more direct: WHAT THE FUCK are you thinking? or: how old are you?!
you start extensive threads, whine for days because you have (subjectively worrying) after effects from a traumatizing trip that you clearly have not integrated. lingering panic, thought loops, "psychotic episode". you get input to FUCKING WATCH YOURSELF and relax. and then you come up with this idea...
this is not how this works. if you go on like this you will have reasons to be worried. your psyche and its structure is a very delicate thing.
psychedelics are no toys, strong ones like acid have the power to crush everything you considered being "you" to tiny little pieces. and leave you and your loved ones with objective, long-term and "real world" problems.
I thought it would be clear enough that psychedelics are a no go for you for the weeks or even months to come.


sorry man: this is a harm reduction forum and you have just crossed the line from naive to dangerously stupid.
but I don't know. maybe this is what you need...somehow I can relate. but I honestly wouldn't wish you to go there.



[please excuse harsh language]

 

[atara]

I have pretty much decided to make this be the last 1 week separated trip (if you people don`t give me a good reason on why this is a bad idea? ), because it is starting to be a little much, but my excitement and eagerness for experimenting with the substance is not fading, but still my mind is starting to be slightly tired. So this will be my last time, before a longer than 1 week break.

How about "because it's giving you panic attacks"? Is that not a reasonable definition of "bad idea"?

Taking LSD in a bad mood isn't the worst thing in the world, especially if you have reason to believe that your life situation is otherwise okay. But taking LSD a week after a bad trip with no obvious explanation could just trigger more of the same.

Also, your post has a very odd structure, and your use of grammar is highly nonstandard. I believe the term is "incoherent rambling". This can lead us to think that perhaps you are not in an entirely healthy mental state, in which case you certainly shouldn't be taking LSD, weekly or otherwise.

 

[bitchamonth]

I`m confused, inconclusive and perplexed.

I know that all of this is acting foolishly and I am still knowingly pushing on wanting to trip.
It`s unwise and dumb, I know it would be and probably is, especially considering my mood swings today.


It`s just that after my first LSD trip I had this amazing afterglow, I felt so confident and had this amazing gratefulness towards my friends and family, and I was laughing all the time, even 5 days after the initial trip, but then on the second LSD Trip I was left so mentally exhausted and anxious/afraid and tired, which overwhelmed me, and I am healing slowly. I think I am trying to help myself by taking the same dose again, I have something in mind like a reboot or something like that.

Sounds dumb doesn`t it. But I`m a noob, I need to learn.

Wouldn`t doubt that it can crush me, but we aren`t talking MEGA-doses here, 100uG with a slight tolerance, and dangerously stupid is also exaggeration from your side.

But disregarded from that, for my own peace of mind and maybe yours as well, I`ve come to the conclusion to take a longer break, and not eat her. I`ve had mood swings all day long, from feelings of content, to sadness to strange depressive feelings to real joyfulness. I am just too unpredictable, I`ll wait.

Also forgot to say thanks to all

 

[Gratuitous Grace]

I`ve been taking LSD 2 weeks in a row now, increasing the dose from 50uG(it was my virgin trip), to 100uG and I plan on taking the same dose this weekend, 100uG.

OK ... when you've done LSD twice in your life, there's no such thing as "in a row."

You've had two lowish dosage trips now, and you're just getting used to the whole game. Can we please call this what it is? All of these musings about confronting confusion, solving problems, learning, appreciating bad trips, telling us what's inevitable, etc., etc., etc. ... IDK, it's all just noise at this point, man. Relax, take some time, stop rushing, let this happen at its own pace. You've been a psychedelic user for a matter of DAYS. Just take it easy.

Not trying to be harsh ... trying to keep you sane, trying to keep you from going off the deep end and ruining this before you've really even started.

 

[johannes kreisler]

It`s just that after my first LSD trip I had this amazing afterglow, I felt so confident and had this amazing gratefulness towards my friends and family, and I was laughing all the time, even 5 days after the initial trip, but then on the second LSD Trip I was left so mentally exhausted and anxious/afraid and tired, which overwhelmed me, and I am healing slowly. I think I am trying to help myself by taking the same dose again, I have something in mind like a reboot or something like that.

it doesn't work that way. this is one feature that makes psychedelics so interesting and dangerous at the same time: they are not predictable.
if it comforts you: I've been chasing my first real trip (which was a ++++ on psilocybin and presumably magnitudes more intense and life-changing than your experience) for YEARS until I learned that simple fact - and also how to reliably use psychedelics to my advantage.

btw: the dose (and also substance) is just one factor of three. the others being set [this includes experience with altered states] and setting.
if one of this factors is less than perfect or cannot be sufficiently calculated: skip the experience.
100mcg can crush you. period.

responsible use of potent psychoactives takes a lot of calculation of various internal and external risk factors. you got to know these factors, find ways to estimate them and construct a decision out of them. even the most reasonable decision still carries a risk. there is no safety. there are only risks and certain possibilities. and this fact needs to be put into account too. you always need a plan B.
if you are young, you lack experience to make decisions with a narrow risk margin. this means that you will have to be much more careful and hesitant with your decisions. if you don't feel safe, don't proceed.

it might seem to you that many people on here are casual about their use of psychedelics. but most psychonauts are never casual when it comes to psychedelics [quote shulgin: "there are no insignificant psychedelic experiences."]. if you have hundreds or even thousands of psychedelic experiences under your belt, the risk margin has usually narrowed down and you intuitively know when to say yes or - what is more important - when to say no. even then difficult experiences happen and there must be resources to deal with them.


...listen to Gratuitous Grace: don't ruin this for you. psychedelics can be a life-long ally or an instant psychological toxin.

 

[bitchamonth]

It`s already settled.
I`ve decided to take a longer break.
Thanks for the help, everyone.

 

[Achten]

wise decision !