Taking just because they are there

[jayjaysleepyhead]

Hi guys im jay been on and off this site for a year or so. Anyway round about every 2nd tuesday i get a text from a mate as usual he knows i get paid and wants to sell me his oxycodone and serequel , and even though im off drugs like heroin and crack i just somehow feel obliged to buy some. You dont get many offers of oxys here in uk and also as my sleep is really bad i know serequel will knock me out if i take a 150 just before bed. But when i take these tabs it also makes me think boy id love a rock or two which im so against when im sober, see deep down i know im doing wrong as the days are gone of me smoking and having a habit thank god, but ive always been a sucker when it comes to tablets like benzos and opiods etc. As i can obtain klonopin diazepam tramadol and lyrica. I wanna say no but always convince myself to buy with excuses like its only once a fortnight so what im asking for is some ideas to say no as this guy just wants cash to buy drugs , a bit of a mummys boy with a car on benefits .

 

[neversickanymore]

DiTM >> SL

 

[jayjaysleepyhead]

Sorry mate could you not use abbreviations please have the decency to write the words as i dont have a clue what you mean thanx and dont be ofènded,as its me am not to used to computers

 

[Jabberwocky]

He meant that he moved your thread from the Drugs in the Media section ("DiTM"; where they post articles from the media related to substance use) to Sober Living ("SL"; where we talk about issues related to recovery and such.

 

[jayjaysleepyhead]

Yes well maybe an extra bit of typing wouldnt hurt i understood the sober living bit, as u know dog am not very well still not managed to go out doesnt help when u live in a craphole like tottenham in löndön uk. All u see is people drinking beer on every street corner its grim my friend and hard to ignore ,many thanx again for trying to help im just so touchy and angry at the mo .

 

[Stargazer]

Hey Hey Jay. Im feeling angry today too...I relasped back onto IV heroin. Amd Im on day 2 of not using. Im misedable and feel like slapping someone.

As far as this friend that calls when he knows you have money- Ive got one of thise too.

The second I was off of probation- he was here w percocet to sell me-then oxys- then suboxone strips which naturally led to dope- he's no fucking friend. And either is this guy calling you. As you said- those rocks are whispering to you when you're guard is down. I hear you ... dope whispers to me and sometimes uses a megaphone and outright shouts and waves.

I lost soo much, been through so much because of addiction and getting off opiates cold-turkey was horrifying and hard won. As Im sure it was for you.

Block that guy...anything it takes not togo back. And I understand things looking grim- same here. But Im fighting to change that. Good that you're able to see this Jay. I wish you the very best.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Please take care of yourself 10years. Please try and keep in mind this isn't so much a failure as an opportunity. There is no reason you can't keep this lapse from turning into a full blown relapse and let it get to the point of fucking shit up. After all, you're only a couple days in. Take care my friend

Might be a good idea to update your original thread with this info (if you haven't already). You'll get better support and feedback than you can probably imagine right now. Again:



We are rooting for you! No. Matter. What.

 

[Stargazer]

*Do you mean start a new thread to re-introducd myslf? I thought about it and felt ashamed- as I start sobbing as I typed that and feim your kind words and detoxing- Im so over this shit TPD Thankyou

 

[Jabberwocky]

I though I saw you create a thread the other day. I guess I do tend to see a lot of shit times that isn't. Really. Entirely. There.

Perhaps it was just cause I wanted to see it. But hell yeah! If you're comfortable with it, your story would benefit more people than you could begin to imagine. But only do it if YOU want to. Fuck helping anyone else if it isn't helping yourself.

No rush regardless. You're back. Whenever you feel like it, you should know we all encourage you to contribute however you feel is appropriate