tackling the big issues.... gender re-assignment and sexual preferences..

[muzby]

right-e-o.. we need another of these..

the other day mrs muzby and i noticed a very obvious tranny walking along the streets of melbourne... the guy she was with looked totally in love with him/her (either that, or he was getting his money's worth! )

now.. that got me thinking.. when i was at uni, i had a lecturer who went from being a "she" in first year to a "he" for my second year... previously she was a lesbian, and was in a long term relationship... after the operation they were still a couple...

which got me posing a number of questions...

did that make the lecturer's girlfriend no longer a lesbian?
isn't being gay a life choice?
can that change if the right person decided they wanted to change?
is the guy who had the tranny in the city gay or straight?
if your partner said he / she wanted to change to a she / he, would you still love them? could you?
and just for good measure, lets throw the kids issue in there...
what if there were kids in the relationship.. would this be hard for them to understand why daddy was now a mummy? (unless they were in ancient egypt.. /end lame joke)


anyways... discuss.

 

[WitchDoctor]

did that make the lecturer's girlfriend no longer a lesbian?
- maybe she was bi?
isn't being gay a life choice?
- u mean u choose to be gay and just stick to it forever? what about the "curious people"?
can that change if the right person decided they wanted to change?
- im sure it could.
is the guy who had the tranny in the city gay or straight?
- i would say he is gay.. does having sex with a blow up female doll make u straight?
if your partner said he / she wanted to change to a she / he, would you still love them? could you?
- love them on a friendship level i suppose.
and just for good measure, lets throw the kids issue in there...
what if there were kids in the relationship.. would this be hard for them to understand why daddy was now a mummy? (unless they were in ancient egypt.. /end lame joke)
- depends how old they are i guess..

 

[vanth]

I think gender and sexuality are a lot more fluid and flexible than the three (or sometimes 2) commonly accepted labels of straight, gay or bisexual.

People are always struggling to pigeonhole themselves and others.

 

[m4dd0g]

'Pigeonhole', i havnt tried that

on topic: yeah sure, why not?

 

[vanth]

Illuminating as always, m4dd0g

 

[Solipsist]

There's a blog entry I recently read that's somewhat related to this. It was written by Ian Harvie - an American transgender comedian (born a female, identifies as male).

"I described my ideas on sexuality to a man named Tom in an interview recently. This is roughly what I said: I view sexuality as an umbrella. Under that umbrella we have biological sex, gender, and sexual orientation. And none of these three things have anything to do with each other, other than maybe they share the same umbrella. Biological sex is a scientific determination. Gender is something that we get to make up as we go along – it can change, morph, and slide on our continuum, depending on how we feel that particular day or moment. Sexual orientation is who tend to be attracted to, which is also changing and fluid.
...
Maybe this is me being ageist, but it seems a lot of young queer folks get uncomfortable with labels and want to avoid them entirely. I say, there aren't enough labels. I say, lets never stop trying to find a language to describe ourselves to each other and let's love all of those identities and descriptors."

Complete entru available HERE.

 

[who_can_say]

I know alot of people who are same-attracted that would refuse to label themselves 'gay' or 'lesbian' or whatever. So the answer to your first question could elicit as many answers as the number of people you asked.

Is gay being a choice? Hmmm yes and no. You could be same-sex attracted but choose not to act on it; in that respect, it's a choice. But in the end you're still same-sex attracted. I often wonder whether if I could choose, whether I would want to be gay. I don't think I would want to - the world is hard enough without already being a minority, any minority. But I've never done things the easy way...plus I love the wang.

Those are my five cents worth.

 

[Raz]

did that make the lecturer's girlfriend no longer a lesbian?
No.
isn't being gay a life choice?
No. For fuck's sake. This is the only thing I have read that you have ever written that IMO sounds massively ignorant. Did you wake up one day and decide to be heterosexual? I am assuming not....do you really think on the other side of the fence we weighed up the pros and the cons and said "hey I love the idea of being punched upside the head for no particular reason and having my family accuse me of pedophilia, I'm goin' with the fagness!" People can choose what kind of lifestyle they want to live, but you don't get to pick what gender you're naturally attracted to. 8(
can that change if the right person decided they wanted to change?
You can mask it, sure....my ex was married to a woman for 6 years and had two kids by her before he met me....by the same token, look at the number of straight men who go to prison for a long term and resign themselves to having sex with other men; it doesn't make them gay, it just means that human beings are very good at choosing whether we follow our natural instincts or not....it doesn't mean those instincts aren't there though.
is the guy who had the tranny in the city gay or straight?
If he considers himself straight, he's straight. If he considers himself gay, he's gay. Other people can't decide what your sexual orientation is.
if your partner said he / she wanted to change to a she / he, would you still love them? could you?
Honestly? I don't know. If I really loved them and considered our relationship to be something lifelong, I would be willing to look at it, but the truth is that I find men sexually attractive and I don't find women sexually attractive. So I don't know.
and just for good measure, lets throw the kids issue in there...
what if there were kids in the relationship.. would this be hard for them to understand why daddy was now a mummy?
It would definitely be hard for them if they're at the age where they're aware that the rest of the world is judging them....that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done though, because at the end of the day, the trannie will be happier for being true to themselves, the kids will get over it, and that's all there is to it.....I hate that there seems to be an idea that once you're a parent, you live solely for the happiness of your children. That isn't true at all, and if you've been a good parent then your kids should be able to deal with that kind of 8-ball anyway because they will realise that the world isn't subject to their preconceptions....

 

[doofqueen]

^^^ awesome post

 

[rm2x]

raz nailed it

I reckon each to their own, do whatever you have to do to feel happy and have a stable functioning life

 

[Solipsist]

isn't being gay a life choice?
No. For fuck's sake. This is the only thing I have read that you have ever written that IMO sounds massively ignorant. Did you wake up one day and decide to be heterosexual? I am assuming not....do you really think on the other side of the fence we weighed up the pros and the cons and said "hey I love the idea of being punched upside the head for no particular reason and having my family accuse me of pedophilia, I'm goin' with the fagness!" People can choose what kind of lifestyle they want to live, but you don't get to pick what gender you're naturally attracted to. 8(

I don't think that's what Muzby meant. I read that question as "If you're gay, aren't you gay for life?" Which is why I posted what I posted.

Sexuality is so personal and so confusing that one can't view it as static. And for some strange reason, I've noticed that people tend to view homosexuality as fixed. A straight person can have a fling or even fall in love with a member of the same sex, but if gay person has a relationship with a member of the opposite sex the reaction seems to be "What?! But they're GAY!" I think we should view the relationship Muz mentioned with a wonderful sense of awe - I mean, fuck, if they can get through that they can get through anything - instead of wondering whether the female partner fits into the 'lesbian' box anymore.

I agree with Raz when he says that it's not our place to decide what sexual label belongs on who. Sexuality is open to interpretation, which is part of the fun.

 

[preacha]

Did you wake up one day and decide to be heterosexual?

every single day

 

[eggman]

I get the feeling the old skydancer post is going to come out... man that was a classic

 

[Samadhi]

^ Hehehe.

We have a male to female transsexual at one of our sites at work. Everyone was briefed before he left on "leave" (read: to have the op) that he'd be a woman when he returned. So far, there have been no issues. I actually scratch my head, considering the organisation i work for. Good on her, though, not many people would have the balls (pun intended) to come out like that at work.

 

[eggman]

well i guess if your intention was to return to your same job after the op then coming out would be much wiser than rocking up after taking annual leave in a cleavage accentuating top and a skirt

 

[Samadhi]

heh, i'd do both.

 

[lostpunk5545]

Haha I'd just really fuck with everyone really badly and come back as a new person.

 

[Rated E]

did that make the lecturer's girlfriend no longer a lesbian?
- maybe she was bi?

Or maybe the lecturer's girlfriend was in love with her partner, not a gender.

 

[MazDan]

I don't think that's what Muzby meant. I read that question as "If you're gay, aren't you gay for life?" Which is why I posted what I posted.
.

Well thats funny because I took it totally different from both of you.

I think he meant that it affects your every part of life. To which my answer is a resounding NO...........who I sleep with doesnt change even a little bit who I am or any other part of my life...............well not to me it doesnt.

 

[zephyr]

Is being short a life choice too?